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Is this rude?
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amother




Rose
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 5:07 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
Why? Unlike the flu, it’s not contagious, and they’re just as obligated in mitzvot as anyone else.

But then how will we fulfill the mitzvah of ostracizing people?
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rachel0615




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 5:07 pm
They said that they wanted to know if I can make a homemade dessert too bc the one with the flu is having a craving for it, and the other woman wouldn't mind some either.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 5:18 pm
I don't know if it's rude as much as it's bizarre and lacks a sense of social graces. I'd just stick two sufganiyot in a tin and call it a day.
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 5:50 pm
its off

my guess is that they assumed incorrectly since you invited them you were making desserts anyway or discussing how sorry they are to miss your offer etc...you don't have to make them you can say sorry you can't or something or yeah just send over two sufganiot or something only if you want to

you would know best what kind of people they are and if they are off, demanding, pushy, passive aggressive, or what have you
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animeme




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 6:01 pm
Definitely sounds like missing social skills.
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penguin




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 6:09 pm
I would assume they thought you are making a whole meal and while you didn't offer the full meal, they meant that if you were making dessert they'd like some.

I wouldn't make special but if I had something I would send. (That is, if I had chosen to get involved with them at all, not saying either way...)
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amother




Purple
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 6:32 pm
rachel0615 wrote:
Good point:-)

In my mind, because of their current situation, I want to make a good impression and spread some love of Torah and mitsvos to them.

Re having them over- we have one baby now bh so she wouldn't pick up anything about their lifestyle..down the road, we will see.

Also they asked my husband to write their grandson a card 🤷‍♀️


A card, was the intent they're hoping for gelt included inside? Scratching Head
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Librarian




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 6:48 pm
You should not make the dessert!
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Cheiny




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 7:13 pm
rachel0615 wrote:
We have a non frum lesbian couple on our block. Both women were brought up frum and at least one of them was married to a man at one point. Anyhow I felt like we should invite them for a meal and candle lighting over chanuka- we see them from time to time, we are the only frum ppl on the block, my husband taught their special needs grandson when he was visiting them one summer to expose him to some Torah. They answered that one of them has the flu but the other would love to go. I said I would rather not because of germs and I have a baby so I offered to make them.latkes and drop them off. They said that would be nice. Wonderful! Then they texted me saying they would like a homemade dessert too. So so bizzare. I'm kind of annoyed they would ask that of me. Is it rude? Of course I will be making it for them but I'm feeling kind of blah over this.


Yes it’s weird. Obviously they’re not very socially with it. Try to do it happily, it will just get you that much more s’char,
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ectomorph




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 7:35 pm
I would drop off the latkes and not invite them again. They seem to have poor boundaries.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 9:55 pm
I feel so crazy after reading all the responses here. If I was the OP then I would have read the text and thought to myself "oh rats, now I have to make a dessert". I am so surprised at the responses here and now wondering what is wrong with me!
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 10:15 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
I feel so crazy after reading all the responses here. If I was the OP then I would have read the text and thought to myself "oh rats, now I have to make a dessert". I am so surprised at the responses here and now wondering what is wrong with me!


Can you please come clean my house for Shabbos, and when you're done, do the cooking? 12 ppl per meal plz. Hugs! Thanks!
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causemommysaid




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 10:23 pm
Maybe they were offended you wont have the healthy one over so they are messing with you.

Or maybe they are just plain weird and lack social skills. I would bring over the latkas and a dessert and then stay far away.

They sound socially off.
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malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 10:26 pm
You're talking about a granny lesbian couple and you're worried about rude? Just the images this evokes in my brain are enough to make me puke.
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fmt4




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 10:28 pm
malki2 wrote:
You're talking about a granny lesbian couple and you're worried about rude? Just the images this evokes in my brain are enough to make me puke.


Seriously? How old are you?
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amother




Rose
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 10:29 pm
To me it sounds like from their view, the conversation shifted from being about the invite to them asking OP to help them out because she has the flu. The flu can be pretty serious.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 10:48 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Can you please come clean my house for Shabbos, and when you're done, do the cooking? 12 ppl per meal plz. Hugs! Thanks!


jewishfoodie, so rude, I will have to start a spinoff Smile
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amother




Pearl
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 11:25 pm
anyone else thinking how bizarre it is that a lesbian couple has a grandson? which means they must be older. which I find very odd, because lesbian and gay couples has only been a thing recently. meaning only in the last 20 years or so has been in style to actually live together, I thought years ago it was frowned upon and therefore people were more secretive about it.
I dont know any lesbian grandmother age couples. only young in their 20s and 30s age.
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agreer




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 11:39 pm
amother [ Pearl ] wrote:
anyone else thinking how bizarre it is that a lesbian couple has a grandson? which means they must be older. which I find very odd, because lesbian and gay couples has only been a thing recently. meaning only in the last 20 years or so has been in style to actually live together, I thought years ago it was frowned upon and therefore people were more secretive about it.
I dont know any lesbian grandmother age couples. only young in their 20s and 30s age.


She said one was married to a man. It could be a 50 yo grandmother, if she got married at 20 and had kids with him before she came out.

Gay couples have been around forever. They were "roommates" to those who couldn't deal with it.
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post  Wed, Dec 25 2019, 11:40 pm
You guys are all so ridiculous.
Yes, it is rude and a little socially off, but no harm was meant. They probably figured that they were not the only people invited, but rather that OP is making a meal and having company and baking up a storm for the holidays and figured no harm in asking. They probably also figured that being OP is frum and Balabatish, that she whips up dessert like magic.
Regarding them being lesbian and grandmothers, how many theads do we have about DH is gay after 15 years of marriage. Same thing. They may only be together 5-10-15 years- responding to the person that said gay marriage is newer, it is a second marriage.
OP, I think the Ahavas Yisrael that you are showing them is beautiful. You should be an inspiration to all of us to reach out to our neighbors, coworkers, and not yet frum family and friends. May you continue to be a Kiddush Hashem. And in your merit, may it hasten the coming of Mashiach.
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