Zanvel Zevulun's Chanukah PTSD

Jewishfoodie

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 9:20 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I'm going to try to say this very gently.

You're on bedrest. That means for the MAJORITY of the day you are wearing no heels at all, and Zanvil has to gaze at a lumpy bed.

Do you really think it's too much to ask you to dress up for him when you DO get out of bed? Makeup, a nice swing dress (to look good with the belly), and high heels?

I know you really want to be an Eishes Chayil, but your Yetzer Hara seems to be trying to corrupt you. If you have been watching youtube videos while you are in bed, you might want to stop now and go back to saying Tehillim. Then you won't have such Machshavos Zaros.

And salmon is another flavor..

amother

Magenta

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 10:03 pm

top mom wrote:

Salmon donuts😋

Yes sweetie. Salmon is oh so healthy. And ZZZ needs lots of koach. After all taking care of his needs these days are so exhausting. Poor shefela

And how about some quinoa donuts? You can coat them with freshly ground carob turned into a glaze and freshly ground coconut.

What? You never heard of this before? Come on! What was poor shefela eating till now?

I’m afraid you never heard of rabbi shimon bar yochai carob tree? I would suggest you brush up on your Jewish history skills. Locate that tree and get to work Wink

Laiya

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 10:30 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

(only triplets? Get out a bed and stop being lazy!) Your poor husband! How did your boss let you off for bed rest?! We live in such a lazy world.. Go back to work, when you get home, google the word "flavors". Then make 2 donuts to represent each one. By now you should be well versed in molecular gastronomy and progressive cuisine... I mean.. How long are you married? At least 2 years...

When they cool, taste one of each. Narrow down first to top 1000, then further narrow down to top 100. Then work on your plating skills, (tweezers for microgreens, edible flowers and the like,) and when you've plated those final 100, take a shower, get dressed in your best outfit, nicest wig, make sure you look super, for zanvil of course, and present each one with a 4 line poem about that flavor.

Don't cheat with..
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I baked these donuts,
Because I'm a good Jew.

Because that right there is grounds for divorce.

And work some choreography into each one. You know, wiggle a bit... I shouldn't have to teach you this. It's rudimentary stuff...

Come on, girl.. Get it together! Everyone does this! Banging head

(poor zanvi)

Not to derail the thread, but JF why would you advise her to bake the donuts?? Can't Believe It

The entire point of donuts is that they are deep fried. Your need to diet is irrelevant in this situation. I feel so sad for children growing up in such an environment, their mothers baking donuts. Please, for yourself and your family, try to find a good rav, therapist, doctor, lawyer, educator, OT and possibly yoga instructor to speak with, if at all possible

Jewishfoodie

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 10:41 pm

Laiya wrote:

Not to derail the thread, but JF why would you advise her to bake the donuts?? Can't Believe It

Very simple. Zanvi doesn't like to hear the word "fry" because with his chashuva lineage, that word has a different connotation. Now go do teshuvah for not knowing this. And the fact that I'm a humble unlicensed marriage counselor/life coach/psychologist/yoga instructor /dietician/dog walker.

Laiya

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 10:50 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

I think your mockery of the word "fry" in reference to chanukah donuts is treading very close to to one of those Banned Topics on imamother. And I'm sorry but yichus isn't everything. Now, all that aside, how much do you charge for dog walking? I haven't been able to find any in my area.

Jewishfoodie

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 11:04 pm

Laiya wrote:

Umm.. So, you may not know this yet about me but I'm a dog. And I walk. But I don't like walking with other dogs because, well, with all my non-degrees, I have to listen to all their problems, apparently they claim being a dog is ruff ruff, and they're barking up the wrong tree. That tree is mine. I marked that territory myself. So... Maybe just walk your own dog and not set a bad example for OP who thinks it's perfectly normal to take off from work just because she's on bedrest with triplets. And don't mock ZZZ and his trigger words! He's super sensitive! We have to consider his feelings, especially when we know his wife is an absentee aishes ish...I mean, 3 inch heels? Where do they sell them? Sodom and Gemorah?!

