Home

4 year old playing strangely- what do you think?

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 8:20 pm
In the past month or two I've noticed that when my daughter has a friend over for a play-date she has a strange game that she likes to play. Its worrying me.

She says "Lets play house"- and then brings her friend to her bed or her sister's toddler bed. She cuddles under the blanket with friend in various positions such as lying next to each other (too close for my comfort), friend lying on her stomach, friend lying on her back on top of my daughter. She gets quiet and a little whispery but wouldn't try to hide anything that she was doing.

In general she is a very touchy kid- she loves to cuddle and get and give hugs. I spoke to her generally in a casual way that we don't ever take off or pick up clothing when we're playing. (As I'm writing this I'm realizing that picking up clothes is not really the issue that she's doing.)

Today we had a neighbor (a bit younger than her) over and throughout the afternoon my I kept finding her hiding, in the crib, in the closet, piling cushions behind the couch- cuddling in these strange positions- saying- "I'm the Mommy, she's the baby and she's in my stomach. (picking up her shirt)" I'm the baby and they're doing a bris on me." "We're going to sleep, this is my crib. (it was the closet)"

I'm thinking that it might be some kind of sensory thing or maybe some kind of exploring, or maybe (mother's worryful imagination) enacting some kind of molestation that happened to her (I do not know when or how that could've happened).

I'm thinking of approaching the pediatrician to talk about this.
Have you ever seen kids play like this? What do you think this might be coming from? Is this developmentally appropriate?
Back to top

amother




Silver
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 8:22 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
In the past month or two I've noticed that when my daughter has a friend over for a play-date she has a strange game that she likes to play. Its worrying me.

She says "Lets play house"- and then brings her friend to her bed or her sister's toddler bed. She cuddles under the blanket with friend in various positions such as lying next to each other (too close for my comfort), friend lying on her stomach, friend lying on her back on top of my daughter. She gets quiet and a little whispery but wouldn't try to hide anything that she was doing.

In general she is a very touchy kid- she loves to cuddle and get and give hugs. I spoke to her generally in a casual way that we don't ever take off or pick up clothing when we're playing. (As I'm writing this I'm realizing that picking up clothes is not really the issue that she's doing.)

Today we had a neighbor (a bit younger than her) over and throughout the afternoon my I kept finding her hiding, in the crib, in the closet, piling cushions behind the couch- cuddling in these strange positions- saying- "I'm the Mommy, she's the baby and she's in my stomach. (picking up her shirt)" I'm the baby and they're doing a bris on me." "We're going to sleep, this is my crib. (it was the closet)"

I'm thinking that it might be some kind of sensory thing or maybe some kind of exploring, or maybe (mother's worryful imagination) enacting some kind of molestation that happened to her (I do not know when or how that could've happened).

I'm thinking of approaching the pediatrician to talk about this.
Have you ever seen kids play like this? What do you think this might be coming from? Is this developmentally appropriate?


Is she mimicking what she see's you doing?
When kids play house, they generally mimic what they see is done at home.
Back to top

amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 8:24 pm
If you know that she's sensory, that could explain it. In general, when kids are sensory it comes out pretty strongly in their play.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 9:23 pm
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
Is she mimicking what she see's you doing?
When kids play house, they generally mimic what they see is done at home.


I'm not pregnant or nursing if that's what you mean. Though we did go to a bris recently.
Back to top

amother




Silver
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 9:25 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm not pregnant or nursing if that's what you mean. Though we did go to a bris recently.


Perhaps she remembers you nursing her or she see's nursing mommy's. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it unless she's doing something inappropriate or you know for sure that she has sensory issue. If she has sensory issue, maybe have her evaluated.
Back to top

amother




Slateblue
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 9:35 pm
My two year old came home from playgroup “nursing” her baby!
Back to top

seeker




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 10:49 pm
It's not appropriate but it doesn't seem like any kind of red flag to me, especially since you say this child generally loves to cuddle and be physical. However you need to teach her, right now, solid rules for appropriate play. Among them, no closets and no beds/blankets (some kids can have great blanket tents but with this kid it feels clearer to just stay away.) And make sure she has plenty of dolls so the doll can be the baby in mommy's tummy/getting a bris and both kids can be mommies.
Back to top

amother




Silver
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 10:51 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
My two year old came home from playgroup “nursing” her baby!


All kids do this, very normal!
Back to top
Recent Topics

Page 1 of 1 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Do 8 year old girls wear crop tops?
by amother
11 Today at 5:58 pm View last post
5 year old boy- how many pairs of shoes
by amother
20 Today at 10:23 am View last post
Expectations for an 8-year-old
by ANS
6 Today at 8:31 am View last post
Is it true if nap on R'H you'll have a sleepy year?
by amother
32 Yesterday at 5:07 pm View last post
Does your 11 year old go to shul
by amother
16 Yesterday at 4:57 pm View last post