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How does any working mother manage IM COLLAPSING!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:03 pm
I need real ideas how manage better. I'm collapsing. I leave my house at 8:00 with my kids and come home at 4:30 with my kids. I work sunday to thursday. My kids are all little. By the time theyre all in bed at about 7:15 im ready to go to sleep but I need to clean up, do laundry, make supper for the next day which never happens....... How does everyone do it? I have no energy at nights
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I need real ideas how manage better. I'm collapsing. I leave my house at 8:00 with my kids and come home at 4:30 with my kids. I work sunday to thursday. My kids are all little. By the time theyre all in bed at about 7:15 im ready to go to sleep but I need to clean up, do laundry, make supper for the next day which never happens....... How does everyone do it? I have no energy at nights


Honestly? I think some people just have more energy..
I'm out of the house from 8-5:45.
I can't lift a finger by the time I'm done with bedtime.
Don't feel bad.
Not "everyone" does it.
It may just look like they do.
(I do tell people I can't and they don't believe me. Their like nah, your house is probably gleaming Surprised )
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imorethanamother




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:18 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I need real ideas how manage better. I'm collapsing. I leave my house at 8:00 with my kids and come home at 4:30 with my kids. I work sunday to thursday. My kids are all little. By the time theyre all in bed at about 7:15 im ready to go to sleep but I need to clean up, do laundry, make supper for the next day which never happens....... How does everyone do it? I have no energy at nights


1) Your kids are little

2) You sound like you don't have help.

That's why you can't do it. You're doing the work of three people. I have a full-time cleaning lady clean my house, and when I get home my kids can wait for an hour until dinner. I shop on Sundays for groceries for the week.

Any way you can get a cleaning woman to come help? That will save you.
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:18 pm
You need to devekp a system.

We do laundry on Saturday night.

I cook for the most part in sunday for the week (obviously with the exception of Shabbos)

It’s very hard but if you come up with a system (you will need your husbands help) it’s doable
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:19 pm
amother [ cornflower ] wrote:
Honestly? I think some people just have more energy..
I'm out of the house from 8-5:45.
I can't lift a finger by the time I'm done with bedtime.
Don't feel bad.
Not "everyone" does it.
It may just look like they do.
(I do tell people I can't and they don't believe me. Their like nah, your house is probably gleaming Surprised )


Before having kids I was a super high energy person. I guess thats one of the things I gave up for them
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amother




Natural
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:21 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I need real ideas how manage better. I'm collapsing. I leave my house at 8:00 with my kids and come home at 4:30 with my kids. I work sunday to thursday. My kids are all little. By the time theyre all in bed at about 7:15 im ready to go to sleep but I need to clean up, do laundry, make supper for the next day which never happens....... How does everyone do it? I have no energy at nights


Can you DH lend a hand in the evening hours or take over some of your responsibilities?
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:21 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Before having kids I was a super high energy person. I guess thats one of the things I gave up for them


Oh. Surprised
I wasn't Can't Believe It
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:21 pm
imorethanamother wrote:
1) Your kids are little

2) You sound like you don't have help.

That's why you can't do it. You're doing the work of three people. I have a full-time cleaning lady clean my house, and when I get home my kids can wait for an hour until dinner. I shop on Sundays for groceries for the week.

Any way you can get a cleaning woman to come help? That will save you.


Your'e right I do not have any help. I tried finding a high school girl to come every evening for an hour but so far haven,t found anyone. Right now I'm just sitting on my couch wasting time when I have so much to do but I literally cannot move
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:23 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
You need to devekp a system.

We do laundry on Saturday night.

I cook for the most part in sunday for the week (obviously with the exception of Shabbos)

It’s very hard but if you come up with a system (you will need your husbands help) it’s doable


I'm open to suggestions. I'm in Israel so sunday is a regular work day for me. I do have off on Friday but I have 2 kids home with me and my other kids come home at 12 on friday so its not that many hours to get things done.
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amother




Navy
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:24 pm
I used to be a full time working mom out of the house from 8:30 to 4 and once the kids were in bed I couldn’t either move so I took a break from 7:00 to 8:30 got 45 min of housework done and relaxed after I did wake up 45 min before the kids every day to prepare supper and throw in a load... but I did have cleaning help 8 hours a week. Now that I’m a stay at home mom I accomplish so much less !!!! Working women get much more done in my experience it is way harder tho so kudos to all of u!
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amother




Bronze
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:26 pm
I'm gonna write what I wrote on the similar post from last week:

COFFEE.

But also, is it possible to hire help (like a h.s. girl) for an hour after the kids go to sleep to help you? Thats what I do. Btw, go yooouuu that your kids are sleeping so early!!!

Make crockpot suppers to put up before work.

Make 1 pan suppers, so no clean up.

Budget 15 min a day dedicated to cleaning, and play music for those 15 min. Once the playlist is over, you are DONE, and will continue tomorrow.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:26 pm
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
Can you DH lend a hand in the evening hours or take over some of your responsibilities?


He is extremely busy during the day working and learning and he wakes up early so after supper he's done for the night. I think the only solution is to get outside help which we cannot really afford out I guess we can figure it out somehow. How do people that dont have outside help manage?
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HonesttoGod




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:30 pm
Ok prioritize and give up.

