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Do you invite ds 20 yo friends to dd’s wedding?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 4:27 am
And if you do. Are they invited for dinner?
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 4:50 am
No, why would they be invited? Invite teh kallah's friends, the chatan's friends and your family and friends. Why siblings friends?
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s c




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 4:51 am
I would invite to dancing unless they actually have a close kesher with chosson or kalla. If you have any spaces to spare you could let him invite one or 2 of his best friends to the dinner for himself but chosson and kallahs friends obviously come first.
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blessedflower




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 5:34 am
I would invite for dancing. This 'younger' friend's tend to add a lot of simcha and lebedigkeit to weddings in my experience. The same for the friends of sister of bride. They always come with so much energy, I love it
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 5:46 am
blessedflower wrote:
I would invite for dancing. This 'younger' friend's tend to add a lot of simcha and lebedigkeit to weddings in my experience. The same for the friends of sister of bride. They always come with so much energy, I love it

What do the friends do while the courses are served?
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blessedflower




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 6:09 am
They come after the meal. Often they are not there at the beginning of the dancing.
When my parents made a wedding they made a refreshment table at the side. A bar with drinks and fruit or whatever. I remember the friends hanging around the bar if they came to early. Or they would sit together and smooze till the dancing
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 6:12 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
What do the friends do while the courses are served?


They come later. You can invite them to come at 9:00ish (depending on your schedule) for dancing. If you want you can have a light buffet with potato kugel or similar set out for them at the side. Doesn't have to be expensive.

Not many twenty year old boys feel it is a priority to come to their friends older sister's chuppah. If they want they can come, and either hang around outside, or come back later for the dancing.
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PinkFridge




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 6:34 am
I know the sisters enjoy having their friends, and yes, they can add to the dancing. Plus, they may know the kallah too which will also adds to their presence there. But I really don't see why it would be appropriate to invite a brother's friends. Unless the chosson really doesn't have anyone who's coming.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 7:23 am
Why would I invite my ds pals to his sister’s wedding? What shaychus do they have to her, and anyway they’re on the other side of the mechitzah?

OTOH if it was a package deal and we were paying for X guests anyway and we had X minus Y guests, and we desperately needed more people to fill the hall and we already went through all of our friends and family and all the kallah’s friends, then, sure, why not?
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amother




Rose
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 7:23 am
In our circles, siblings who are close in age are friends with all of each others friends. I went to a bunch of my brother's friends' weddings. These guys were like part of our family. And my brother went to a lot of my friends' weddings as well.
My DD has friends who are very close with our family and of course I would invite them when my DS gets married.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 7:35 am
No dinner. Just dancing. Give a time for the second dance they should come.
Some halls will put out potato kugel, drinks and cake for extra.
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amother




Oak
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 7:40 am
No! Unless your ds is super close with 1-2 boys he can tell them to stop by at some point- but no official invitation
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mommyhood




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 8:23 am
I’m my community the norm is that they’re not officially invited but the good friends show up either just for dancing or for the whole thing and they don’t take a seat. If the wedding was far I would let my kids officially invite a couple friends that are likely to come, it’s really nice for the siblings to have their people there especially for dancing when all the attention is on the chosson/kallah.
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sim




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 8:26 am
We invited my teenage son's classmates to come dance (the hall is close to the yeshiva) and offered them soda and dessert.
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amother




Natural
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 8:26 am
How close in age is DD and her friends? Are you in a community where people are open to actually meeting and socializing with each other. Or at least seeing someone and being interested enough to ask to be set up? The girls will all look their best, you could be zoche to be the "cause" of another wedding.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 9:19 am
1-2 friends for the whole time. Anyone can come to dancing.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 10:29 am
sim wrote:
We invited my teenage son's classmates to come dance (the hall is close to the yeshiva) and offered them soda and dessert.

Where do they hang around while people are sitting and eating. Same goes for people who come for dancing and by mistake come during eating.
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sim




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 10:54 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Where do they hang around while people are sitting and eating. Same goes for people who come for dancing and by mistake come during eating.


They arrived in time for the second dance after they finished night seder. They didn't have to hang around, but if necessary there were empty seats because some people had left by then. There are also chairs on the lobby of the hall we used.
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paperflowers




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 10:59 am
My first thought was why on earth. Then I remembered that some of my brothers friends DID come for second dance. But my husband, brothers, and brothers-in-law all went to the same yeshiva, so it wasn’t completely random because they all kind of overlap.

And then there are those who just like to show up to weddings. Whatever. They don’t eat.
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Shuly




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 13 2020, 11:07 am
Good friends who are in the house all the time and neighbors, yes but without a seat.
They ate by the shmorg and stayed for dancing.
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