The Painful Rejections of Lakewood Schools

ectomorph

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 12:55 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

OR SO THEY SAY.....
A few $ magically creates more spots

Not true... I know people with money who were rejected. Even people who offered money.

Perhaps sometimes it does but sometimes family works. Sometimes neighbors who vouch for you. There's no perfect system.

But by and large, rejection from swamped Jewish schools is not personal. If you get rejected from the community school in Alaska or Puerto Rico etc, maybe then its personal. In Lakewood it's not.

Mommyg8

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 12:55 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

OR SO THEY SAY.....
A few $ magically creates more spots

You know you can't have it both ways.

Southern Bubby says that those who pay should have a say as to who gets accepted. She's right.

The schools are a business. They need money to run, to pay their mortgage, the teachers, the heat, etc.

Everyone wants cheap tuition. Everyone wants unlimited spaces. This is not an economic possibility.

ETA: I'm not saying that that's what they do, I have no idea what their criteria is. But if they WOULD choose by who gives them money, that may not be such a bad idea...

amother

Tan

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 3:52 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Me too. I know someone - wonderful frum ppl who made large donations to the school they wanted from the time their daughter was born. They didn’t get in.

My sons school grabs learning yeshivish ppl. Because most are working. Money doesn’t help.

Btw contrary to what ppl are saying out of town schools don’t accept everyone.
I know someone from Lakewood that moved to a small town in Florida assuming her kids would just get in. They didn’t accept everyone. There were no other choices. She was shocked. She had always assumed schools not accepting everyone was a problem in Lakewood alone.

amother

Sienna

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 6:58 am

Learning wrote:

Isn’t there a big rabbi in Lakewood who steps in to help these unfortunate families? Use donors money to open a school that will accept good normal frum families that need a school

I doubt "Lakewood" has one big Rabbi. And donors money to open 1 school won't help anything since it's all different types that are being rejected. From chassidish to litvish to yeshivish.

Yes in an ideal world we would have 1 school for all stripes and types. Halevai.
But reality isn't like that.

B"h I don't struggle with this issue. We sent to a new cheder that's our type and couldn't be happier.

But I know people that just sent wherever they were accepted (before my childrens school opened) and their child just did not fit in and wasn't happy (think chassidish child in a litvish cheder, todays day it doesn't work, the child was being bullied).

No idea what the solution is!

I think if schools had all different types of families (working, learning, chassidish, yeshivish, litvish, jpf) things would be easier but you can't change the world. This is how it is today.

amother

Brown

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 8:36 am

I WANT TO BRING UP A CONCEPT FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED THE PAIN OF REJECTION:

There are many many donors that are causing the upkeep of our schools. They are quiet heroes. In many ways they would get more kavod building Kolels, Bais medrash, or beautiful shuls.

But they are zoche to see that educating our young boys and girls is the yesod of Yiddishkeit.(I might be wrong, but I wish some potential donors (I am not referring money earmarked to divorcees, widows, bonei olam, tomchie shabos etc) would rethink their pet projects and realize that our tinokoas shel bais rabon is most important.

(In our chasidish school system (boys and girls), there is a daily parnas hayom, a monthly parnas hachodesh.
donating is voluntary and non-stop. Obviously this works for the dynamics of a chasidish group. but the drilling and inculcating in the people that this is foremost has
changed people's mindset. Some have given up a vacation, new clothing etc. just to participate atleast once a year.
A girls school, a boys school is mesirus nefesh and rests on everyone of us.
(anybody paying tuition with mesiras nefesh, please disregard this post.)
(Anybody who this does not apply to you, and is in deep pain from school rejection please disregard this post.)
(Anybody who has children in school and cannot pay tuition, please disregard this post)

amother

Tan

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 8:44 am

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

I haven’t gone on vacation in years. I haven’t flown in a plane in 14 years. What new clothing?. I give 1000s of dollars to my kids schools over tuition. I don’t believe existing schools could survive unless ppl support them. I can’t afford to support a new school I live in a small house and give up so much to pay close to 30 k I in tuition. And 3kin donations from maaser. Where should I get more $$$ And yet I am bad because I live in Lakewood and I’m not opening schools to accommodate those buying 800k home while I live in my tiny home. Who are you preaching too? Most regular ppl in Lakewood are strapped for cash. Most ppl are barely making it.

And chassidish schools work that way because there is a system and a rebbe. It doesn’t exist. There is no big rebbe as a previuoys poster said.

Rabbi rechnitz from LA recently gave a large donation to a school to keep it open and it still closed down due to lack of funds. Unless there is dedicated family support and board a school will not stay open or successfully regardless on the money given to it.

Zehava

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 9:08 am

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

Chassidish school tuition is a joke. Most of their funding comes from the government and from the many wealthy donors they have due to the men actually working and making money.
Satmar even had enough money to raise millions for israeli institutions.

amother

Black

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 9:52 am

Zehava wrote:

In Lakewood that is not the case. I have a daughter and a son in chassidish schools here, we pay equal tuition to the litvish schools.

The difference is, as the previous poster said, in the chassidish schools there are donors who put the school above all else, myself included. My daughter is in a heimish school that’s not affiliated with any chassidus and they are always strapped for cash, in crisis mode.

My son’s school is affiliated with a chassidus and it’s a different world. The parent body is identical between the two, but the administrator is ten times more skilled at navigating grants and funding - nothing illegal, he just knows how to get what they are entitled to. I know because he is completely transparent about his books - he will not ask for money without giving a breakdown of exactly where it’s going. There is no owner, everyone involved is on salary. But the Rebbe has made schools in Lakewood a priority and people in the chassidus give, whether they live in Lakewood or not. Believe me I’m not rich, but my Chanukah bonus from work went to the yeshiva rather than a new shaitel that I really need.

naturalmom5

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 11:33 am

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

I know that you don't want to hear this but something has to give.
First a majority of people in a Lakewood / yeshivish community gets an extremely sub-par abysmal education, then they are anti-college , then many are in collel for way too long ( I am talking about those who have no intention of going into chinuch or horaah)
Then everyone is crying I have no money, boo hoo hoo..

Something has to give..
I was saying this 30 years ago and 20 years ago and no one wanted to listen..
Everyone has all the answers until they don't...

naturalmom5

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 11:37 am

amother [ Black ] wrote:

This is how it should be for all schools

Thanks for posting..

This is one bright light Very Happy

in a very bleak ugly thread

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 11:43 am

naturalmom5 wrote:

It’s the minority in Lakewood now that learn long term. It’s much more common to learn for a few years then work.
My daughter is in a newer school , most parents under 35, and less than 10% are learning full time. It’s a mainstream school, not considered modern or cool.

amother

Tan

Mon, Jan 13 2020, 12:27 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

I’m college educated. DH was working when got married. Life for whatever reason for us is very expensive without extras. We make it a priority to give to our kids schools. We aren’t rich.
I’m not sure how this is related to kollel.
In today’s day and age many working families struggle between health care costs, tuition and other expenses. Especially if they get no benefits.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Jan 14 2020, 7:01 am

southernbubby wrote:

The article about the illegal basement tenants appeared in my news feed and l scrolled down to find the article about the rejected child. What's in it for RUOC? I thought that they were an Anti-frum hate group. Why would they care about that kid?

They just want an opportunity to blast the Va’ad. Take a look at their Facebook page. Openly calling “the hasidics “ cockroaches and that’s the best of it.