In desperate need of a rav, mentor, someone to talk to

amother

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 9:49 pm

This is for me and my husband . We need a family someone . More then just a rav . My husband needs someone like a father figure . Someone he can talk to and won’t be judged . Someone who can help us take a path in life . Someone who will give (mainly my husband) lots of time and attention, someone who can be reachable . Something like a rosh yeshiva , rebbe kesher. More then just Judaism . Life advice .

amother

Pearl

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 11:19 pm

That type of relationship can take some time to build.

Where do you live? Do you identify with a certain branch of Judaism? Do you daven at a specific shul?

Proximity in location is usually very helpful in building such a relationship.

amother

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 11:22 pm

Hi we live in Brooklyn . We are heimish but can be of any type . Just someone who we can open up to and someone who will be there for us . Kind of take my husband under his wing . I know this is a relationship usually built over the years but unfortunately this is our situation .

amother

Oak

Wed, Jan 22 2020, 12:08 am

I agree with the previous poster. It takes investment and its never too late to start. The more you invest, the better the relationship, and the more on target the advice and guidance you will receive. If you just "dial a mentor" based on a name you got, even if he's wonderful and wise, the advice may not be as on target if he doesn't know you well.
Dh should look around town, where there is a shul or shtiebel with a rav he can connect to and begin frequenting that place and building a relationship. It can also be just a regular person in the community who is older/wiser/an askan/etc. He should approach to discuss a thing or two to make sure they connect, and make it his business to stay in touch regularly. If he turns to him only in crisis, this wont work as well.
There are good ppl like that out there, but he'll have to look around and put in the effort. Of course, he can just approach someone now with wtva is on ur/his mind, but the point is to work on making this an ongoing relationship.