Married to a Kohen - anything I need to know?

amother

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 11:53 am

When my boys were little I took them on a weekly basis to a local childrens museum until I randomly heard that kohanim cannot enter there because they have exhibitions with skeletons
Recently I was speaking to a sister in law and she had no idea that when you are pregnant you have to act like a kohan, as in not go to cemeteries / levayas etc because you might be carrying a boy
Now I’m wondering if there is anything else I dont know about??

amother

White

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:47 pm

Whaaaa???? I’m on the chevra kadisha and did taharas when pregnant. tbh I think all that is just symbolic in our day. Lacking para aduma, we’re all tamei mes anyway, and kohanim staying away from cemeteries and all is really just practice for such time as we’ll be able to reinstate the laws of tuma and tahara.

More important, stay on good terms with dh. If you ever contemplate divorce, contemplate very carefully. If once you go through with it, there’s no reset button: he can’t remarry you even if you reconcile.

Roots

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:52 pm

I am married to a kohen and therefore do (try) not get tamei lameis when im expecting- no walking into cemeteries and not into hospitals unless its a must. we dont go to kivrei tzadikim as a family- I wait till my family comes to israel and go with them lol. in northern israel there are some roads in big cities that we dont go to because they used to bury ppl along the way there many yrs ago-
other than that I cant think of anything else

Roots

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:54 pm

[quote="amother [ White ]"]Whaaaa???? I’m on the chevra kadisha and did taharas when pregnant. tbh I think all that is just symbolic in our day. Lacking para aduma, we’re all tamei mes anyway, and kohanim staying away from cemeteries and all is really just practice for such time as we’ll be able to reinstate the laws of tuma and tahara.

really?! I thought we are supposed to try not to get tamei lemeis -(if ur expecting a girl its fine though)

Roots

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:57 pm

amother [ White ] wrote:

More important, stay on good terms with dh. If you ever contemplate divorce, contemplate very carefully. If once you go through with it, there’s no reset button: he can’t remarry you even if you reconcile.

I think its also true about if the woman is with another man (wether wanted or unwanted) than she cant be with her kohen husband anymore- is that true, does anyone know?

forgetit

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:57 pm

amother [ White ] wrote:

Are you the wife of a Kohen?

forgetit

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:59 pm

Roots wrote:

I think its also true about if the woman is with another man (wether wanted or unwanted) than she cant be with her kohen husband anymore- is that true, does anyone know?

From halachic aspect, not sure about wanted, but unwanted: this is only true if he confirms that it is absolutely true. If he doesn't ask she shouldn't tell him. If he wants to stay together, he should never try to confirm, even if he thinks it may be so.

Rappel

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 1:10 pm

Roots wrote:

I think its also true about if the woman is with another man (wether wanted or unwanted) than she cant be with her kohen husband anymore- is that true, does anyone know?

That's true for any Jew, AFAIK

sky

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 1:11 pm

[quote="Roots"]

amother [ White ] wrote:

Whaaaa???? I’m on the chevra kadisha and did taharas when pregnant. tbh I think all that is just symbolic in our day. Lacking para aduma, we’re all tamei mes anyway, and kohanim staying away from cemeteries and all is really just practice for such time as we’ll be able to reinstate the laws of tuma and tahara.

really?! I thought we are supposed to try not to get tamei lemeis -(if ur expecting a girl its fine though)

Tamei meis when pregnant I was told is minhag.
A kohein can go in a cemetery if sealed in a certain type of enclosure. I was told baby in womb is in that type of enclosure and does not have tamei meis. In our family pregnant wives of kohaneim do go to cemeteries. (We go instead of DHs who cannot)

Very few museums
If sons are in car avoid driving along cemeteries with over hanging trees. If it does happen make sure windows are closed.

Having sons duchen is beautiful. Smile

I love it.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 1:18 pm

My dh won't fly direct to Israel with ElAl out of one the nyc area airports (JFK or Newark, not sure which), because those flights often transport niftarim being buries in Israel.
Also, I was only careful with cemeteries once I knew for sure I was carrying a boy.

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 1:34 pm

My LOR told me it's good to be careful. Here in Israel it's quite hard since a Chevra Kadisha car can pass right in front of ou without notice. Especially hard when I have my little boy sitting in the carriage.
Was once locked out from my apt for 2 hrs since my neighbor was niftar and had to live with my baby.

Really you are not supposed to ask a kohan to do any work for you. Altough with a wife one is meikel.

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 2:45 pm

amother [ White ] wrote:

Shocked. I'm the wife of a kohen and steer clear of even hospitals when pregnant.

grace413

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 2:46 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Really you are not supposed to ask a kohan to do any work for you. Altough with a wife one is meikel.

How are we supposed to live if our kohain husbands can't work?

amother

Slategray

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 3:06 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Shocked. I'm the wife of a kohen and steer clear of even hospitals when pregnant.

I’m also surprised. I’m very careful when I’m pregnant unless I know it’s a girl.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 3:13 pm

grace413 wrote:

How are we supposed to live if our kohain husbands can't work?

I assume being respectably compensated is fine. Vs. asking a kohain to do a favor.
For kids it's another story. They need chinuch, so you're not going to allow a five year old to say, always be line leader.