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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty -> Sheitels & Tichels
What should I do?..



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 7:57 pm
I'm married, and conflicted about how to cover my hair.
My family is pro tichel only.
My in laws are pro wig only.
My husband just wants me to be happy, but I want to do the right thing.
I wear a tichel now, bc I feel uncomfortable covering my hair with better looking hair..


Last edited by amother on Wed, Jan 29 2020, 10:05 pm; edited 2 times in total
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 8:06 pm
IvriAnochi wrote:
I'm married, and conflicted about how to cover my hair.
My family is pro tichel only.
My in laws are pro wig only.
My husband just wants me to be happy, but I want to do the right thing.
SHOULD I COVER MY HAIR WITH TICHEL OR A WIG? HELP! WHAT DOES HASHEM WANT ME TO WEAR?!?!

Keep your eye on the Ikur. The priority is to cover your hair. Do whatever feels good to you, so that you'll be able to cover with simcha. Maybe one way feels good for you now and at another point another way will feel better for you. Remember that it doesn't matter how you cover. That is the Tafel.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 8:13 pm
You can cover your hair the way you like as long as it's halachicaly ok.
How come you didn't decide this before you got married?
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Frumwithallergies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 8:16 pm
Why can't you do both? Tichels some days, sheitel others (no need to break the bank). The importance is in covering. Play around with the options and see what you feel most comfortable.
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 8:16 pm
How are you covering while you decide?
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icebreaker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 8:23 pm
Cover however you want! Wear a bunch of different options and decide which one(s) you like best.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 8:33 pm
tznius wise- I think if your hair will be visible when wearing a tichel (like happens soo often), you might as well wear a sheitel...
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 9:11 pm
Frumwithallergies wrote:
Why can't you do both? Tichels some days, sheitel others (no need to break the bank). The importance is in covering. Play around with the options and see what you feel most comfortable.


Yes! Do this! Get a little of each option and do what feels right each day.
And if you really want to please your family wear what they like when you see them.

Really this is such a personal thing. So you get to do what you want when you want.
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 9:14 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
tznius wise- I think if your hair will be visible when wearing a tichel (like happens soo often), you might as well wear a sheitel...


And so doth a thread derail..
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Frumwithallergies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 9:20 pm
lilies wrote:
And so doth a thread derail..


You look the words right outta my mouth!
FTR, when I cover with a tichel, nothing sticks out.
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Flip Flops




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 07 2020, 9:25 pm
avrahamama wrote:
Yes! Do this! Get a little of each option and do what feels right each day.
And if you really want to please your family wear what they like when you see them.

Really this is such a personal thing. So you get to do what you want when you want.


Couldn't agree with this more. You can do both! You don't have to choose one way. Let people get used to seeing you in both, and when you hang out with certain people, you can wear what is more acceptable in their circles.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 08 2020, 1:53 am
IvriAnochi wrote:
I'm married, and conflicted about how to cover my hair.
My family is pro tichel only.
My in laws are pro wig only.
My husband just wants me to be happy, but I want to do the right thing.
I wear a tichel now, bc I feel uncomfortable covering my hair with better looking hair..

The right thing is to cover your hair. Period. Unless you strictly follow certain community norms or a specific posek (eg: Chabad generally holds that a shaitel is preferable)
What your in laws or parents feel should have no bearing on your choice of head covering.
YOU have to feel comfortable with what is on your head.
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 08 2020, 1:56 am
No one has a right to dictate what you cover with. My family was very against me wearing a tichel, didn't stop me. You do tznius you Smile
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rivkam




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 08 2020, 4:55 am
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
tznius wise- I think if your hair will be visible when wearing a tichel (like happens soo often), you might as well wear a sheitel...


That's your opinion but many sephardi poskim will disagree with you. Anyway if a woman wants to not show any hair, nowadays it's very easy to do with the volumisers and hair bands which make sure the scarf doesn't move.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Jan 08 2020, 9:36 am
I like to wear a tichel as much as possible, but personally I wear a wig for work and other occasions-I feel more professional in it. I would consider getting one wig and trying it out if you want to. But really this is something between you and dh and whatever you're both happy with, do, never mind the rest of the world.
My friend is litvish but she married sefardi. She boughts wigs before she got married, and found out after the wedding that he prefers her to wear scarves. So she pretty much only wears scarves now (and says it's sooo much more comfortable anyway). She still uses her wigs on occasion, like chasunas etc she will usually wear a wig.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 08 2020, 1:10 pm
I do a tichel every day, and save my sheitel for smachot where it is expected.

My rule about hair covering is, wear whatever covers the most - without giving you a massive migraine. Everything else is commentary.
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 08 2020, 1:49 pm
Oh and can I just add. God BLESS your husband who just wants you to be happy keeping this mitzvah. BH you should have tremendous Shalom Bayit and make each other happy always.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Wed, Jan 08 2020, 2:14 pm
avrahamama wrote:
Oh and can I just add. God BLESS your husband who just wants you to be happy keeping this mitzvah. BH you should have tremendous Shalom Bayit and make each other happy always.


This!

I also say you could do both, if you are comfortable with it. I do both:)
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