S/O lazy - who's with me?

amother

Wed, Dec 25 2019, 9:13 pm

I am not good at running a household. My brain can be quite organized, but I cannot physically organize anything. I don't know how to fold laundry well. I can't keep things straight. I have no patience to clean and keep house. It will take me half an hour to organize a drawer that someone else might get done in 5-10 minutes.

Who's with me?

amother

Bisque

Wed, Dec 25 2019, 9:28 pm

I was going to vote ok, managing. And then I realized that some people would not consider it managing. I am able to stay on top of the day to day stuff, but I have a hard time with the every once in a while things- organizing closets, getting rid of things we don't need, etc. A lot of it comes from living in a too-small space, which makes it so frustrating to try to organize when things just don't fit and we have such limited storage space. I'm a big believer in throwing things out but unfortunately no one else in my family will tolerate that, so... But yeah, I have no patience for it in general even though the clutter drives me mad. My dh does a LOT of the pesach cleaning because I find it so overwhelming and tedious that I procrastinate and he gets nervous that nothing is happening.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Dec 25 2019, 10:04 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Me too. I'm sort of managing because I moved into a very large house and there's tons of room. (Sometimes the house really IS big enough). I like organizing for pesach, but I hate the everyday things like picking things up and putting things away, figuring out where things go, I have a tendency to drop everything I pick up so I leave a trail behind me... So I guess it depends what your definition of managing is. I'm definitely embarrassed to bring my kid's friends over.

penguin

Wed, Dec 25 2019, 10:32 pm

I wonder how much is brain (executive function, ADD etc) and how much is influenced by culture (if you were raised Hungarian etc where you just feel compelled to have a 5 course dinner every night and beautiful linen closet shelves).

I organized my pantry beautifully for Pesach (well, ok, I think my help helped me a bit) but now it's desperately in need of a total redo, and I have no koach to climb on a chair so I will have to see if the help can fit it into her schedule....

amother

Sienna

Wed, Dec 25 2019, 11:33 pm

My house is a mess my rooms a mess with clothing everywhere
My dining room is filled with things once my mother in law saw the mess on the dining room table and asked sir caustically are u moving
My adult daughter came home and put in order our kitchen pantry and removed clothing from her old room
My garage is full of stuff my kids store

amother

Violet

Thu, Dec 26 2019, 12:25 am

penguin wrote:

I am so not a neat person by nature, but I grew up in the perfect Hungarian balabatish house and my 5 older sisters are all neat freaks... and so my house is always spic and span. Because even thought it will always be a chore to me that’s just the way a house is supposed to look.

amother

Teal

Thu, Dec 26 2019, 7:36 am

Ruchel wrote:

I do not hold it is about women. I am not good at it. That's all.

This is a good point. My DH doesn’t like a mess so he’ll make the beds in the morning. Wipe down the counters before going to work. And wash some dishes if he is talking to me in the kitchen. I don’t even notice a lot of it daily.
I agree he is a tzaddik - and grew up with an ocd mother. I once heard boys marry girls the opposite of their mothers strongest trait and then wish they had it...

amother

Lime

Thu, Dec 26 2019, 7:50 am

Betwenn baby #4 and baby #5 I had a good rhythm and everything was in decent shape. Visitors were shocked. I was happy and energetic.

Baby #5 is 4 months old now and I'm drowning. The laundry is clean and usually folded but not usually put away. The babies (I have 3 babies at home now) make messes faster than I can keep up.

I am trying really hard to just lower my standards for a few months and hope that I can find a way to restart my routine come pesach cleaning.

But G bless these babies. There isn't a single thing they don't get into.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Dec 26 2019, 8:16 am

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

I am a very neat person by nature. I struggle, though, because of how I was raised and my family's expectations. My parents lived in a mess and my mom was expected to be the housekeeper even though my dad didn't even do basic cleaning up after himself. Instead of teaching us kids how to do it, they would get frustrated if we didn't and my mom (I promise!) criticized me if I cleaned too well! Like my room was a soulless museum if I didn't leave enough stuff out.

DH was raised even more so that the mom is responsible for every bit of cleaning and even more so that the dad does nothing. And they had regular cleaning ladies so he expects that standard. B"H he does help, to his credit, but I do feel like the housekeeper and it's hard to get motivated when everyone including him throw everything wherever they feel like it. Giving up is not an option because my mom did that at one point and I didn't even want to be in our house let alone have a friend over. My dad and DH both want a Hungarian house but with the freedom to live like they have live-in cleaning help they don't respect. (Not that DH doesn't respect me, but in this area yes it's disrespectful to make a mess with the expectation that someone else will be cleaning it).

I would love a Hungarian house. I would also love the maid that comes with it, and oh boy would I help her. I have zero cleaning help. So for me, yes, I'm good at it, but it's a constant chore. Trying to kindly teach my kids to help is a job in and of itself but hopefully will pay off in the end.

thunderstorm

Thu, Dec 26 2019, 11:38 am

I have also noticed that the Hungarian people that I personally know that have houses that are spic and span, they rarely cook the types of meals I do . For example they’ll avoid cooking any foods that use a food processor, lots of pots and pans, extra utensils or kitchen gadgets. They’d rather everything be clean. So Hungarians have this name for being amazing cooks but I beg to differ. For them cleanliness and making things shine is priority. I’m sure there exceptions to this “rule” as is in every culture. The ones that cook amazing, don’t have that PERFECT looking house. It’s clean, but looks lived in more.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Dec 26 2019, 6:45 pm

My brain is very organized. I can write up a beautiful schedule and directions as to how to clean and organize every part of my home. It would be perfectly clear and color coded.
But to actually do it...that's another story!
I work full time and have a house full of kids ka"h and I just don't have the time. Also, I am not naturally fast so it would take me a really long time and I have no patience for it.
I work better with another person so I usually ask DH to help me organize the closets after every season.
I have cleaning help twice a week but I would really like to hire someone to fold and put away laundry as that would make a huge difference.

The people I know with neat houses either clean all day or have very few things.

oakandfig19

Thu, Dec 26 2019, 6:58 pm

As a BT from the west coast, I’d love to know more about what a Hungarian house looks like. Pretty sure I’ve been in them and have a general idea...but I’m curious to learn more. I voted for good at household management, but after reading this I have a feeling my counters don’t shine as much as others and my linens aren’t folded so neatly lol but I keep things put away