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Would this bother you? How much? WWYD?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 7:54 pm
Your 11 yr old DD comes home from shopping with MIL with a brand new jacket. DD loves it and is very excited about it.

Fast forward several hours. Your parents come over to pick up the kids and take them out to dinner. DD excitedly shows off her new jacket and models it. Your father (her grandfather) tells her it’s too small, doesn’t fit her and looks terrible.

Reaction?
I have a lot of baggage when it comes to this sort of thing. Curious what others would think/ say/ do.
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 7:56 pm
Hmmm this comment is really out of place, especially coming from her grandfather. I would say "we think it fits right and is ok to wear."
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momX4




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 7:57 pm
You need to have a conversation with your parents that grandparents role is only give love and say positive things. Anything else should be said to you privately.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 8:04 pm
I don't take that kind of negatively well. Grandpa would get one private warning that this would not be tolerated anymore. It's your job to protect your children.
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Stars




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 8:05 pm
That's not ok
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Odelyah




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 8:12 pm
he really told her directly that it "looks terrible" ?? Sad
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 8:24 pm
Thanks.

Looks like everyone finds this as inappropriate and cruel as I do.

I never know if my perception of these things are correct or I’m hypersensitive and overreacting from my own painful childhood.

I asked my father not to criticize (in the moment and 1000 other times) but he pretends not to hear. I told DD she looks great and zaidy doesn’t know anything about fashion. I could tell she was hurt though.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 9:55 pm
If this is a one time thing I wouldn't make a big deal, just comfort DD and say he wasnt thinking. But, you say it isn't a one time thing, so of course it isn't right. There's a larger issue to deal with here.
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amother




Coffee
 

Post  Mon, Jan 20 2020, 10:17 pm
I Would think he was jealous that she was excited about the “other set” Of grandparents giving her something that she likes. Obviously not ok.
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:23 am
Not appropriate on his part, but if he has a general problem with appropriateness then the angle for you is teaching DD how to not take it personally. Sorry but we don't have to make our kids think the inappropriate adults in their lives are perfect, even though we need to treat them with respect.
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groisamomma




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:25 am
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
I Would think he was jealous that she was excited about the “other set” Of grandparents giving her something that she likes. Obviously not ok.


I thought the same thing.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 4:57 am
Let her know granmps sadly needs glasses and with old age, sometimes mixes up words. Lie. Tell him what you think in private. And dont worry, kids as they age to pre/teen+ figure out who is a "good" in the family
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thanks




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 7:36 am
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
I don't take that kind of negatively well. Grandpa would get one private warning that this would not be tolerated anymore. It's your job to protect your children.

No. It's your job to teach your children how to cope with negative critical people.
Tell her how great she looks, and how happy you are that her grandmother got her the jacket she loves.
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