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A little rant please don’t attack me lol
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:12 pm
I’ve been noticing that in the link magazine which I use to look for jobs and classified, there’s a page devoted to being anti smartphone. They have horrible sounding stories revolving around the iPhone/Android and while I WANT to ignore that part, there’s a little part of me that says “so what did they say now?!”
I don’t get fed up easily but one thing is very clear.
They forget that smartphones have good in it too.
There’s chabad.
There’s aish hatorah.
There’s this wonderful site.
You can buy headscarves or shaitels or clothing or random things you want or need online without going to the store.
Unlimited shiurim both in English and Hebrew
A shmiras einayim site
A halacha site
A lashon hara podcast or anything of that sort
Etc etc etc

Just these articles sound like people access the parts they’re not supposed to and suddenly

SMARTPHONES ARE BAD OH NO YOURE DAMAGED OOH YOUR NESHAMA IS RUINED FOREVER OOH HASHEM IS GONNA PUNISH YOU
etc

Not telling people what to do, but to people who don’t have smartphones, please don’t look at us all full of pity or shame or whatever.
My iPhone has only sites that I want to access.

Of course I know not everybody has or knows of this option.

Rant over
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naturalmom5




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:15 pm
I am waiting for them to build a nice Amish like community I can retire to Very Happy

Until then it is ALL BS AND HYPOCRISY
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:28 pm
I agree that there is so much good one can access with a smart phone. However, I think the bad thing about it has nothing to do with Judaism. The bad thing is that people have it on hand constantly as opposed to their computer. Its on hand in bed, at the table, while you do housework, while you talk to your kids (and your face is glued to the screen instead of looking into your child’s eyes) , at a restaurant while on a date , it’s ALWAYS there and it makes it that much harder to just put it away , peel your face away from the screen and interact with the humans in your life. That’s the downside for me. I see how much it affected the way I live. We use it for lots of good , but it still has a very bad affect on the way we handle relationships nowadays with people. I still have one , because it’s something hard for me to give up, but I really wish I was able to just toss it away and use a computer instead to listen to a shiur etc.
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:33 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
I agree that there is so much good one can access with a smart phone. However, I think the bad thing about it has nothing to do with Judaism. The bad thing is that people have it on hand constantly as opposed to their computer. Its on hand in bed, at the table, while you do housework, while you talk to your kids (and your face is glued to the screen instead of looking into your child’s eyes) , at a restaurant while on a date , it’s ALWAYS there and it makes it that much harder to just put it away , peel your face away from the screen and interact with the humans in your life. That’s the downside for me. I see how much it affected the way I live. We use it for lots of good , but it still has a very bad affect on the way we handle relationships nowadays with people. I still have one , because it’s something hard for me to give up, but I really wish I was able to just toss it away and use a computer instead to listen to a shiur etc.


This. And to me it out weighs all the good.
I do have a smartphone but I wish I didn’t.
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amother




Emerald
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:37 pm
They don't take responsibility for the ads put in, so whoever has something on his mind is free to share his opinions with the world. Just turn the page and ignore it.
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asmileaday




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:37 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
I agree that there is so much good one can access with a smart phone. However, I think the bad thing about it has nothing to do with Judaism. The bad thing is that people have it on hand constantly as opposed to their computer. Its on hand in bed, at the table, while you do housework, while you talk to your kids (and your face is glued to the screen instead of looking into your child’s eyes) , at a restaurant while on a date , it’s ALWAYS there and it makes it that much harder to just put it away , peel your face away from the screen and interact with the humans in your life. That’s the downside for me. I see how much it affected the way I live. We use it for lots of good , but it still has a very bad affect on the way we handle relationships nowadays with people. I still have one , because it’s something hard for me to give up, but I really wish I was able to just toss it away and use a computer instead to listen to a shiur etc.