Prioritize important things each day.
And give up trying to do everything that’s impossible and will never happen.

Choose one day for laundry. So put a load in before work , and two / three loads in after.
The next day is folding day. Fold whilst supper cooks.
Choose one day a month to cook a ton of suppers for the freezer and every other meal is easy / simple.
Use paperware or wash dishes every other day. (Maybe your dh can do that whenever he gets home).
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amother




Natural
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
He is extremely busy during the day working and learning and he wakes up early so after supper he's done for the night. I think the only solution is to get outside help which we cannot really afford out I guess we can figure it out somehow. How do people that dont have outside help manage?


But both of you are done for the night after supper, not only him. So you both should be in this together. You need to discuss to see if there's any way you can afford help. If not, you need to discuss how you can split the evening work between you two, so you don't collapse.

This is a two-person burden, not one.
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TravelHearter




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:36 pm
Hi,
Hugs:)
Right now I’m a stay at home mom, but I have twin babies which take up a lot of my time. Here are some suggestions that may or may not work..
1. PAPERGOODS
2. Some people said do laundry once a week. Sometimes what I do is a different load every night, for example darks one night and delicates another etc. That means you’re constantly doing laundry but in small increments so it’s easier to handle and easier to push your self to do just one load.
3. Sounds gross, but I only sweep once a week- right before shabbos. I try to mop them as well... doesn’t always end up happening... (if the floor looks dirty I will but it doesn’t usually). And my husband does this usually while I’m doing last minute Friday stuff... maybe ask yours to do it when you’re done in the kitchen and are giving baths or whatever.
4. Take five minutes right before you go to sleep and or when you get up to declutter surfaces... just a few minutes really makes a difference and you’ll feel so much calmer. If my dining room table is a wreck but my counter is clear I still feel so good every time I walk into the kitchen (which is often!).
5. If you don’t find a girl for every day, or if you can’t afford a steady cleaning lady, maybe ask a neighboring girl and maybe even pay her a little to take your kids to the park once or twice a week so that you can clean up etc.
6. When you make dinner, cook double, so that you can freeze some.
Not sure if any of these are relevant, but hatzlacha!
Last but definitely not least don’t forget to talk to Hashem throughout the day... just ask for His help. You’re right near Him:)
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amother




Teal
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:41 pm
I have pretty much the same though I don't work on sunday so that is my laundry and organizing day.

What I'm trying to figure out is the only way to manage if you have a cleaning lady. I work all day so the only time a lady can come is in the evening and as much as I tried, no one wants to work past 4pm. so I am unable to have a cleaning lady. I don't live in an area that I feel comfortable leaving a lady alone or leaving my house unlocked during the day. is that what you all do in order to have help?? trying to figure it out because I'm desperate for cleaning help
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heidi




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:46 pm
OP, if you're in Israel and your kids are coming home at 4:30 they're getting a hot flaishig lunch most days.
Can you be Israeli and make soup and salad or omelettes for supper?
And cleaning help.
It's a must.
I'd honestly forego a meat meal once a week in favor of cleaning help if money is an issue
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dancingqueen




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:46 pm
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
But both of you are done for the night after supper, not only him. So you both should be in this together. You need to discuss to see if there's any way you can afford help. If not, you need to discuss how you can split the evening work between you two, so you don't collapse.

This is a two-person burden, not one.


Right, what she said. Or he might need to cut down his learning time for now so he can help more, if you can’t hire help now.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 1:50 pm
heidi wrote:
OP, if you're in Israel and your kids are coming home at 4:30 they're getting a hot flaishig lunch most days.
Can you be Israeli and make soup and salad or omelettes for supper?
And cleaning help.
It's a must.
I'd honestly forego a meat meal once a week in favor of cleaning help if money is an issue


Yes my kids are getting a hot meal for lunch so supper for them usually ends up being chicken nuggets and french fries, turkey sandwiches, egg muffins, frozen pizza...... but I do feel really bad about it. Me and dh though need a good hot filling supper.

The problem with cleaning help is also that I'm not home during the day and would not trust anyone to be in my apartment alone (even though there's nothing that valuable)

I would love to have a high school girl in the evenings but so far haven't found any
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rosezee




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 07 2020, 2:13 pm
1. Coffee. 1 in the morning & one midday to get me through when I come home

2. If it’s possible, have an understanding boss- if you live local enough where you can go home during the day for 45 min, throw on a load and whip up an easy dinner, or.. take a nap. I’ve done it.
It’s important to have a boss that understands a woman’s role as a mother, and perhaps he’ll be understanding to a day once a week where you can take off a couple hours to clean or do something your home needs.
Or.. take off Sunday if that’s possible.
You work an awful lot of days.
3. Hire some cleaning help. For something specific.
I have someone come just to do bathrooms, everything else I manage.
4. Wake up before the kids!! Hard but oh so important
5. Paper plates! (Not expensive either) use everything else as normal
6. Chores as an activity!!! I bribe my toddler to clean something and she gets a treat 😂 bribe your kids to help out
Give your toddler a spray bottle of organic cleaner and a towel and have her clean your kitchen cupboards 😂 do I sound like a bad mom? Hope not. She loves it.
7. Take time for yourself... really. You deserve it. You need it.
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