Home

"Shoemaker's children go barefoot"
1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 1:37 pm
As time passes on, I find this saying more and more true. I can think of so many situations where someone who is the epitome of everything they profess struggles so much in this specific area with their children.
ie. I know someone who has saved many couples' marriages and her own children are now struggling in marriage.
I know someone else who's a famous mechaneches who struggles with her own children's chinuch.

The list goes on...
Back to top

amother




Ruby
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 1:42 pm
BH not true for us. DH is an orthopedist and casted our children's bones when they broke them. He has also returned dislocated elbows for our nephews and nieces to save them a trip to the ER.
Back to top

amother




Aubergine
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 1:43 pm
Im a sheitel macher and I have 2 wigs that are over 4 y.o and 6 y.o. totally not in style... I even have a company that offered me a free wig but I never took them up on it. No reason why....
Back to top

amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 1:52 pm
I think about this a lot. Is it because whatever we are good at, we subconsciously like sharing with people, rather than our family. After all, if I'm good listener, and listen to my kids, who will know about it.
Back to top

amother




Coral
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 1:54 pm
There's definitely some truth to it. My grandfather was psychiatrist, and hoo boy, there is a looooot of mental illness on that side of the family (myself included). My husband works in IT, and we are always having computer problems with our computers at home because the last thing he wants to do when he gets home from work is deal with computer problems lol. I will say though, I work in fundraising and I'm always happy to help my kids' schools fundraiser, so I guess the saying doesn't always apply Smile
Back to top

amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 1:57 pm
I would guess that it’s less common than you think, it just stands out more when it happens.
Back to top

amother




Indigo
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:00 pm
I find this true with my husband who’s in contracting.

No bad intentions. But when he comes home after a long day at work, he needs to unwind rather than getting right back into what he’s been doing all day.
Back to top

amother




Brunette
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:01 pm
I c this a lot.
my friend is an amazing children's psychologist her kids have severe anxiety issues.
a relative is a gyn/ob whose youngest daughter had an abortion as ateenage girl (not frum).
our neighbor is a university prof and his son droped out of hisghschool.
we know rabbonim with ofd kids Sad
a very sweet man who has a criminal son
a seamstress who does beautiful gowns and her gransons never look mesudar (which I dont think is terrible, I dont judge any of the above)
I could go on and on

well I guess these are coincidences and not a law, but it makes one wonder...
im a schoolteacher, so far my kids do great in all subjects but who knows what time will bring Smile
Back to top

amother




Tangerine
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:05 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
I c this a lot.
my friend is an amazing children's psychologist her kids have severe anxiety issues.
a relative is a gyn/ob whose youngest daughter had an abortion as ateenage girl (not frum).
our neighbor is a university prof and his son droped out of hisghschool.
we know rabbonim with ofd kids Sad
a very sweet man who has a criminal son
a seamstress who does beautiful gowns and her gransons never look mesudar (which I dont think is terrible, I dont judge any of the above)
I could go on and on

well I guess these are coincidences and not a law, but it makes one wonder...
im a schoolteacher, so far my kids do great in all subjects but who knows what time will bring Smile

I'm an ESL teacher and BH my kids' English skills are above grade level here.
Back to top

gingertop




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:11 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
I would guess that it’s less common than you think, it just stands out more when it happens.


This is probably right.

Most sheitel machers I know wear gorgeous wigs and the fashion designers' children are dressed to kill. The children of the speech therapists I know articulate their words clearly and have incredible vocabularies. (I'm uncomfortable about chinuch experts and kids outcome as an example because outcomes are neither here nor there. There are no guarantees. Maybe some don't practice what they preach or maybe their children turned out different for a million other reasons starting with the fact that human beings have bechira.)

But yes, the exceptions stand out. Some people have tremendous talent that they use professionally and don't bother to incorporate much into their own lives.
Back to top

amother




Cyan
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:13 pm
DH is a finance guy and helps companies raise revenue and assists people in budgeting etc. We are dirt poor.
Back to top

amother




Teal
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:15 pm
Not always true. My husband is an electrician and is always taking care of our stuff when needed. He installs lights for us, replaces bulbs and puts in new fixtures if the old ones go bad. He is very busy and the work he does all day is hard but it would bother him way too much to have things not working properly at home.
Back to top

TranquilityAndPeace




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:16 pm
I’m a professional photographer and haven’t taken a photo of my daughter with my real camera in a year! (But I did commission someone who took gorgeous family photos of us in the spring.)

