How to show your children their love language

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Post  Sun, Jan 19 2020, 7:34 pm
I haven't studied the love languages; however, as a parent, I intuitively can tell that my children have different ways of feeling and expressing love. If your way of showing/giving love is different than that of your child, how do you incorporate your child's love language into daily life to make sure your child feels loved?

I'm imaging that parents can share tips on how they show their gift giving children love or their touch children love etc. so we can try to use some of the tips with our children.
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Post  Sun, Jan 19 2020, 7:39 pm
I don't know what my children's love languages are, but I know what they love and I try to give them that whenever I can.

They love it when I tell them about my day while we are talking about their day.
They love when I sit down to color/schmooze with them with no phones around.
They love when I take their snack/dinner preferences into consideration.
They obviously love hugs and kisses, one child just for a second and one child deep long ones.

I can go on and on.

Love is about the small, every day things.

My mother never cared about or did any of these things. So every little thing feels like a win to me.
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Post  Sun, Jan 19 2020, 8:17 pm
Teen - gifts (little sweets, tzatzkes that make me think of her), words of affirmation (compliments, I love yous), and touch (hugs, kisses, small touches on the shoulder)

Teen - words of affirmation (long, deep conversations about how wonderful she is and how much she has grown, compliments, I love yous), quality time (take her out to Painting Store or window shopping or skating or coffee one one and one and TALK!)

Middle Schooler - Quality Time (watch old black and white movies with hot chocolate together one on one, listen to a football game on the radio together, read a book out loud to him chapter by chapter), physical touch (hugs and kisses at least once a day)

Elementary schooler - Physical Touch!!!(long cuddling sessions and loads of hugs and kisses), quality time (I get on the floor and play a special long running game about his playmobil characters at least once a week, where we make the characters live out his dream life full of constant fun experiences)

Preschooler - words of affirmation (tell her descriptively all about her world and how much love and positive feelings I have for her), physical touch (long snuggles with books), quality time (we bake and cook and wash dishes and clean and do laundry together, takes tons of patience but makes her feel so loved)
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Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 4:42 am
It's good to be fluent in several languages. I know what pleases them and use it but do not make it a language
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Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 7:34 am
I wrote this on a different thread - that I struggle with too much touch. It makes my skin crawl and I feel claustrophobic.

One of my kids recently complained I don’t let them touch me and I felt so sad.
I mean I hug and kiss them multiple times a day, hold their hands, cuddle in bed at bedtime. But when they play with my wig, rub my shoulder, sit on lap when older (over 4). Idon’t enjoy the feel of it. But they do and I think feel rejected that I don’t enjoy it.
My DH doesn’t mind so he’ll have 3 big kids hanging off him at the Shabbos table when I’ll not have anyone. And if someone does hang on me I feel very claustrophobic.
It’s a struggle. But the fact my daughter felt it made me realize maybe I’m not doing enough.
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