Do you think I was wrong or were they nasty?

amother

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:13 pm

I was sitting in a waiting room. Right near me there were 2 women sitting and shmoozing. I know these women because they live in my neighborhood. And I’ve interacted with one of them once or twice.
I was kind of bored and had nothing to do. I heard them discussing a particular item that they want to purchase and it seemed that they were still undecided if they should purchase it. I’ve recently purchased that item and I am extremely unhappy with it so I figured I’ll chime in and tell them my experience. They gave me such a nasty look for “mixing” in and they turned away from me. I felt so stupid. All I wanted was to be helpful.
Was I wrong?

singleagain

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:16 pm

I don't think your intentions are wrong. I wonder if there was something in your tone and or body language that was misinterpreted.

I find I have the most delightful conversations with strangers bc I've overheard something and felt compelled to speak up

amother

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:20 pm

singleagain wrote:

Believe me, my tone and body language were ok. I’m by nature a very friendly person and
just like you said- I’ve had pleasant conversations with strangers in the past.

thunderstorm

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Believe me, my tone and body language were ok. I’m by nature a very friendly person and
just like you said- I’ve had pleasant conversations with strangers in the past.

I would’ve done the same as you. However sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be involved in other people’s conversations if I wasn’t asked. But it’s my nature to help and I tend to do that. I don’t think you are wrong for wanting to help. But I’ve thought about it myself and always wondered if it’s considered a breach of boundaries.

amother

Pearl

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:24 pm

Same thing happened to me at a kiddush around 10 years ago. The room was very crowded and 2 women right next to me were discussing something I was familiar with. 8 chimed in and one of them gave me this incredulous look as if to say, "we weren't talking to you". I felt stupid and embarrassed. Whenever I see this woman in the neighborhood I still think back to that incident even though it was so long ago.

singleagain

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:24 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Believe me, my tone and body language were ok. I’m by nature a very friendly person and
just like you said- I’ve had pleasant conversations with strangers in the past.

Then I don't think you did anything wrong.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:33 pm

Perhaps if you asked permission to join in, your input would have been appreciated. I overheard you discussing item X, mind if I put in my 2 cents?

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:38 pm

Ok maybe I’m the odd one here but I disagree...
I actually would find it rude if someone was eves-dropping in on my conversation with a friend.
And I actually find it rude when people give me unsolicited advice...

ETA: but their reaction was still rude!
I wouldn’t have reacted in such a nasty way. So yes they were rude but also.. you shouldn’t have done that either.

lilies

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:43 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

Perhaps if you asked permission to join in, your input would have been appreciated. I overheard you discussing item X, mind if I put in my 2 cents?

That would probably result in a nasty look too. She is interrupting their very important conversation. Public conversation too. If I'm undecided about something and discussing it in public I would appreciate any help from those next to me. Please don't doubt yourself and hesitate to do so again.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:44 pm

lilies wrote:

Really??
Why was it a public conversation?
They were sitting together talking amongst themselves...

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:45 pm

I think a big percentage of ppl go through this and then no wonder why social anxiety is so common these days . I have this . I join a certain class twice a week and their comes these group of women , I dont wanna call them snobs , but ... I try to fit in or sit around with them but somehow I dont feel like a number , I dont feel like I count , when I talk no one is there to hear me .. I go home feeling horrible. I know its not the same what u just described u had , but ppl can be rude sometimes . I never had such social anxiety the way I have it now. I feel horrible. I only feel comfortable with old friends or family. Im literally afraid of ppl .

amother

Indigo

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:45 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

If you're talking in a waiting room, people hear your conversations. They are often bored and have nothing better to do. Not only that, the OP knew the women, at least somewhat. I don't think it's rude at all.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:47 pm

Op-you and I can be friends.
I would have wanted to do the same thing because I would appreciate someone else's advice and experience. I am also friendly and happy to talk to strangers.
I know better at this point in my life because I have been burned like that too many times. It is a shame that my instinct at the at this point in life is rather than being friendly and helpful is to shut my mouth and ignore people.
But if you offered me advice, I would be very appreciative, engage you in a lengthy conversation and we would probably leave the waiting room as new best friends.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:49 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

I’d never chime in like that to a conversation two people are having.
I’d feel so uncomfortable doing so and rude.
I don’t think that just because it’s a waiting room means it’s a conversation OPEN to the public and their opinions.
Maybe it’s not so private but so? Doesn’t mean it’s an open invitation to everyone else there.
So when you go up to the receptionist and talk to them about medication or such , someone can chime in too?
No sorry.
Mind your own business.
Not saying their reaction was ok at all. But I still don’t think it’s something people should feel entitled to do.
Sorry. Just don’t.

amother

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:50 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Really??
Why was it a public conversation?
They were sitting together talking amongst themselves...

Because they were sitting right next to me. And talking on a regular tone voice. They weren’t trying to whisper. Had they spoken in whispers I would assume it’s something private. And I would probably not even hear or intend to hear.
It’s the way they were talking that caught my attention in the first place.

amother

Tue, Jan 07 2020, 4:52 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

So when is your next appointment? Lol