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Were any of you or your kids ever kidnapped?
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Chaya123




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 12:19 pm
Mama Bear wrote:
The driver didnt end the trip immediately, he still traveled for half a block before ending the trip. and after a trip you cant contact the driver anymore! So my imagination went into overdrive. All day long.

I called his school multiple times and no one picked up.

Indeed from now on I'm gonna make sure he has a quarter to call me from a public phone when he gets to yeshiva, and/or rather send him with a taxi service that does have a dispatcher so that if my nerves get the best of me I can call the dispatcher to double check that he was dropped off.

Once he called me that he wasnt feeling well & I sent a local car service, but until I didnt see him safely at home I was panicking that maybe he went into the wrong car?

It was nuts. I need to work on my anxiety.


Oh please, that's not anxiety, that's normal responsible parents' behavior/reactions. Personally, I wouldn't trust anyone to drive my kids, only a frum woman whom I know or a family member. If need to go with uber, I always go along. Ch'v I wouldn't let them in an Uber or even frum car service for one minute alone.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 12:21 pm
For safety reasons, in this day and age, everyone should have a cell phone.
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 12:23 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
I hope you also told your kids they should have run away and not answered any
questions. The kids did not follow the safety rules. This is hard for kids because we also teach them to have derech eretz and do chessed but safety first.


Sure my kids know not to answer. I wrote in my post that they walked away. They didn't answer any questions.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 12:27 pm
My friend in camp was from mexico, from a wealthy family. She had a bodyguard escort her from camp to her house because many people in her community had issues with kidnapping/ransom.

It happens. It's rare(ish) but also very dependant on where you live. Less common in USA. Supervise you kids. All the time. No matter if you live in a frum neighborhood.

I remember the hospital telling me not to put signs in my door after I have a new baby for kidnapping reasons. Before kids can talk is even more vulnerable.
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 12:30 pm
In Mexico and Brazil kidnappings are common. Many families have body guards.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 12:33 pm
amother [ Blonde ] wrote:
Sure my kids know not to answer. I wrote in my post that they walked away. They didn't answer any questions.


You wrote that your kids pointed to a neighbor's house - that is answering. And that your kids WALKED away. They should be instructed to RUN away.
Better safe than sorry.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 12:38 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
My friend in camp was from mexico, from a wealthy family. She had a bodyguard escort her from camp to her house because many people in her community had issues with kidnapping/ransom.

It happens. It's rare(ish) but also very dependant on where you live. Less common in USA. Supervise you kids. All the time. No matter if you live in a frum neighborhood.

I remember the hospital telling me not to put signs in my door after I have a new baby for kidnapping reasons. Before kids can talk is even more vulnerable.


So you would not let your 10 y.o. join his/her friends playing outside in front of their homes? That is also not safe. Children need to play outdoors and parents are not always available to supervise. And it is not really necessary. Stranger kidnapping are very rare and if your child is properly taught safety the danger is
nil.

Do you let your child ride in car? Far more DANGEROUS than playing outside unsupervised. Thousands of children die every year in car accidents and over One Hundred Thousand are injured. So if you let your children ride in a car you can let your children play outside unsupervised.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 1:07 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
So you would not let your 10 y.o. join his/her friends playing outside in front of their homes? That is also not safe. Children need to play outdoors and parents are not always available to supervise. And it is not really necessary. Stranger kidnapping are very rare and if your child is properly taught safety the danger is
nil.

Do you let your child ride in car? Far more DANGEROUS than playing outside unsupervised. Thousands of children die every year in car accidents and over One Hundred Thousand are injured. So if you let your children ride in a car you can let your children play outside unsupervised.


Thanks for being a voice of reason here.

Also, more kids are killed crossing the parking lot, often while holding the parent or sibling's hand, than are killed by being left in the car for 15 minutes. (I'm talking about kids who know how to open the door, not infants, obviously.)

There is this thing called "worst first thinking". People who tend to catastrophize think that every body of water is infested with man eating sharks. Do you know how many people were killed in the past 15 years by sharks?

Eleven. That's right, only 11 people. Mostly it was because they were ignoring the "Beware of Sharks" signs, so they could get to the best surfing waves.