So instead of bashing and banning EDUCATE. (Not you, but the Rabbonim that ban it.)
They are doing such a disservice by making it out to be this humongous monster where if you just look at the screen you're already damaged.
We need more awareness and education on how to use it effectively and healthily. Especially for the older teenaged boys and girls.
They will get one eventually, let's face it. Educate them on safe usage.
/rant over

Oh actually it's not over. My Mom is one of those brainwashed to think that if you so much glance at a smartphone you're going straight to h*ll. I can't show her pictures of my kids or a cute video or a funny meme. She most definitely wouldn't do a video call with her grandkids who don't live in the same city. Talk about destroying relationships. This whole extreme ban and hyperbole is destroying more relationships than if they would allow it and educate about safe usage.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:40 pm
You’re right.
We do need more education on phone usage.
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behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:42 pm
I think in general the frum world is moving in the direction of "the middle way"
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:46 pm
asmileaday wrote:
So instead of bashing and banning EDUCATE. (Not you, but the Rabbonim that ban it.)
They are doing such a disservice by making it out to be this humongous monster where if you just look at the screen you're already damaged.
We need more awareness and education on how to use it effectively and healthily. Especially for the older teenaged boys and girls.
They will get one eventually, let's face it. Educate them on safe usage.
/rant over

Oh actually it's not over. My Mom is one of those brainwashed to think that if you so much glance at a smartphone you're going straight to h*ll. I can't show her pictures of my kids or a cute video or a funny meme. She most definitely wouldn't do a video call with her grandkids who don't live in the same city. Talk about destroying relationships. This whole extreme ban and hyperbole is destroying more relationships than if they would allow it and educate about safe usage.


I agree with you about educating. Instead they turned it into a “frum” issue as opposed to a basic human issue, that applies to Jews and non Jews alike. The people that made these bans are uneducated themselves and don’t know what the real issues are so they just use horror stories to scare people and they are going about it completely wrong.
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amother




Teal
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:34 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’ve been noticing that in the link magazine which I use to look for jobs and classified, there’s a page devoted to being anti smartphone. They have horrible sounding stories revolving around the iPhone/Android and while I WANT to ignore that part, there’s a little part of me that says “so what did they say now?!”
I don’t get fed up easily but one thing is very clear.
They forget that smartphones have good in it too.
There’s chabad.
There’s aish hatorah.
There’s this wonderful site.
You can buy headscarves or shaitels or clothing or random things you want or need online without going to the store.
Unlimited shiurim both in English and Hebrew
A shmiras einayim site
A halacha site
A lashon hara podcast or anything of that sort
Etc etc etc

Just these articles sound like people access the parts they’re not supposed to and suddenly

SMARTPHONES ARE BAD OH NO YOURE DAMAGED OOH YOUR NESHAMA IS RUINED FOREVER OOH HASHEM IS GONNA PUNISH YOU
etc

Not telling people what to do, but to people who don’t have smartphones, please don’t look at us all full of pity or shame or whatever.
My iPhone has only sites that I want to access.

Of course I know not everybody has or knows of this option.

Rant over


But that’s how dangerous the nisayon is for many people specifically because you can use it for good. Isn’t that the same with so many things? You can rationalize and say you’re using it for good but some fall into the test and use it for bad. Anyone who denies the danger is clueless. Marriages break up over it, people are mechallel Shabbos because they get addicted, and so many other scary stories, and they’re not made up, they’re true. So it’s not based on nonsense.
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amother




Teal
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:35 pm
asmileaday wrote:
So instead of bashing and banning EDUCATE. (Not you, but the Rabbonim that ban it.)
They are doing such a disservice by making it out to be this humongous monster where if you just look at the screen you're already damaged.
We need more awareness and education on how to use it effectively and healthily. Especially for the older teenaged boys and girls.
They will get one eventually, let's face it. Educate them on safe usage.
/rant over

Oh actually it's not over. My Mom is one of those brainwashed to think that if you so much glance at a smartphone you're going straight to h*ll. I can't show her pictures of my kids or a cute video or a funny meme. She most definitely wouldn't do a video call with her grandkids who don't live in the same city. Talk about destroying relationships. This whole extreme ban and hyperbole is destroying more relationships than if they would allow it and educate about safe usage.


