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S/O Debt
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Are you currently in debt? CC or Medical
Yes  
 37%  [ 45 ]
No  
 62%  [ 74 ]
Total Votes : 119



amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 6:40 am
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Nope, you have absolutely no idea whether or not Hashem would have wanted her to succeed. What nonsense. If you want to believe that anyone can have enough savings for every crisis that could come their way, go ahead. I'll stick to reality, and Hashem.


I don't believe everyone can do this. I believe everyone in the US who is fiscally prudent can put themselves in a better financial position.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 6:51 am
pause wrote:
Do tell.


That was then. It's not relevant now.

My advice is falling on deaf ears because posters want to make excuses.
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 6:59 am
We have a TON of (good) debt bh! Yes we have a mortgage which op said not to include. We are racking up about 60k every year DH is in medical school cuz we cant afford tuition. We have 2 more years to go still. I make about 80k a year but we bh have a big family with a lot of expenses (we are eligible for some programs) so it is what it is. Bh we cover our bills for the most part. Sometimes well have an outstanding cc bill of 5k or so bec of an unexpected expense but we try to tackle those right away so they dont escalate. Dh is allowed to take out loans to live. So far he had to take 10k twice. Im trying not to sweat it. I definitely have my ups and downs regarding my feelings toward all this debt but im trying to have emunah. Hashem hopefully has a good plan in store for us!!
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amother
Blue


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 7:03 am
I've actually been thinking about this a lot. There is someone who owes us a lot of money and claims not to have it. we were able to see "up close" the "decisions" he made. Yes everything is min hashamayim but bederech hateva it makes sense for him to struggle financially. We made the mistake of trusting him and not bailing out earlier. Lets just say we aren't very sympathetic to his plight.

There someone else who might be in a worse financial position (no idea) but he had a major crises and thank G-d everyone is still alive, we are much more sympathetic to his situation.

Yes it's ideal to be able to plan for situations but there are sometimes crises that are no fault of the person and I believe that that's when the community should step in and help out. Even if you say someone should ideally have a years worth backup what happens when one spouse gets sick and is now out of work for a few years, the other spouse needs to take care of the sick spouse, insurance doesn't cover everything so medical bills are racking up... there's a limit to what can be expected of an average person
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 7:10 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
I've actually been thinking about this a lot. There is someone who owes us a lot of money and claims not to have it. we were able to see "up close" the "decisions" he made. Yes everything is min hashamayim but bederech hateva it makes sense for him to struggle financially. We made the mistake of trusting him and not bailing out earlier. Lets just say we aren't very sympathetic to his plight.

There someone else who might be in a worse financial position (no idea) but he had a major crises and thank G-d everyone is still alive, we are much more sympathetic to his situation.

Yes it's ideal to be able to plan for situations but there are sometimes crises that are no fault of the person and I believe that that's when the community should step in and help out. Even if you say someone should ideally have a years worth backup what happens when one spouse gets sick and is now out of work for a few years, the other spouse needs to take care of the sick spouse, insurance doesn't cover everything so medical bills are racking up... there's a limit to what can be expected of an average person


At a certain point you go on Medicaid which covers everything medical. They have home heath aids, etc.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 7:15 am
I don't think anyone lacks sympathy for people in economic distress because life threw them some hard curves which caused financial difficulties.

However - at least for me - there is a huge difference between financial hardships caused by things completely out of one's control and those caused by poor economic decisions.

If one has $X coming in, one needs to figure out a way to live within that sum. One can't rationalize why one "needs" to spend money on certain items because they are "expected' because that is not a prudent way to handle one's finances.

Of course no one can predict the future entirely but there are things one can do which increase the odds of being able to earn more money and traps to avoid which which would increase the odds of one NOT having the ability to earn a higher salary.

If one is using credit cards to fund every day expenses, then what is the alternative other than lowering those expenses and more importantly figuring out how one got into that kind of financial trap and at the ver least helping your children avoid it.

You can't go on indefinitely spending more than one earns - without taking action to raise income or lower expenses what is the plan?
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 7:19 am
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
We have a TON of (good) debt bh! Yes we have a mortgage which op said not to include. We are racking up about 60k every year DH is in medical school cuz we cant afford tuition. We have 2 more years to go still. I make about 80k a year but we bh have a big family with a lot of expenses (we are eligible for some programs) so it is what it is. Bh we cover our bills for the most part. Sometimes well have an outstanding cc bill of 5k or so bec of an unexpected expense but we try to tackle those right away so they dont escalate. Dh is allowed to take out loans to live. So far he had to take 10k twice. Im trying not to sweat it. I definitely have my ups and downs regarding my feelings toward all this debt but im trying to have emunah. Hashem hopefully has a good plan in store for us!!


You have a great plan yourselves.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 7:25 am
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
At a certain point you go on Medicaid which covers everything medical. They have home heath aids, etc.


but medicaid doesn't pay your mortgage, your kids tuition... I've been on medicaid it was pretty sweet not having any copays Wink but it definitely didn't pay all our bills and not every practitioner that we wanted to see took it.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 7:25 am
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
That was then. It's not relevant now.

My advice is falling on deaf ears because posters want to make excuses.


Well, people have asked you how to do it, so clearly they're interested. So, please, share your secrets with us.
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 8:53 am
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
That was then. It's not relevant now.

My advice is falling on deaf ears because posters want to make excuses.

I really want to know. Can you PM me?
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amother
White


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 8:58 am
For yourself: do what you can to prevent debt. Spend within your means. Plan for the future. Live simply.

For others: be dan lchaf zchus! If you think they're being irresponsible, see if you can speak to them. But you don't know Hashem's cheshbonos. And you don't really know the situation.

I was bemoaning our debt (accrued over time for basic living expenses) to dh. Objectively, there really wasn't a way to avoid it. We could have accrued a bit less. But the issues that caused it and the expenses that needed to be covered could not have been avoided. And we're on an upward movement thank g-d.
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Tue, Jan 14 2020, 9:00 am
For those who are in debt, did it happen after married for a while?
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