I can understand wanting to microchip your kids, and keep them on a leash until they go under the chuppah. I understand thinking that it's better to pay for a lifetime of therapy for them, than to have something CVS happen to them. I just don't think that you're kids will thank you for it in the end. Your kids will either rebel completely, or grow up to be nervous wrecks as well.

If you are making yourself physically ill with worry, this goes WAY beyond an issue of emunah. You can be concerned about safety without causing yourself non stop emotional distress. It's not healthy or normal. This requires serious therapy, and possibly medication.

I have to wonder how our parents and grandparents survived without computers and cell phones. I don't think that having modern technology has really reduced the crime rate by much. The only thing that reduces crime significantly is education, awareness of your surroundings, and taking reasonable precautions.
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 1:24 pm
Op just curios if you read this week’s Ami.
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amother




Denim
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 3:58 pm
Never was at risk of that to my knowledge, but 2 incidents that took place in my youth:

As a young, clueless teen, I was walking on my block and a guy pulled over and beckoned me to his car and asked how old I was. I answered and he said “never mind, you’re too young for what I have in mind”. I had not a clue what he could be referring to.

A guy backed me into a corner in a judaica store and told me I was just the right package for him.

Lotta creeps out there!
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mfb




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 4:42 pm
Mama Bear wrote:
My teenaged son had to go to yeshiva late once and I sent him via Uber. The entire day I was having anxiety attacks, worrying if the driver had driven off with him. I couldnt breathe until he came home.
I have to figure out a better way to send him to yeshiva on his occasional lateness. I can't always go with him.
It's an irrational fear but a fear nonetheless....

If there’s a phone in Yeshiva have him call u when he gets there or you call the secretary?
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Mama Bear




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 10:28 pm
Chaya123 wrote:
Oh please, that's not anxiety, that's normal responsible parents' behavior/reactions. Personally, I wouldn't trust anyone to drive my kids, only a frum woman whom I know or a family member. If need to go with uber, I always go along. Ch'v I wouldn't let them in an Uber or even frum car service for one minute alone.


It's a yeshiva bochur. a frum woman obviously wouldnt drive him (not that any Wmsbg women drive) and my family members who have cars, work during the day. I dont have any people available to drive him. I have to use car services. I have no choice. So it's either Uber, or a non Jewish car service, or a Russian car service.... it's a very stuck situation!

And I can't always go with him. The case in point of this uber story, was the morning after my niece's wedding. I was still asleep when he was ready to go to yeshiva. he was not going to wait for me to get dressed - he wanted to go NOW. N.O.W. Plus, I had my sleeping six year old at home. It wasn't that poshut.

Ditto for when he came home from yeshiva when he wasn't feeling well. I was in the middle of cooking supper, and I had my little one at home. He wasn't gonna sit around in yeshiva and wait until I scramble and figure out who should stay with the little one. he just wanted to get home.

it's horrible that his yeshiva isn't in the regular frum neighborhood but outside, in the commercial area. Sigh.


Last edited by Mama Bear on Mon, Jan 13 2020, 10:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mama Bear




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 10:29 pm
mfb wrote:
If there’s a phone in Yeshiva have him call u when he gets there or you call the secretary?


yup from now on I have to make sure he has quarters on him to use the public phone. it was a learning experience.
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amother




Lavender
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 11:03 pm
zaq wrote:
No, but a schoolmate of mine was on a TWA flight that was hijacked to Jordan and blown up. by the PFLP in 1970. The hostages were released after about six days. Hijacking planes to take the passengers hostage as bargaining points against the West was a popular trick employed by Arab malcontents and others.

Between 1968 and 1972 over 160 US planes were hijacked. B”H hijacking is less popular now but it still goes on.


My parent was on that flight.
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Chaya123




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 12:09 pm
[quote="Mama Bear"]It's a yeshiva bochur. a frum woman obviously wouldnt drive him (not that any Wmsbg women drive)

Right, I have girls so in your case, would ask a man but I hear your challenges. For me, it wouldn't be worth the anxiety but everyone is diff.
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Mama Bear




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 7:16 pm
Oh indeed it's really not worth the anxiety. I wish I'd have an alternative. My husband is at work from 9 am to 6:30 pm. He can drive my kid to yeshiva if he misses the 6 am bus, but not if he's going at 10 bc he came home late from a wedding. My brother is also at work, I wouldnt make him be my free driver in the middle of his workday. Bkitzer, it's a rough situation.
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