11 year old asking what s-x is

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 12:31 am

I know this was discussed recently but can’t find the thread. My 6th grader came home asking what S-x is. She said her friend told her married people do it but she’s not allowed to talk about it. We already spoke about her period and how her body works. I don’t think she’s mature enough to handle where a male comes in to picture. There were too many people around when she asked me. I told her we’re going to do private time for this talk and she’s all excited bout it. Any advice on what to say?
Thank you.

tryinghard

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 12:33 am

This was one good thread. https://www.imamother.com/foru.....rt=20

Play around with the search feature, there are a number of good threads floating around on here

ETA: Baruch HaShem, you are certainly doing something right: she came to ask you about it. Keep those lines of communication open!

amother

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 12:39 am

Thanks so much for that link. Going to bed now but will read through tomorrow. Looks like a lot of good advice.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 7:05 am

Be aware that whatever you tell her, she will repeat back to her friend.
Give her the dry facts, no details. Ask her what she knows and go according to that. You don't want to overwhelm her with too much info she's not ready to hear.
And the main thing is to make it clear that she should always come to you with any questions, never to friends. You know the facts and her friends might give her wrong info.

Good luck! It's not easy

I remember how overwhelmed my neice was when her friend gave her the details. She did not sleep for a few days and her mother was going crazy trying to undo the damage done.

amother

Jade

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 7:29 am

My mom told me when I was nine
My kids friend told my daughter when she was nine

amother

Sienna

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 11:48 am

I don't understand why people would try to keep the basic facts secret. That only builds curiosity, and it leads to children thinking about the subject excessively.

dee's mommy

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 12:24 pm

I would just answer her question. It's better coming from you than from another source. I would be clinical and scientific about it.

I talked to my daughter some months ago about it. I used the help of some books about reproduction from the public library that is aimed at young children that I had previewed.

Besides talking about this from a reproduction point of view, I did mention that this is an expression of love between married couples.

I told my daughter that she shouldn't discuss this with her friends, because it is up to their parents to talk to them about it when they chose. Also, she should come to me with her questions.

Like many here, I was nervous before this conversation, but once I did it, it wasn't as scary a conversation as I had feared.

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