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Parental support and financial stability

 
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Poll

Parental Support and Financial Stability
Helps
 60%  [ 28 ]
Hinders
 39%  [ 18 ]
Total Votes : 46


amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 6:49 pm
Does parental financial support make it harder to be financially stable? Is it a well-meaning crutch of support?
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 6:52 pm
Not in my case. With my in laws help we were able to establish ourselves in our fields. But I have a feeling you're talking about the chassidish support system.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 6:54 pm
hodeez wrote:
Not in my case. With my in laws help we were able to establish ourselves in our fields. But I have a feeling you're talking about the chassidish support system.


Yes - monthly support type of thing.
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mirror




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 7:23 pm
I suggest you have a discussion with your dh about future employment options and possible training for a career.
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amother




Linen
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 7:27 pm
personally we plan to give our kids a lump sum and let them decide how they want to use it. They will be adults. We have started already talking to them about money even though they are still young. They understand that stuff costs money... I wouldn't recommend handing a clueless kid a large sum of money. I think parents need to educate their kids about finances.
Otherwise their kids are going to be in a very bad spot when they need to be self sufficient.
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 7:55 pm
I think it’s very individual. I’m chassidish and Bh got supported on a monthly basis.it allowed me the luxury of going back to school to get my degree.
It allowed my husband to open his own company which is not profitable right away but because we had the money he was able to do that.

Bh married now a few years and although we are very grateful and lucky that we are still supported we can bh now support ourselves. That alone is not so admirable, but we bh have potential to earn a lot more because we had the luxury to set ourselves up for success financially.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 8:16 pm
Yes, parental support helped me finish my degree too and I wouldn't have gotten the job that I have without it, and my husband the same.
Now we can both work and earn more because we got help in the beginning.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 8:20 pm
My parents give a lump sum but the catch is it may only be used for making a down payment.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 8:22 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
My parents give a lump sum but the catch is it may only be used for making a down payment.


That's a smart balance.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 8:28 pm
IMO it helps only if it goes to kids who are on their way to a career e.g. in school for something specific with a specific endpoint after which they can reasonably expect to get a job that allows them to support a family. Not if it has no endpoint and the kids are floating with no plan other than “learning for as long as possible and if it becomes necessary I’ll get a job.” Why get a job or even train for a job if the old folks are supporting you?
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Sun, Dec 29 2019, 8:34 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
IMO it helps only if it goes to kids who are on their way to a career e.g. in school for something specific with a specific endpoint after which they can reasonably expect to get a job that allows them to support a family. Not if it has no endpoint and the kids are floating with no plan other than “learning for as long as possible and if it becomes necessary I’ll get a job.” Why get a job or even train for a job if the old folks are supporting you?


A lot of parents are more than happy to support "learning for as long as possible", or more probably - X number of years, if it's at all financially feasible.

That said, my parents helped us out when we were in a tight spot even though we were not in kollel and had no foreseeable plan to get out, and it truly saved us. And, I was able to take some time off and get a great degree, which I would have been unable to do if we would not have had the background support.
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