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amother
OP
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 5:19 am
Hi. I am currently trying to figure out this whole seminar thing for my oldest daughter. I could really use some guidance... We live in Yerushalayim and can't really move so I'm looking for a school here or possibly in RBS. The school has a counselor who is supposed to be helping us through the process but she has her own perspective and agenda. She suggested we try to get into Ma'alot (which she later told us is only accepting girls whose fathers are learning full time which my husband isn't) and Beit Bina. I really know next to nothing about these schools.
My daughter really needs a smaller, warmer school. She is quite shy and struggles with self-esteem issues. She does well academically but she has to work hard at it. Meaning, she is smart, but actually getting the work done is a big challenge for her. The biggest thing for me is that things at home are very challenging, even dysfunctional and it takes a big toll on her. A lot of her peers are very into going to a seminar that has a "good name" but for me it is less important. Maybe I am being naive but at this point in her life it's not a priority. She's not "off the derech" but she definitely has some issues with Yiddishkeit. On the outside we look like a normal, somewhat quirky, Chareidi family and she looks like a normal, sweet, shy, good girl. But inside and at home, she's really really struggling.
And I can't tell any of this to the counselor from her school who's supposed to be helping us find her a school. I'm also interested in hearing about schools that offer bagruyot. So, does anyone have any insights as to what would be a good school for her? Thanks!
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amother
Yellow
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 5:38 am
Hi OP. Hatzlacha with choosing a high school.
My daughter's entire elementary school went to the 'big 4' high schools. She had one criteria - that it should be s small school where everyone knows everyone and therefore, the big 4 were out of the picture. She's now graduating 12th grade from Moreshet. Many of my neighbors go to Beit Bina and are wonderful girls as well.
A few things you should know. Even though these schools are considered more open minded, they are still Charedi Beis Yaakovs. They can only wear certain shoes, certain earrings, certain hair styles, certain hoodies. Yes, they're considered more open minded but honestly, it looks like you're looking for something a bit less strict, a bit more understanding. My daughter loves Moreshet and they love her there, but there are still Bais Yaakov rules that she has been sent home for, even if they are a bit more lenient than the main big schools. As for Bagrut, I don't believe these schools offer them. Their goal is for the students to continue in one of their 'tracks' in grade 13 and 14 and they earn their certification that way. The problem my daughter is having now though is that since the school is small, there aren't enough girls interested in the track she wants to go for, so it looks like they aren't opening that track next year.
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abound
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 7:00 am
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What about Bnos Hadassah? They don't do bagriut but They are small, warm, loving, Academic they are okay. My daughter has 2 friends there that are loving every minute.
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newlywedgirl
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Sat, Jan 25 2020, 3:34 pm
First of all, good luck!
From experience (I graduated 3 years ago) sending your daughter to a school that offers bagruyot will open a ton of doors in the future and will prevent her from having to “waste” a year making it all up for higher education (even in religious places). I personally think that it’s a huge advantage to have and I’m so happy that I could go straight into higher education.
I don’t know your daughter but it sounds like she could be a great fit for RBS schools, they’re smaller than the Jerusalem ones and are very warm places with amazing girls (really!).
Pninei Chen offers a full bagrut.
Ko Tamar is more Bais Yakov (more like the Jerusalem high schools) and offers all of the bagruyot besides one. The girls that want to make up the last one have to do it independently after they finish high school- I have friends that have done it and it’s annoying but they loved their school.
There’s another great high school in RBS called Bnot Harama that’s newer than the other 2 but is a great school. I don’t know whether or not they offer bagruyot.
One thing to consider about the RBS schools is that traveling is really hard on a teen. I did it throughout high school and it was super hard and super draining. I would take that in account before deciding on where to send her.
If you’re looking into schools in Jerusalem:
Dupark is great and on the smaller side.
Pninat Hachinuch is a great school if you’re daughter is struggling religiously but it has a very high academic level (which you mentioned wouldn’t be so great for your daughter).
Lapidot is also a small and warm school.
I hope this helps! Good luck!
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amother
Powderblue
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Sat, Jan 25 2020, 4:42 pm
following-
from what I hear netiv hachinuch is a warm place in general, and not so academic, perfect for a girl that struggles with grades BUT they are very strict about every inch, collarbone, shoe style etc and some girls feel like they are being choked there, like the administration is down their back. But if your daughter is the follow the rules, wholesome, doesn't feel the need to break rules and dresses very tznius then it might be a really good option.
Also beit binah sounds perfect for your daughter, why not pursue that option? Good girls, from good families.
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Iymnok
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Sat, Jan 25 2020, 5:30 pm
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Bnos Hadassa is smallish, but they just moved into their new, huge building. It looks like they plan to eventually double in size. The girls I know are happy there. It’s just under the Big 4, but is very Frum and may feel strict. It is a good choice for American parents since it’s slightly toned down.
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byisrael
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Wed, Jan 29 2020, 12:59 pm
Shoshanim and Lapidot are to different schools
I have a friend who works there;
From what she says because Shoshanim is an arts school and the focus is art the adminstration hasn't really figured out where they want to be on the charedi spectrum, on the one hand they want reg. bais yaakov standards on the other hand they want to cater to the out of the box but still good girl who chaffs at bais yaakov standards. Her example was administration making a big deal out of booties even though most of the staff has longer sheitals - the girls seem to feel like there are double standards.
Lapidot is a more acedemically focused place and has more of a clear kav, my friend says the current administration is amazing, but doesn't have the arts and creative focus of shoshanim, and an academically challenged girl who is super creative won't shine like in Shoshanim.
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