I kept wanting to take her to a park in the summer and fall, but it was always too hot and/or approaching her bedtime at sunset (ideal time for outdoor photos), so now I’m going to plan for this spring!

And maybe I should stop blaming the weather and sunset, and take her downstairs to my fully equipped studio, and just take some photos this week!!!
Back to top

amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:20 pm
gingertop wrote:
This is probably right.

Most sheitel machers I know wear gorgeous wigs and the fashion designers' children are dressed to kill. The children of the speech therapists I know articulate their words clearly and have incredible vocabularies. (I'm uncomfortable about chinuch experts and kids outcome as an example because outcomes are neither here nor there. There are no guarantees. Maybe some don't practice what they preach or maybe their children turned out different for a million other reasons starting with the fact that human beings have bechira.)

But yes, the exceptions stand out. Some people have tremendous talent that they use professionally and don't bother to incorporate much into their own lives.


Thank you for saying this so nicely.
Something was rubbing me the wrong way. I don’t think op meant the shaitel macher, construction guy or IT guy.
She meant the ones that try helping others with kids, marriages, and Hashem chose otherwise. Regardless if the parents did all they can.
Back to top

amother




Coral
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:30 pm
gingertop wrote:
This is probably right.

Most sheitel machers I know wear gorgeous wigs and the fashion designers' children are dressed to kill. The children of the speech therapists I know articulate their words clearly and have incredible vocabularies. (I'm uncomfortable about chinuch experts and kids outcome as an example because outcomes are neither here nor there. There are no guarantees. Maybe some don't practice what they preach or maybe their children turned out different for a million other reasons starting with the fact that human beings have bechira.)

But yes, the exceptions stand out. Some people have tremendous talent that they use professionally and don't bother to incorporate much into their own lives.


It's not just the exception, but the irony that stands out. But I think there may also be a bit of a chicken/egg situation too. For example, I've always wondered if the reason my grandfather was drawn to his specialty was davka because he noticed the issues within his own family. And with mental illness having a strong hereditary component, well, stuff got passed down through the generations.
Back to top

amother




Denim
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:50 pm
My husband is a travel agent and when it’s just him or us we always fly first class. We’ve done business class with the kids a few times as well. He’s always off somewhere and would take me along more often if not for me not wanting to leave the kids. As it is once a year we get to tour some exotic places together unless I have a newborn in which case we do domestic.
Back to top

amother




Mistyrose
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:50 pm
We have a bakery-
We do not go barefoot.
My ample belly proves it!
Back to top

amother




Red
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:56 pm
My mother is a famous mechaneches. She has students who she helps tremendously and who adore her. She was a horrible mother.
Same goes for my father in law. He is extremely wise and great at giving advice, has tons of talmidim who adore him etc but when it comes to his family he does not know how to give the right advice...
Back to top

amother




Pearl
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 3:03 pm
Not fair to blame therapists with family members who have anxiety issues or rebbeim who have kids otd or marriage counselor whose kid is divorced. We’re talking about people and circumstances that are usually beyond the control of the parents. Of course everyone has to do the best to raise their children, but being a therapist doesn’t mean you can avoid your own kids issues or necessarily help them.
An example of the shoemaker barefoot Wink would be my shabbos seuda.
My husband is a singer but rarely sings at home saving his voice Wink so people always say “wow, lucky you, what amazing zemiros you must have each week “ I just smile and move on.
Back to top

amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 3:05 pm
amother [ Pearl ] wrote:
Not fair to blame therapists with family members who have anxiety issues or rebbeim who have kids otd or marriage counselor whose kid is divorced. We’re talking about people and circumstances that are usually beyond the control of the parents. Of course everyone has to do the best to raise their children, but being a therapist doesn’t mean you can avoid your own kids issues or necessarily help them.
An example of the shoemaker barefoot Wink would be my shabbos seuda.
My husband is a singer but rarely sings at home saving his voice Wink so people always say “wow, lucky you, what amazing zemiros you must have each week “ I just smile and move on.


Exactly.
Back to top
1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 5 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions

Related Topics Replies Last Post
What does "shomer" mean
by amother
3 Today at 7:57 am View last post
How to "make" a tablecloth with fabric?
by amother
10 Sun, Sep 20 2020, 3:23 pm View last post
How badly are children affected in an amicable divorce?
by amother
29 Thu, Sep 17 2020, 8:55 am View last post
Asking children to pay for their own living expenses
by amother
69 Wed, Sep 16 2020, 8:55 pm View last post
Ima’s over 60...are you spending yt with children
by amother
7 Wed, Sep 16 2020, 8:51 pm View last post