Home

How does any working mother manage IM COLLAPSING!
Previous  1, 2, 3
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Sara255




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 7:55 am
If you have a limited cleaning budget, you would be surprised how cheap the laundry services are. They pick up and drop off to your door. I did it once and it was around 250 shekel for tons of laundry, washed dried and folded, picked up and delivered. Maybe that would make the biggest impact.
Back to top

amother




Seagreen
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 7:56 am
I do laundry motzei shabbos. My little kids "help" me fold on Sunday or during the week (part of playtime) and I try to put away after they go to sleep, but it doesn't always happen. They also like to "help" me sweep (follow me around with a little dustpan and broom). My husband doesn't help that much with cleaning or cooking, so I do minimal/easy cooking or convenience foods--eggs, pasta, roasted or microwaved frozen veg, frozen food, big batch of soup on Sunday, etc.

I try to clean bathrooms motzei shabbos too if I can--just a quick wipedown of surfaces, clean toilet and sink. I don't clean the floor every time. I've learned to let some things go with cleaning--if I don't have help, not everything will get done. I agree with everyone else who says you either need help from DH, outside help, or to let some things slide. Since DH and I don't care if we have a super-clean house or simple dinners, we let some things slide.

My DH doesn't help much with cleaning--he'll help for pesach or if we're having guests, but not on a regular basis, and he also wants to be done when kids go to bed. He entertains kids while I clean up from dinner and he does bedtime. I try to make it so I don't do anything (or very little) after bedtime--if DH is done then, so am I. That means I take some shortcuts and my house isn't dust-free, but kitchen is always clean before I go to bed and bathrooms are clean enough.
Back to top

hesha




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 9:00 am
I didn't read all the replies, but cannot stress the importance of CLEANING HELP enough at this stage of life, with little kids. It will save your sanity. Somebody to fold some laundry, clean the house, maybe even chop a salad or soup. The difference is unbelievable. I hope you can find the funds, that's the tough part....
Back to top

amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 9:43 am
Can you get a seminary girls to come help you out? I like to cook and when I was in sem I went to somebody's house to help out. If the kids were interested, I kept them busy but if not I did some cooking while the mom spent time with the kids. Having even an hour of somebody to help cut veggies, prep foods for freezing, etc, can be a big help and can result in a few meals being much easier.

It does sound like you serve a lot of convenience foods, and maybe if you can find some less expensive replacements, you can afford a bit of help? Sending out laundry might mean you don't have to tolerate somebody in your house, but be a huge timesaver for you.

In general, try to cook once and eat twice. This cuts on shopping and prep time and gives you homemade food for multiple meals.

I would cook extra for Shabbos and rely on leftovers for at least a dinner or two during the week. Crockpot meals can also be very helpful and don't necessarily need lots of prep time.


Does your oven have a timer feature? Can you set it to turn on 45 minutes before you get home, and put in veggies so you have at least part of a meal cooked before you leave the house?

You can prep sandwiches for grilled cheese in advance, freeze individually, and then pop into oven or toaster. They'll cook in 10 minutes like this. You could potentially even leave them, frozen, in oven on timer as well.

You can prep stirfry in advance--cubes of chicken frozen, veggies frozen or in fridge. Defrost in fridge while at work, saute chicken for 5-10 minutes, add veggies and some kind of sauce (from a bottle or jar!) and cook 5 more minutes. Depending on how old your oldest child is, maybe you can delegate the stirring.

Roast a few whole chickens at once; remove the chicken from the bones, put into ziplocks with different sauces (teriyaki, sweet and sour, whatever) and freeze. Defrost in fridge overnight and warm up in 20 minutes or so when you get home. YOu could also freeze not in sauce; use the bones to make a crockpot soup with veggies and throw in some chicken right before serving.

Can you afford to buy a Roomba or something similar and have it do the floor while you're at work? Are your kids old enough to swiffer or wipe down the kitchen and bathroom counters? My kids loved to "spray and wipe" from them time they were very young, and they also liked putting socks on their hands and dusting. It can keep everybody busy for 5 minutes and make the house appear and smell clean very easily.


Do you have the $$ and storage space to buy more PJs, underwear, socks for the kids so you don't have to laundry as frequently?

You and DH are both overloaded and tired, and you should share the burdens at home. Nobody should be up for 2 hours doing housework after the other has gone to bed on a regular basis.
Back to top

Chaya123




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:41 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I need real ideas how manage better. I'm collapsing. I leave my house at 8:00 with my kids and come home at 4:30 with my kids. I work sunday to thursday. My kids are all little. By the time theyre all in bed at about 7:15 im ready to go to sleep but I need to clean up, do laundry, make supper for the next day which never happens....... How does everyone do it? I have no energy at nights


