Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
5 yo is so grumpy!



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 8:50 am
Am I doing anything wrong?
My 5 yo is very moody. Sometimes when I pick him up he is too grumpy to talk, so I just let him sit quietly until he's ready to play/talk/eat/whatever. In the morning, he is so happy to wake up and to see me. He will play, eat, etc. He sometimes gets grumpy when I tell him to get dressed (I never yell, I just say "it's time to get dressed now," sometimes I add "or you'll miss your bus.)
But today took the cake. He got so grumpy because he had been wearing gloves before he put on his shoes, so he couldn't get his shoes on. He grumpily asked me to helped, and I happily obliged after having him ask respectfully. Then he proceeded to freak out because I wanted to open the Velcro straps in order to get his shoes on. He insisted the straps stay closed, which obviously makes it much harder to get the shoes on. (He does it himself this way all the time but his bulky gloves prevented him from being able to today.) I offered him the choice of taking off his gloves or letting me open the straps and then close them, and he grumpily took off a glove, put his shoes on, and demanded that I put his glove back on. Again I asked him to ask respectfully which he (sort of) did, so I helped him. We got in the car to go to the bus stop and boy was he a grump. He frowned the whole way, refused to look at me At the bus stop, and went off on the bus with an angry look.
All the while I was calm and kept my cool, I said "bye sweetie, I love you," pretended it was normal.

Now that I think about it I probably should have offered a hug- he usually accepts a hug and starts to cry (I guess letting his emotions out) but this was the early morning rush in freezing cold weather... I will bli neder offer extra attention today when he comes home.

Anyway my real question is: is this normal for a 5 year old?
Back to top

livliv123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 9:14 am
I have a 6 year old that is VERY moody, and has been since birth. This is all completely normal and he just has trouble managing his intense emotions (But is always getting better at it). You’ll have to find a middle ground between being empathetic, and expecting respectful and courteous behaviour, regardless of how he might be feeling in that moment.

By us, we’ll always listen to him if he wants to talk about his feelings or emote, but we tell him that his bad mood can’t control the whole mood in the house. If he needs some time to compose himself, he can go into the play room and come out when he’s ready to talk.

On the plus side, he’s VERY empathetic and compassionate, which comes out in a number of wonderful ways.

I wonder if your son is also very sensitive for good and for bad.
Back to top

amother
Beige


 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 9:31 am
Most kids (and adults) and much more moody when they don't eat enough or sleep enough. Is it possible that's the case with him? My kids wake up/ come home from school famished no matter what or how much food I send with them. I don't expect normalcy until everyone has eaten something substantial. And if someone had a bad night, forget it.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 9:36 am
Yes, he is a kind, sensitive soul! He can be very thoughtful and is a sweetheart and can be very mature!

He is not hungry or tired. He goes to bed at 6, falls asleep at 7, and wakes up on his own around 6:30.
Back to top

livliv123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 9:37 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes, he is a kind, sensitive soul! He can be very thoughtful and is a sweetheart and can be very mature!

He is not hungry or tired. He goes to bed at 6, falls asleep at 7, and wakes up on his own around 6:30.


Sounds like my boy!
Just two sides of the same coin. Hatzlacha!
Back to top

amother
Apricot


 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 9:41 am
Is it surrounding school? Is it happening when you pick him up from school or when you are trying to leave the house to school? My daughter was similar and it was because she was being treated very badly in school. I would try to figure out what's happening there. And asking the teacher is not enough especially if it's the teacher causing it.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 9:44 am
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
Is it surrounding school? Is it happening when you pick him up from school or when you are trying to leave the house to school? My daughter was similar and it was because she was being treated very badly in school. I would try to figure out what's happening there. And asking the teacher is not enough especially if it's the teacher causing it.


No, he often comes home very very happy from school. He likes to go to school.
I will ask him directly later today, but I don't think this is the problem.
Back to top

blessedjmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 9:57 am
Is he more sensory sensitive? Maybe things bother him more than the usual. With his clothing ... materials etc.
Noise etc.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 10:05 am
blessedjmom wrote:
Is he more sensory sensitive? Maybe things bother him more than the usual. With his clothing ... materials etc.
Noise etc.


I completely allow him to choose his own clothing. I only buy soft cotton clothing. He wears t shirts with no buttons. He is allowed to wear whatever he wants when he gets home.
I can't see his being the problem.

He likes things to be very mesudar and gets very bent out of shape when it's not. He gets nervous about things. He probably was nervous about making the bus+ wanted his gloves on AND his shoes done the "right" way, which probably led to a lot of frustration.
Back to top

groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 10:26 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I completely allow him to choose his own clothing. I only buy soft cotton clothing. He wears t shirts with no buttons. He is allowed to wear whatever he wants when he gets home.
I can't see his being the problem.

He likes things to be very mesudar and gets very bent out of shape when it's not. He gets nervous about things. He probably was nervous about making the bus+ wanted his gloves on AND his shoes done the "right" way, which probably led to a lot of frustration.


It sounds like you are describing exactly my son. He is pretty moody and very particular. I didn't even notice how moody he was until I had my daughter and saw the contrast between them. She is almost always cheerful, easygoing, and happy to see me.

He is not unhappy, he just has very intense emotions and does not yet have the maturity to express them all and is too young to understand that adults don't know everything going on in his head. In his mind, I know what he likes and when I don't do something just so, it's on purpose. He lashes out easily, and it is very very challenging to deal with him pleasantly all the time.

On the flip side, he is doing well in school, has friends, is very sweet when he's in a good mood; which I'm happy to say is more and more often as he grows and matures. You are doing the right thing by just staying calm, and speaking nicely to him. He will eventually (I know it can seem like FOREVER) learn to model your speech and way of communicating. Also, and it seems like you are doing this already, do your best to let him do things 'his' way even when it's a pain for you. He will learn that you DO respect his preferences and opinions, and will lose that feeling that he needs to lash out or cry to get his way.

Good luck, and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 10:46 am
groovy1224 wrote:
It sounds like you are describing exactly my son. He is pretty moody and very particular. I didn't even notice how moody he was until I had my daughter and saw the contrast between them. She is almost always cheerful, easygoing, and happy to see me.

He is not unhappy, he just has very intense emotions and does not yet have the maturity to express them all and is too young to understand that adults don't know everything going on in his head. In his mind, I know what he likes and when I don't do something just so, it's on purpose. He lashes out easily, and it is very very challenging to deal with him pleasantly all the time.

On the flip side, he is doing well in school, has friends, is very sweet when he's in a good mood; which I'm happy to say is more and more often as he grows and matures. You are doing the right thing by just staying calm, and speaking nicely to him. He will eventually (I know it can seem like FOREVER) learn to model your speech and way of communicating. Also, and it seems like you are doing this already, do your best to let him do things 'his' way even when it's a pain for you. He will learn that you DO respect his preferences and opinions, and will lose that feeling that he needs to lash out or cry to get his way.

Good luck, and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!


Thank you, this is very helpful.

Honestly, it's not about me- I am able to keep my cool (I've worked on it, and it's a priority). I was just worried about him. If it's ok for me to continue modeling healthy communication and just love him despite his grumpiness, I am happy to do so; I just wanted to make sure that I'm on the right track and that it's not abnormal for a child to be this way.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children