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Would you allow dd 13 years old to have WhatsApp?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:05 am
My daughter has a filtered phone, no internet.... she wants WhatsApp, I am uncomfortable with it, I feel like regular texting ( even tho I don’t love ) is not that same. Thoughts??
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:08 am
Besides for the stories function I don’t see how it’s different. You can even have it blocked so she can’t receive pics and videos.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:09 am
I agree. I think it opens access to a lot more than you think. Anyone can get through to her and her to anyone.

She can join any type of crazy group. And people can send all sorts of crazy content.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:10 am
Zehava wrote:
Besides for the stories function I don’t see how it’s different. You can even have it blocked so she can’t receive pics and videos.


Oh yeah? Can you also make your acct private so only people on your contact list can add you to groups?
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:10 am
avrahamama wrote:
I agree. I think it opens access to a lot more than you think. Anyone can get through to her and her to anyone.

She can join any type of crazy group. And people can send all sorts of crazy content.

All of these are possible with text
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:10 am
No unless I'm constantly checking.
My dd has a group, but the kids take the parents phone so it's all visible
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happyone




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:11 am
I personally would'nt let my 13 year old have their own phone. period.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:12 am
avrahamama wrote:
Oh yeah? Can you also make your acct private so only people on your contact list can add you to groups?

I’m not sure... though with text random people can also add you to groups. It may be possible to block the group thing altogether I’m not sure. There are so many filter options these days.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:12 am
happyone wrote:
I personally would'nt let my 13 year old have their own phone. period.

If anything it would be a kosher phone without text. Basically like a portable landline.
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Amelia Bedelia




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:14 am
Absolutely not
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clowny




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:14 am
I wouldn’t allow my 13 year old to have a phone to begin with.
A smart phone definitely not.
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simba




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:17 am
Watsapp is a form of social media. Decide if you are ready to go there.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:20 am
avrahamama wrote:
I agree. I think it opens access to a lot more than you think. Anyone can get through to her and her to anyone.

She can join any type of crazy group. And people can send all sorts of crazy content.
thi is all possible with text messages as well. All one needs is a phone NUMBER and anyone can send anything as well.
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:23 am
I really wouldn’t let at this age.
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amother




Rose
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:32 am
It all depends on her circles.
My 13 yr old dd has whatsapp. She is in a dati leumi school in Israel.
If she didnt have whatsapp, she would miss a lot of important messages from her school and her teacher.
She wouldnt know when and where her youth group is meeting.
She really does need it for her school and social life. She was without a phone for a couple of months, and missed some important things. Everything here is announced on whatsapp.
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Madam F.




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 11:48 am
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
It all depends on her circles.
My 13 yr old dd has whatsapp. She is in a dati leumi school in Israel.
If she didnt have whatsapp, she would miss a lot of important messages from her school and her teacher.
She wouldnt know when and where her youth group is meeting.
She really does need it for her school and social life. She was without a phone for a couple of months, and missed some important things. Everything here is announced on whatsapp.


Does every single girl have her own smartphone with whatsapp?? Can't it be through your phone? If you have one.
I might be clueless to the norms of your circles but it sounds so unfair to the parents and why does a 13 year old have to have one?? Does the school impose this or it just happens?
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 11:53 am
Madam F. wrote:
Does every single girl have her own smartphone with whatsapp?? Can't it be through your phone? If you have one.
I might be clueless to the norms of your circles but it sounds so unfair to the parents and why does a 13 year old have to have one?? Does the school impose this or it just happens?
No, it is not required. For the girls/boys who do not have cell phones the parents have the groups on their phones (thats what we did until I couldnt take it anymore and got my daughter a phone - that was just one reason).

ANd I say its unfair to have the kids be on their parents phone all night on different groups. Let them have their own.


Different strokes for different folks.
My daughter also babysits and not everyone has home phones anymore, so we got get a cell in case the home where she is babysitting has no phone. It was a safety issue for me.
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Madam F.




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 12:09 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote:
No, it is not required. For the girls/boys who do not have cell phones the parents have the groups on their phones (thats what we did until I couldnt take it anymore and got my daughter a phone - that was just one reason).

ANd I say its unfair to have the kids be on their parents phone all night on different groups. Let them have their own.


Different strokes for different folks.
My daughter also babysits and not everyone has home phones anymore, so we got get a cell in case the home where she is babysitting has no phone. It was a safety issue for me.


The parents phone can have just the important chats not the 'social' ones.

Kids should not be on groups all night!

And simple phone for talk and text is also enough for safety and to have as another line. I dont either have a landline we have a extra flip phone for that or babysitting etc.
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chipmunks




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 12:34 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My daughter has a filtered phone, no internet.... she wants WhatsApp, I am uncomfortable with it, I feel like regular texting ( even tho I don’t love ) is not that same. Thoughts??


No, no, no, a million times no.

First, what she has seems like plenty for her needs. Second, you're uncomfortable. You know your daughter and your family's standards and every other applicable variable way more than we do. If you're uncomfortable, there are reasons whether you're clear on what they are or not.

Plus if you stand firm now you're good. If you get it for her it will be a whole lot harder to take it away if you see it's problematic.
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amother




Rose
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 12:46 pm
Madam F. wrote:
Does every single girl have her own smartphone with whatsapp?? Can't it be through your phone? If you have one.
I might be clueless to the norms of your circles but it sounds so unfair to the parents and why does a 13 year old have to have one?? Does the school impose this or it just happens?


Yes, every single girl in the class has her own smartphone and whatsapp.
I'm a high school teacher and every single one of my pupils has one. We have a class group.

It's not that the school 'demands' this of the parents. It's not some unfair demand the school imposes. The kids all come with phones, and the school then uses that for communication. Whatsapp is simply the most efficient form of group communication.

(One thing that I LOVE about my girls' school is that they have a no-phone-out during school hours rule. No exceptions. It's great. I've taught at many schools that don't have that rule, and the kids sit like zombies with their phones during the break.)

As for the suggestion that my kids use my phone - no. That wouldn't work at all. My phone is private and off limits. I have many private conversations there with friends and family members, and I wouldn't want my kids using the same whatsapp. Even if I erased every single conversation every single time, someone could write something private at the very moment my child is with my phone.
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