Your Awesome Self- Questions

amother

Mon, Dec 30 2019, 7:20 am

Hi,

Firstly, I'm wondering if there is a phone or online group that I could join.

Second, I started reading the book and am wondering how one figures out if a belief is coming from the yetzer hara or the yetzer hatov. Because of my dysfunctional childhood and the scary beliefs I grew up with about Hashem and religion, this gets very confusing and murky for me. How do I figure this out. I feel like so many concepts stem from religion and give me great fear. They are definitely not empowering, but this is the way we do it so I don't have a choice.

Any help would be appreciated thanks.

amother

Mon, Dec 30 2019, 7:57 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

Can you give an example of a belief that you are not sure about?
( I read her book)

sure. setting boundaries- I feel like that's not a Jewish concept. Because we learn chessed and do as much as you can for others. That whole thing ends up getting me into a whole lot of trouble because I end up having a very hard time saying no because of the guilt, and that leads me to ending up with a very large amount of resentment and anger at people who were in essence taking advantage of me.

also- people being angry at me or seeing what I have and if that leads to ayin hara and can cause me harm. (Read my freaked out mother thread)
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....77075

I feel like ayin hara is a religious concept that causes me a tremendous amount of anxiety and makes me feel that people who have caused me a tremendous amount of hurt still have power to harm me. I don't see how that's helpful- but again it's a religious belief

Also, yesterday I told my mom I wasn't able to accommodate her with something and she got upset. Is her inability to deal with things maturely and her upset my problem? I feel like my religious beliefs say yes.

So Torah beliefs cause me lots of anxiety and grief- from the way I was taught. But how do I know if they are in line with Hashem's reality or not??