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Girls have vacation, boys don’t...
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 10:02 am
My girls will be having midwinter vacation but the boys won’t. What should we do? Stick to day trips to be back in time for boys? Go overnight and leave boys with dh?
My boys would really be jealous( very understandable)
Is it fair to do this to the boys? Is it fair not to take the girls because of the boys? I don’t want the boys being resentful. Yet this is life.

What is your opinion? What do you do? From a chinuch aspect, parenting aspect, professional aspect.

My boys can’t take off for 3 days.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 10:12 am
We do a big day trip the Sunday of winter break when boys are done school.
Most years we drive to snow tubing and pack a big supper. My kids love it.
The other days the girls get together with friends, bake and do crafts.
I may also take them out one day for brunch.

Where I live no one does over night trips now so we don’t have that pressure.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 10:16 am
It’s not a pressure actually, I WANT to take them.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 10:21 am
My parents would let the boys skip 1 Sunday of school and take them to a trip of their choice.
They would also take them on trips in the summer.
It's not fair to take the girls on big trips while the boys get nothing.
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amother




Wine
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 10:41 am
I find this really challenging as well. I think girls should have less vacation and boys are allowed to have a day or two here and there. and they should all be the exact same days. might not be realistic but that would be idea.
girls have chanuka, mid winter, before and after summer.... boys get none of that. even without major trips and outings my daughter gets so many more nice experiences than my son and I wish it wasn't this way.
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 10:43 am
When they are little I take them along( we go away for one day). When they’re older they get chinese dinner( their favorite) delivered to them and a new book or something along with a quiet house (another favorite).
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:32 am
Can you do an overnight trip where your boys only miss one day of cheder?
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amother




Denim
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:33 am
I agree with pulling the boys on Sunday for a day trip. I would plan a couple day trips with the girls, and leave them days to just hang- if they are old enough, you can take one at a time out for lunch, etc. If there are very diverging interests, it's ok not to take the girls on the Sunday trip. Also, if you have family who would like to have the girls stay without you and it is reasonably driveable, that's an option for them. If the girls like to cook and bake, you guys can make special dinners or nosh that the boys can also enjoy.

I wouldn't leave the OP boys for more than one night, and would try not to do so at all. And I say this as a mom with this issue, though for me it's not boys vs girls- it's just different schools.
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SingALong




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:40 am
My dh works long hours and can't be home early for my boys. I have to be home early for them when they come home. So I just do small day trips with my girls. Trying to think of places for this year....
I made sure to go on a family trip snow tubing on Chanukah when my boys were also off.
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amother




Beige
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:50 am
So curious. ...which area/schools are we talking about that boys dont have midwinter break? I never knew this...I live in monsey and in my experience the boys schools that im familiar with do have, and they even try to coordinate with the girl schools
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:55 am
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
So curious. ...which area/schools are we talking about that boys dont have midwinter break? I never knew this...I live in monsey and in my experience the boys schools that im familiar with do have, and they even try to coordinate with the girl schools


Chassidish boys school don't have mid winter vacation. Some yeshivish/litvish schools don't have either.
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amother




Beige
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:03 pm
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
Chassidish boys school don't have mid winter vacation. Some yeshivish/litvish schools don't have either.


Interesting.
So the boys have school and the girls have off? Thats so hard...
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:08 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
Interesting.
So the boys have school and the girls have off? Thats so hard...


Yeah. That's why we make sure to take the boys on major trips.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:22 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
So curious. ...which area/schools are we talking about that boys dont have midwinter break? I never knew this...I live in monsey and in my experience the boys schools that im familiar with do have, and they even try to coordinate with the girl schools


Lakewood doesn't have. As a working mom of boys that doesn't bother me. I do wish they'd have a few sundays off.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:57 pm
My boys in Lakewood don’t have.
Girls only gave Friday-Monday or Tuesday depending on the school.

We try to do something exciting with the whole family many Sundays year round. Especially when boys have 1/2 Sunday.
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simcha2




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
It’s not a pressure actually, I WANT to take them.


I'll be the voice of dissent here. Take your girls.

Yes, the boys will be disappointed, but I'm sure there are times when your girls are disappointed by the things they don't get (bar mitzvah celebration, avos ubanim with prizes and pizza, an easier time in shidduchim...).

Learning to handle disappointment and be happy for someone else is an important life skill.

You don't have to rub it in, and you can leave some yummy suppers and treats for them, but take your girls and have a good time.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 1:55 pm
I was in a different school than my two sisters. I remember they had the day off and my mom took them to Dave N Busters, I couldn't stop crying. I also wanted to be part of their mommy daughter time.
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amother




Pewter
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 2:05 pm
It's not fair to deprive your girls just because your boys can't go!
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dancingqueen




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 2:17 pm
simcha2 wrote:
I'll be the voice of dissent here. Take your girls.

Yes, the boys will be disappointed, but I'm sure there are times when your girls are disappointed by the things they don't get (bar mitzvah celebration, avos ubanim with prizes and pizza, an easier time in shidduchim...).

Learning to handle disappointment and be happy for someone else is an important life skill.

You don't have to rub it in, and you can leave some yummy suppers and treats for them, but take your girls and have a good time.


I agree. The boys get plenty of opportunities that the girls don’t get. But try to make it more of a girly trip, and dh and the boys can have special time at home.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Jan 17 2020, 2:35 pm
Ok. Just getting more indecisive.
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