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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 10:25 am
I've seen a lot of warnings and caution about making aliyah with teens. Has anyone made aliyah with teens and had a positive experience? My kids are all on board with moving (not now, maybe within the next 1-2 years), but I can't help but wonder how many families had teen who were happy to move, moved, and the teens ended up hating it?
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amother




Indigo
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 10:31 am
My friends made aliyah last summer. Oldest was 14 (going into 9th grade).
The kids were VERY on board. The whole family came on the pilot trip together and the kids got to visit many schools and choose which ones they wanted. The kids had been prepared for years that the parents wanted to make aliyah and because the parents involved them in all the planning, the kids were really really on board. A year and a half later they are doing REALLY well. Kids are all happy and well adjusted.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 10:40 am
I moved here as a teen with my family.
I wasn't on or off board. It was hard.
Everyone I know who had kids super on board and WANTED to move and were begging their parents to do so did really well though.

It's only when parents tell their teens "Hey in 6 months were moving, hope you are fine with it" do issues arise. If teens are interested and WANT to do it it actually usually works out.

It is rare though for children and teens to WANT to pick up their whole life.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 11:23 am
I know a family that made aliya the summer before the oldest was supposed to start his senior year of high school. He had some serious anger issues directed at his parents and really struggled
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 11:44 am
A family who had kids in school with me moved to E'Y.

Two months later, one teenage daughter was back in NYC and boarding to stay in her old school, and a teenage son was showing at-risk behaviors that had never been there before.
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amother




White
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 12:15 pm
I would love to make aliya, but my youngest is 10 so not before he finishes High School. My kids are not so excited about it and it would be hard to do. A number of our friends' kids have made aliya after college, and they plan to follow when the youngest is older.

An orthodox, JPF family we are close with moved in 2002, and aligned themselves dati leumi-lite. The youngest was 9, oldest 16. The parents dreamed of aliya since before they married and attempted once before when the kids were younger. The oldest child returned to finish high school in NY, stayed in NY with family for a few years, made aliya as an adult, married with toddlers. The other 3 kids, now adults, had difficulty in schools and acclimating to life in Israel. It was a very tough 10 years as they grew up. Today, they all live in Israel as adults, very Jewish affiliated, but not shomer shabbat. I think it is a success story because 3/4 kids have close relationships with the parents and no one ODed or got caught up in illegal activity.

Half my family has moved to Israel over the past 15 years. Those who have jumped into a particular "type" and committed to it did much better than those who kept a little of their "American style." It is very confusing for the kids and you need to really pick a side of the fence when you move. Chareidi life vs. Dati Leumi life is like being in 2 different countries.

The kids who struggle have a hard time with friends, being observant, and staying away from drugs and other poor life choices. As these kids grow up, it becomes easier for them, but their family relationships or health or life situations could be very damaged in the process.
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amother




Seafoam
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 1:55 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I've seen a lot of warnings and caution about making aliyah with teens. Has anyone made aliyah with teens and had a positive experience? My kids are all on board with moving (not now, maybe within the next 1-2 years), but I can't help but wonder how many families had teen who were happy to move, moved, and the teens ended up hating it?


My experience is it dependss upon the nature of each child. Individualists who are introverted and like to do their own thing seem to struggle more than extroverts who love going along with the group, and aren't set in their likes/dislikes. If your kids are the former, adjustment will be harder for them. Kids who take things as they come and do what the group does simply because that's what the group does and are great at fitting themselves in will do well here for the most part.
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gingertop




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 2:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I've seen a lot of warnings and caution about making aliyah with teens. Has anyone made aliyah with teens and had a positive experience? My kids are all on board with moving (not now, maybe within the next 1-2 years), but I can't help but wonder how many families had teen who were happy to move, moved, and the teens ended up hating it?


The warnings and caution are there for a reason. There have been a lot of failed aliya with teenagers. I've seen this firsthand although I do know a few who adjusted well.

It's a risky endeavor. It depends on the community you join. I actually think that in the case of coming with teenagers, you're best off joining a similar minded Anglo enclave. There will be enough adjustments, at least your children should have a language to share with friends and teachers and neighbors. Of course, having a really good Hebrew is essential even before aliya. But you don't need to set kids up for more hardship.

Do you have a city in mind? Are there schools there that match up well with the kind of values you want your teens to have? Are there enough Anglos in that community and school that your children will be able to have well-adjusted friends who they can comfortably converse with.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 2:42 pm
Also issues arrive with yeshivish people especially even if they are on board since the BY system in Israel is VERY different than in the USA. You and your teens need to be aware of that and find something they are comfortable with.

Some people just think it's just a change in language and in culture. It's like a entire different sect of Judaism here.
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amother




Blush
 

Post  Mon, Dec 30 2019, 6:11 pm
An Anglo enclave can help, but schooling is crucial.

An acquaintance of mine made aliyah with her family to an Anglo area when she was in junior high. She had gone to an out of town BY, a community type one. Her parents chose to enroll her and her sisters in an Israeli Bais Yaakov, much more rigid than their previous school. It did not go well. She and several siblings are no longer frum.

High school in general is difficult. If you are sending to a school where they do bagruyot they will need to catch up on Hebrew and then go straight to exams.
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