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Forum
-> Vacation and Traveling
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amother
Bisque
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 Mon, Dec 30 2019, 6:24 pm
| amother [ Honeydew ] wrote: | Your husband was dead wrong in scheduling a vacation without consulting your schedule. Its downright selfish, basically telling you that you, and your work, have no real value.
In any case, makeup artists aren't fungible. Each has a particular look. So no, bringing someone else in isn't an option. Nor is not showing up.
I'll be blunt. If you cancelled on me because you decided you had something better to do (ie, go on a vacation), I would do everything in my power to ensure you never worked again. If I ever heard that you had a booking, I would be sure to tell them that you're unreliable, and will cancel with just a few days notice if you feel like doing something else. And I'd be sure that my friends did the same. And I'd alert the staff at shuls and wedding venues. Because no one should be subjected to what you plan to do. And I say this as someone who did her own makeup for her wedding.
Man up and tell your husband that you're busy this weekend, and he needs to reschedule. Or quit your job and stay home being a little doormat saying "yes dear, whatever you want." Because its egregiously wrong to cancel a service at the last minute for anything other than an emergency. |
Wow. What you are suggesting is far worse behavior than what OP is contemplating.
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amother
Honeydew
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 6:51 pm
| amother [ Bisque ] wrote: | | Wow. What you are suggesting is far worse behavior than what OP is contemplating. |
Really? Warning any potential customers that if something better comes off, she's liable to flake off and leave you high and dry?
How would you feel if your daughter hired her for a wedding, and I didn't tell you that she's utterly unreliable, and she bagged out on your daughter less than a week before the wedding.
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amother
Bisque
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 6:57 pm
| amother [ Honeydew ] wrote: | Really? Warning any potential customers that if something better comes off, she's liable to flake off and leave you high and dry?
How would you feel if your daughter hired her for a wedding, and I didn't tell you that she's utterly unreliable, and she bagged out on your daughter less than a week before the wedding. |
Really. First of all not "high and dry" - as in she wasn't contemplating just not showing up day of no notice - atleast thats not how I read it.
But if my daughter cancelled a week out on clients and I found out that one of these clients went out of her way to call shul staff to warn them against her - doing "everything in her power" to ensure she never worked again... THAT would make me feel FURIOUS.
But forget about how I would feel - its not the point. How you act is what matters.. the revenge you are suggesting is beyond.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 7:11 pm
OK problem is getting solved. I called my clients (it's for a bar mitzvah, and it's a lot of faces), and explained that something very last minute just came up. I offered them a list of backups (whom I previously spoke to and arranged) who will give them a trial (that I will pay for) plus a discount (again, I will pay). She was very sweet and understanding and agreed. A mother Gray- haha I'm cracking up! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it!
Amother Honeydew- WHOA.
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amother
Bisque
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 7:14 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | OK problem is getting solved. I called my clients (it's for a bar mitzvah, and it's a lot of faces), and explained that something very last minute just came up. I offered them a list of backups (whom I previously spoke to and arranged) who will give them a trial (that I will pay for) plus a discount (again, I will pay). She was very sweet and understanding and agreed. A mother Gray- haha I'm cracking up! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it!
Amother Honeydew- WHOA. |
Well handled OP.
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amother
Honeydew
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 7:24 pm
| amother [ Bisque ] wrote: | Really. First of all not "high and dry" - as in she wasn't contemplating just not showing up day of no notice - atleast thats not how I read it.
But if my daughter cancelled a week out on clients and I found out that one of these clients went out of her way to call shul staff to warn them against her - doing "everything in her power" to ensure she never worked again... THAT would make me feel FURIOUS.
But forget about how I would feel - its not the point. How you act is what matters.. the revenge you are suggesting is beyond. |
So not showing up to perform a personal service arranged for in advance is OK with you. Or sending someone else who might have a very different style.
But warning people that the person sometimes just decides not to honor her commitments because something better came up, well, that's fine.
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amother
Jetblack
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 7:28 pm
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I'm with amother honeydew. A professional doesn't cancel clients to go on vacation. I'd be furious and let others know that you're not reliable.
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amother
Bisque
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 7:35 pm
| amother [ Honeydew ] wrote: | So not showing up to perform a personal service arranged for in advance is OK with you. Or sending someone else who might have a very different style.
But warning people that the person sometimes just decides not to honor her commitments because something better came up, well, that's fine. |
No it is not fine to do everything in your power to ruin someone's career. Yes that is worse than flaking out on a client.
At NO point did I say flaking out on a client is OK.
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sub
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 7:40 pm
Chillax ladies. She made arrangements and the customer was ok with it.
OP- make sure that this is the only time and keep a large, huge schedule on the wall so dh knows when not to surprise you.
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amother
Maroon
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 8:21 pm
You worked it out well, OP.
Some of the comments were surprising to me. Some came across as extremely career-driven (No way can you cancel! What about your career/reputation?) Guess what? Other make-up artists do exist and a substitute can be arranged. Besides, even going makeup-less for a night would not be the end of the world. Shalom bayis, though, has a lot more eternal value.
I'm not saying that last-minute canceling is fine, I'm just saying that in this particular situation where the husband didn't know and planned something, in my humble opinion, your marriage comes before work.
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amother
Puce
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 8:29 pm
| amother [ Maroon ] wrote: | You worked it out well, OP.