You need cleaning help, lots of it! Also to cut corners wherever possible like online orders, grocery delivery, and lower all expectations of yourself. Is Sunday a must? Perhaps you can cook suppers for the week on Motzei Shabbos? Or maybe cook all on Friday? Also, can you get a high school girl to help during supper time either as chesed or pay? This is what I used to do when kids were little. It's just not possible otherwise. A healthy rested mother is what comes first!
Back to top

busy mommy




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:47 am
I did not read through all the responses but here is what works for me: (I have five kids under seven and am out of my house m-f 7:40-4:45
1. wake up before my kids. even just fifteen minutes
2. papergoods only
3. work for twenty minutes (with a timer!) on any household chores
4. make a list of recurring weekly household chores and cross off as you do them (its a feel good method)
5. give your kids chores for example my 3 year old loves to sort laundry. I let him dump the hampers out and jump in it first and then since he loves color sorting he sorts. windex the table and counters for my five year old. my seven year old can choose to vacuum (we use a cordless dustbuster) or sweep the dinette area. the prize for doing your chores is you can participate when I do Sponja like mopping...pour water and soap on the floor and let them stand on towels and dry it off.
6. never make supper for just that night. meatballs for two nights, cleaning chicken on the bone then clean for two suppers, shnitzel for two suppers, potato kugel for two weeks, etc. This helps give you some days that you come home and start supper immediately and then have more time do a chores day
7. make a weekly menu even if you can't make it in advance it saves the agmas nefesh of deciding what to serve and you will defrost what you need in advance.
8. during really busy times (kid is sick etc.) don't fold laundry just put in correct drawers
9. have the correct cleaning supplies handy (clorox wipes in the bathroom, windex in the kitchen cabinet
Back to top

Chaya123




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:50 am
busy mommy wrote:
I did not read through all the responses but here is what works for me: (I have five kids under seven and am out of my house m-f 7:40-4:45
1. wake up before my kids. even just fifteen minutes
2. papergoods only
3. work for twenty minutes (with a timer!) on any household chores
4. make a list of recurring weekly household chores and cross off as you do them (its a feel good method)
5. give your kids chores for example my 3 year old loves to sort laundry. I let him dump the hampers out and jump in it first and then since he loves color sorting he sorts. windex the table and counters for my five year old. my seven year old can choose to vacuum (we use a cordless dustbuster) or sweep the dinette area. the prize for doing your chores is you can participate when I do Sponja like mopping...pour water and soap on the floor and let them stand on towels and dry it off.
6. never make supper for just that night. meatballs for two nights, cleaning chicken on the bone then clean for two suppers, shnitzel for two suppers, potato kugel for two weeks, etc. This helps give you some days that you come home and start supper immediately and then have more time do a chores day
7. make a weekly menu even if you can't make it in advance it saves the agmas nefesh of deciding what to serve and you will defrost what you need in advance.
8. during really busy times (kid is sick etc.) don't fold laundry just put in correct drawers
9. have the correct cleaning supplies handy (clorox wipes in the bathroom, windex in the kitchen cabinet


who can think of folding laundry? That's the first thing that goes! As long as everyone has clean clothing and knows where to find it.
Back to top

amother




Violet
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 11:02 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Your'e right I do not have any help. I tried finding a high school girl to come every evening for an hour but so far haven,t found anyone. Right now I'm just sitting on my couch wasting time when I have so much to do but I literally cannot move


OP, I feel like you're me. Had to check the date to see when this was posted to see if maybe I didnt remember posting this 🤣

No advice. Just know you're not alone....

Or maybe advice
1) I put laundry into different baskets, directly from dryer, so If I don't have time to put away at least its divided by person. Works if you have space.
2) throw out, throw our, throw out. I kept smart toys and throw out mess makers like puzzles. Unless your kids clean up after themselves. Mine dont.
3) new thing I started. 15-20 min of daily of family music time. Each kid chooses a song and while its playing we all race to clean up. 4 songs between my kids and husband and I. Of course, pick the longest song u know 😆
4) buy products that help cleaning. Swifter, kids will do. Robot vaccum. Etc. I justify bc its instead of help which I cant find.
5) just keep ur front room clean and let the rest of the house be a healthy messy home 😉 I wish I didnt have to but oh well until my energy returns
Back to top

amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 11:01 pm
my husband and I both work full time M-F and have little kids.

I am not managing either. It gets so hard and I have so much to do and never get it done.

I have 4 hours a week of cleaning help and we installed a second dishwasher so I don't spend time with dishes or cleaning. My husband usually does the laundry, grocery shopping, and bills.

I do the meal planning, grocery lists, cooking, straitening up, and most of the administrative running of the house like doctor visits, applying for camp, dealing with the teachers, sending in chanukah gifts, signing the permission slips, clearing out the backpacks, dealing with the broken appliance, taking the car to the mechanic, etc.

We both deal with baths, supper, and homework.

Its also hard cuz my husband learns early in the morning and in the evening and goes to shul 3 times a day. I wish sometimes he was home to help more but he does a lot and it means a lot to him to be able to do those things.
Back to top

amother




Purple
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 11:14 pm
Just closed the thread and came back to tell you all, you all sound like “superwomen”! May Hashem give you all koach and help and support in all ways. Wow!
Back to top
Previous  1, 2, 3 Recent Topics

Page 3 of 3 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management

Related Topics Replies Last Post
WORKING FROM HOME
by amother
0 Fri, Feb 21 2020, 2:41 pm View last post
Working in hotel over Pesach
by amother
6 Wed, Feb 12 2020, 10:27 pm View last post
Working... Need babysitter. 0 Wed, Feb 12 2020, 2:26 pm View last post
How many years are you working for your company
by amother
34 Fri, Feb 07 2020, 9:37 am View last post
Working for an MLM?
by amother
16 Thu, Feb 06 2020, 11:50 pm View last post

Jump to: