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How old were you when you had your last child?
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dancingqueen




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 7:10 pm
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
My mother had me when she was 46. She thanks god for me every day. She said I kept her young. If someone is healthy and capable why would you want to stop at young age?


Everyone should do what works for them. But mothers are people too, and we should take our selves and the care for the families we already have as priorities.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 7:14 pm
amother [ White ] wrote:
I hear you, as I am now working super hard at the gym to regain my fit size 2 body, which, btw, I have done successfully after each baby (13 of the keh). But what chilbirth has done to my spirit and well being is beyond euphoria, I've been hugging and kissing my baby. She lights up the entire house! One of my kids recently asked how do people survive without babies! So yes, While I had to give up some physical attributes, emotionally I'm in the best place I'd ever want to be, bh!


It sounds like you haven’t given up much if you always go back to a size 2. Most women can’t do that after many less kids.
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 7:17 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
I can't either fathom giving up having more kids so I won't be tired...id rather have the baby....ill sleep when I'm past childbearing age...to each their own


Right but I have to work, and function. Different ppl have different stamina and support. My friend tells me her husband does nights. Well mine never does, so my baby can sometimes be a 24 hour job. I don’t have family around, work and don’t have help beyond my work hours. I am praying (and trying!) for more kids but I can imagine others not being able to at every stage- ppl have sick kids also, or preemies or high needs babies. Ppl themselves get sick.
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amother




Denim
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 11:25 pm
38. I am very cognizant that having a baby at 43 (or whatever age) doesn't just mean having the physical stamina to go through pregnancy, childbirth, and the exhausting newborn stage at 43. It also means having the emotional stamina to deal with a toddler at 45, a preschooler at 47, and a teenager at 60--all while meeting the physical and emotional needs of that baby and the rest of the family.

Hashem should give us all the strength and wisdom to make the right decisions for us and our families!
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 12:57 am
22 Sad
No bc
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chanchy123




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:27 am
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
Not really...you make time for what is important to you!
I only have 4 hours of cleaning help per week, 11 kids and I also go to the gym.
If we can find time for well check up, dentist app, pta and the other stuff we can also make time for the gym!!!
(I'm not saying it's easy, it's not! Wink )

I wish I had the time for well check-ups dentists and pta and I only have 5 kids. These are all things I am struggling to fit into my schedule as it is.
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amother




Mint
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 4:38 am
amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:
22 Sad
No bc


Hug
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amother




Taupe
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 9:04 am
dancingqueen wrote:
Everyone should do what works for them. But mothers are people too, and we should take our selves and the care for the families we already have as priorities.

Yes! This!
The thread was originally the oldest age to have a baby and there's no point in comparing because some ladies whol have helpful husbands and some won't, some will have easy pregnancies and some won't, some ppl will have girls that can help out at home and some boys that don't come home until 10 at night, colicky babies....
You get the picture!! LOL
It's not a competition!!!!
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amother




White
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:03 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
It sounds like you haven’t given up much if you always go back to a size 2. Most women can’t do that after many less kids.
I gain 40 pounds each pregnancy. I think for 100 pound woman, gaining that much is giving up a lot of yourself! I own almost every size in my closet! I don't have tons of cleaning help either. I do have bh a caring spouse, kids who are raised with chores and responsibilites, and I (think...) I know what my priorities are. Gym before windexed windows and homework before shopping...I shvitz away nightlyat the gym to regain my size and maintain my sanity. And I swell with nachas when the married kids come over and the grandkids make a ranch from our home. Because I know that at 60 and older, all those cutesie troublemakers will be married bezh and the house will be hauntingly quiet..So I am enjoying the tumult now and work on those abs, thighs and hips...
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allthingsblue




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:07 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
I can't either fathom giving up having more kids so I won't be tired...id rather have the baby....ill sleep when I'm past childbearing age...to each their own


Some people (like me) have a very hard time being kind and loving wives and moms when they are tired, not to mention functioning at work (which may be necessary for some people to pay the bills!).
I don't want to sacrifice my shalom Bayis or the emotional wellbeing of my existing children just so I can have more...
Quality, not quantity.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:31 pm
amother [ White ] wrote:
I gain 40 pounds each pregnancy. I think for 100 pound woman, gaining that much is giving up a lot of yourself! I own almost every size in my closet! I don't have tons of cleaning help either. I do have bh a caring spouse, kids who are raised with chores and responsibilites, and I (think...) I know what my priorities are. Gym before windexed windows and homework before shopping...I shvitz away nightlyat the gym to regain my size and maintain my sanity. And I swell with nachas when the married kids come over and the grandkids make a ranch from our home. Because I know that at 60 and older, all those cutesie troublemakers will be married bezh and the house will be hauntingly quiet..So I am enjoying the tumult now and work on those abs, thighs and hips...


Good for you! Not everyone has time energy money and physical ability to do that.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:37 pm
I had my 2nd and last at 31 . Two x's of preeclampsia and almost dying was enough for me.
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:44 pm
If someone is healthy, financially stable , and in a good marriage I would think self care has gone too far if they choose not to have any kids. Anything past that I wouldn't judge.
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amother




White
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 4:32 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
If someone is healthy, financially stable , and in a good marriage I would think self care has gone too far if they choose not to have any kids. Anything past that I wouldn't judge.
I agree. However, I still wouldn't judge someone who doesn't want more kids because of self care. Better no kids then less than wanted kids. Happy parents make happy kids. Resentful parents make, well, lets not go there. So everyone, count your blessing, thank Hashem for what you have, and stop peeking out of the shades checking what others have to measure your happiness accordingly. Be happy with what you've got, be happy with your lot!
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