Laiya

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 11:29 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

Good point about marking your territory but can we please try to stay on topic for OP? I'm surprised no one has suggested any time management tips. Even if she has to spend 23 hours a day in bed, that's still a whole hour to cook and clean and she shouldn't be this stressed.

freilich

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 12:02 am

Jewishfoodie wrote:

Um...are you a dog? Or do you identify as one? I’m confused

Sorry, don’t want to derail this important topic. Shall I start a spinoff, or should I just go to sleep?

Dina2018

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 5:26 am

flowerpower wrote:

If you buy ready made filling then it’s posul and you have to burn it with the challah dough. Just a warning

Here are some ideas. I even made it in alphabetical order so you’ll have an easier time-

Apple(peeled cooked and mashed)
Banana ( yum)
Cookie dough
Donut flavor( basically oily dough)
Everything but the kitchen sink (my most fun flavor)
Fake donuts (baked)
Giant donut( whole family shares it)
Hearty donut( vegetable soup mixture)
Invisable donut ( don’t even bother looking for it)
Junk donut ( whatever is in your candy jar)
Kinky donut ( basically red stuff on it)
Long donut (fill one of your challahs with custard)
Mint donut ( thankfully the littles won’t fight over it)
Naughty donut (this one has the most calories of all)
Open donut ( basically the bottom part - top goes to the kid that forgets to take a snack to school)
Pastry donut ( bake a round piece of flakey dough and powder with confection sugar)
Quiet donut ( don’t have much to say to this one)
Ring donut ( save the center for a different night)
Stackable donuts ( pile em all until they topple over and everyone grabs one)
Tricky donut( make it look gross so no one touches it but then eat it when they’re in bed)
Unforgetable donut( here is where cayenne pepper enters the donut area)
Vegan donut ( basically from kale flour)
Water donuts( water basically- save fr the last night)
Xtra special ( serve for Friday night next to the latkes)
Yellow donuts (make sure you have yellow food coloring at home)
Zebra donuts ( you can find a tuturial on youtube for tips)

If you need more just give a hollar!

great tips 😂😂😂😂long donut is my favorite!

amother

Salmon

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 12:09 am

OP, once my DHH (dear holy husband) heard about this minhag, he insisted I do the same.

However, I'm finding it a DROP overwhelming, and I'm hoping you can share some tips and recipes.

Which flavors have you made so far? Which did ZZ like the best? Can you see the PTSD turning into DTPS (donut tasting pure satisfaction)?

And how do you get the smell of frying oil out of your shaitel and heels?

Thank you so much for all of your advice!

(And now that you're dressing up properly for ZZ, I'm sure your Shalom Bayis is only getting better!)

Sunny Days

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 4:45 am

Dearest OP, I’m inspired.
Another idea for donuts would be a fermented beets flavor (think of the nice deep color) and a prosobee flavor (or whatever formula you’ve ever supplemented your quads with)
I’m thinking a chopped eggs/liver might be a nice surprise too and can double as an entree.
Happy פריי׳ינג

top mom

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 5:23 am

Dear helpful, generous, spilling-over-with-good-intentions amothers, just a little reminder, I AM in my first trimester, so please be gentle with any queasy flavor suggestions.
I'm obviously ready to do anything for Zanvelotion, I just need a trigger warning to grab a bucket before reading about particular flavor suggestions. I mean, one bucket was NOT enough for the liver and egg flavor Puke

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 4:00 pm

top mom wrote:

Just out of curiosity are you really pregnant with triplets??!?!?

Sunny Days

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 4:10 pm

Dearest eishis chayil/op sh’tichya,

Please excuse me if this comes across as insensitive or prying... you may have mentioned it in your op- but my fried brain can’t recall...
So in reference to your subject line- is this zzzz ptsd or yours? And have you found the right help to deal with this? I’m only asking bec I know the nature of imamother and I want to avoid you being pained by people jumping on you telling you to go on bc with all going on...
Many hugs & 🍩 donuts,
Heart

your sista’ Heart