Somebody wake me up / knock sense into me

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Post  Thu, Jan 16 2020, 10:05 pm
I feel like I'm in a cloud of denial. I could be really frugal but I'm not right now.
For the first few years of marriage we were living in a rent controlled apt and a lot of my income was off the books so we put away a lot of savings (no judgy comments on this part please, it's too long to explain but no it wasn't illegal or scammy)
Then dh wanted to try a business in a different city. It failed and cost us $80k easy in living expenses. Meanwhile I was finished my degree/having a baby so I wasn't earning income.
Now, having given up that first apt, we're paying a lot of money for an apt. Dh was insistent it be nice, have a backyard etc, me - I'm OK spending a few hundred less a month to go into a regular dingy apartment. But I let him have his way. That's #1
#2 I haven't gone back to work. The baby is an excuse, I know I should take any job just to make money but I want a more advanced one than the one I left
#3 I'm still just spending money. I spend thriftily but I'm spending. It's coming straight from my savings (I have a personal account that I spend from and I always deposited some of my checks into).
#4 dh keeps freaking out on me that he needs to make money (he's trying another business) he wants to buy a house etc. I kind of just smile and nod. Bc he's not telling me otherwise, not like we've made a budget or anything, and he's the one who wants to pay so much for this place and live a certain way...

Our kids are small. We both have a lot of earning potential and a lot of savings. We put a few thousand into an investment that's returning nicely. We feel pretty confident overall and not like living hand to mouth.

But I still feel in denial. Like I'm living this nice dream of being a sahm when hello there's no reason I shouldn't be making every penny possible while I can?? My earning potential is way more than $6/hr I would be paying in childcare lol.

Someone knock sense into me. I feel like ever since before baby was born I've been in a la la land fog, including depression and ppd, and I haven't snapped out of it yet.
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Post  Thu, Jan 16 2020, 10:10 pm
If you haven't snapped out of your ppd yet, don't add more to your plate by taking a job if it's not absolutely necessary. Heal yourself first to be a better mother and more productive worker in the long run.
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Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:36 am
I agree with Honeymoon, but soon tuition for children will start and you wont know what hit you
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Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 1:23 am
Step #1 sit down with your dh and get serious about a budget. Budgets aren’t just for those paying off debt or trying to live month to month it’s for those with money too. Even millionaires budget.
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Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 4:04 am
The issue isn't your job. Its the attitude that you BOTH have towards money and living within your means.
Your living off savings which is bad and should AT MOST be a temporary thing.
Does your husband work? Buying a house should not even be on the radar screen for you.

You MUST, at the very least, get on the same page about finances and create a budget. Do you even know how many months of savings to get you through?
How quickly are you going to rack up more debt?

Here are some ways to get the conversation flowing and get the two of you on the same page.

Since you both have good earning potential and are still young you have a good financial future ahead of you as long as you start getting serious about your money and plans for the future.

How to stop fighting about money with your partner.

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Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 6:26 am
U need to get serious about budgeting. You have to be on the same page financially and if your husbamd wants to live on a higher standard than you, you dont have to completely give in. You can meet him somewhere out of your comfort zone but within reason.

If you are home all day it can be addong to your ppd. Maybe getting out of the house and getting a job will give you more structure.
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