Some of the comments were surprising to me. Some came across as extremely career-driven (No way can you cancel! What about your career/reputation?) Guess what? Other make-up artists do exist and a substitute can be arranged. Besides, even going makeup-less for a night would not be the end of the world. Shalom bayis, though, has a lot more eternal value. |
You clearly do not understand how much effort people put into finding a makeup artist that they like. Many people pore over Instagram, ask their friends, etc., especially for a wedding. That's one of the reasons that other posters asked.
Yes, OP worked it out very well B'H. Paying for a trial run was a very smart idea.
| amother [ Maroon ] wrote: | | I'm not saying that last-minute canceling is fine, I'm just saying that in this particular situation where the husband didn't know and planned something, in my humble opinion, your marriage comes before work. |
I disagree in this case. I'm glad OP worked it out.
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WhatFor
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 8:55 pm
| amother [ Maroon ] wrote: | You worked it out well, OP.
Some of the comments were surprising to me. Some came across as extremely career-driven (No way can you cancel! What about your career/reputation?) Guess what? Other make-up artists do exist and a substitute can be arranged. Besides, even going makeup-less for a night would not be the end of the world. Shalom bayis, though, has a lot more eternal value.
I'm not saying that last-minute canceling is fine, I'm just saying that in this particular situation where the husband didn't know and planned something, in my humble opinion, your marriage comes before work. |
Those responses are actually coming from the considerate people. "Career" isn't just sitting in a room collecting cash. "Career" in this case is making commitments to people who are relying on you. One shouldn't cancel on performing an important part of someone's simcha (a few days before no less) because they want to lay near a pool in the sun. It's inconsiderate to the people having the simcha.
As another honeydew pointed out, makeup artistry isn't fungible. I'm hoping the customers were as happy as OP says they were but it sounds like she didn't really give them a choice. She said "something came up" and it seems like she said she couldn't do it. She offered other options (which is the least she can do) but she's already taken from them the opportunity to pick someone who they truly want by committing to be there for them and then cancelling less than a week before. What if they don't like her replacement?
You talk about people who care about their clients and being reliable like it's a bad thing. The balei simcha spent money on a photographer, presumably, they want to look beautiful and be able to memorialize this day. It's a big day; in some communities there's months of planning involved. OP is making the executive decision to cancel on a relatively important part because she wants to go on vacation suddenly. It's inconsiderate.
You say going without makeup one night isn't terrible. I agree. If OP wants to go without makeup one night, it's her prerogative. But you don't commit to someone else that you'll do their makeup and then decide that they can do without.
If a vacation is so important to SB, they can both plan a time when they can take off and go on vacation. OP doesn't take any clients on that day. It's clearly not important enough for DH to actually plan a day off with his wife's commitments into consideration. What do you mean her DH didn't know? He doesn't know his wife works and has a job?
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amother
Maroon
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 8:59 pm
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I hear you. Being reliable is definitely important.
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shanie5
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 9:09 pm
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Not everyone goes crazy to find the perfect mua. Many of us will ask 1 or 2 people for a name and then call and hire them without a hesitation. Maybe the client wasn't so picky, and was fine with other options. I would have been.
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amother
Puce
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 9:34 pm
| shanie5 wrote: | | Not everyone goes crazy to find the perfect mua. Many of us will ask 1 or 2 people for a name and then call and hire them without a hesitation. Maybe the client wasn't so picky, and was fine with other options. I would have been. |
Again, OP didn't specify that it was for a bar mitzvah until her last post. People tend to choose much more carefully for a wedding, especially if she's doing the kallah's makeup.
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WhatFor
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 10:02 pm
| shanie5 wrote: | | Not everyone goes crazy to find the perfect mua. Many of us will ask 1 or 2 people for a name and then call and hire them without a hesitation. Maybe the client wasn't so picky, and was fine with other options. I would have been. |
I agree, and maybe I've even done that, but that's not the approach I would want my clients to take if I were a makeup artist. And if I actually cared and did my research, it's not the approach I'd want my mua to take.
Those who are truly good at the job or have a unique artistic approach are not easily replaceable.
There are two separate issues here: whether someone wants to succeed in their business (their own issue) and whether they're being considerate to five other people by breaking their commitment (not just their own issue).
I do hope the customers are happy and this truly all worked out. Doesn't change whether this was the ideal thing to do or not.
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cbsp
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 10:52 pm
| amother [ Honeydew ] wrote: | Really? Warning any potential customers that if something better comes off, she's liable to flake off and leave you high and dry?
How would you feel if your daughter hired her for a wedding, and I didn't tell you that she's utterly unreliable, and she bagged out on your daughter less than a week before the wedding. |
Really.
You'd be hard pressed to find a Rov who would agree that what you're suggesting is halachically muttar.
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shanie5
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Mon, Dec 30 2019, 11:08 pm
| amother [ Puce ] wrote: | | Again, OP didn't specify that it was for a bar mitzvah until her last post. People tend to choose much more carefully for a wedding, especially if she's doing the kallah's makeup. |
I never said I would do this only for a bar mitzvah. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Ideally, sending a substitute is not the best thing to do, but I think OP did the best possible thing for this scenario.
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sky
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Tue, Dec 31 2019, 12:26 am
Op I’m so happy it worked out!
I guess it also does depend on the client. Some ppl on here are so vindictive.
I honestly wouldn’t have minded at all if this was done to me by my bar mitzvah. Most ppl I know are not so obsessed with their makeup arrangements. They just want someone good and to their taste.
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