I doubt you’d still be so casual about it if what happened to my friend happened to you- she caught her young teen son accessing [filth] on it. Still a great thing?
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:40 pm
My issue with smartphones is that I feel like I cannot pull my husband away from it. Everything he watches or reads is kosher (I.e. educational clips, voice notes with friends) so that’s not my issue. It’s just that I have to compete with a phone and the phone gets more time then me. When I bring it up he claims that he needs to relax after a day of work and that’s his way of chilling. But fact is that the phone still gets more attention then me and yes that’s hurtful. Why should he want to play a board game with me or so some activity together if he can watch something fascinating on his phone. It is very very hard.
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little neshamala




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:44 pm
asmileaday wrote:
So instead of bashing and banning EDUCATE. (Not you, but the Rabbonim that ban it.)
They are doing such a disservice by making it out to be this humongous monster where if you just look at the screen you're already damaged.
We need more awareness and education on how to use it effectively and healthily. Especially for the older teenaged boys and girls.
They will get one eventually, let's face it. Educate them on safe usage.
/rant over

Oh actually it's not over. My Mom is one of those brainwashed to think that if you so much glance at a smartphone you're going straight to h*ll. I can't show her pictures of my kids or a cute video or a funny meme. She most definitely wouldn't do a video call with her grandkids who don't live in the same city. Talk about destroying relationships. This whole extreme ban and hyperbole is destroying more relationships than if they would allow it and educate about safe usage.


Agree with every word.
BH im so thankful that our Rav/Rosh Yeshiva takes the stance of educating how to use a smartphone l'tov. He himself has a smartphone, his shiurim are uploaded and sent via whatsapap chat...his wife, the Rebbetzin, uses whatsapp for our shidduchim whatsapp group, as well as another one where tehillim can literally be said around the clock for various yeshuous.

BH we are raising our children to view technology as parve, with the ability to be either totally treif, or totally kosher. Just like with other things we take extra care, common sense, and precautions based on our Rav's guidance, in an effort to keep them perfectly kosher, so too with our technology. Exactly the same. My blender is not inherently traif. My smartphone is not inherently treif. Or a horrible evil.
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asmileaday




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:48 pm
little neshamala wrote:
Agree with every word.
BH im so thankful that our Rav/Rosh Yeshiva takes the stance of educating how to use a smartphone l'tov. He himself has a smartphone, his shiurim are uploaded and sent via whatsapap chat...his wife, the Rebbetzin, uses whatsapp for our shidduchim whatsapp group, as well as another one where tehillim can literally be said around the clock for various yeshuous.

BH we are raising our children to view technology as parve, with the ability to be either totally treif, or totally kosher. Just like with other things we take extra care, common sense, and precautions based on our Rav's guidance, in an effort to keep them perfectly kosher, so too with our technology. Exactly the same. My blender is not inherently traif. My smartphone is not inherently treif. Or a horrible evil.


Beautifully said.
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asmileaday




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:50 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
I doubt you’d still be so casual about it if what happened to my friend happened to you- she caught her young teen son accessing [filth] on it. Still a great thing?


Is anyone denying that it's a tool that can also be used for horrible stuff? No.
Banning it and making it into a monster will not prevent teenage boys from sneaking around with it and watching inappropriate stuff.
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amother




Blush
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:50 pm
asmileaday wrote:
So instead of bashing and banning EDUCATE. (Not you, but the Rabbonim that ban it.)
They are doing such a disservice by making it out to be this humongous monster where if you just look at the screen you're already damaged.
We need more awareness and education on how to use it effectively and healthily. Especially for the older teenaged boys and girls.
They will get one eventually, let's face it. Educate them on safe usage.
/rant over

Oh actually it's not over. My Mom is one of those brainwashed to think that if you so much glance at a smartphone you're going straight to h*ll. I can't show her pictures of my kids or a cute video or a funny meme. She most definitely wouldn't do a video call with her grandkids who don't live in the same city. Talk about destroying relationships. This whole extreme ban and hyperbole is destroying more relationships than if they would allow it and educate about safe usage.


My mom is the SAME way. just note though that I have a smartphone but all I can do on it is talk and text and waze. I blocked everything else.
my mom still things I'm OTD seriously. she has tears in her eyes when she sees me holding it
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little neshamala




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:53 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
My issue with smartphones is that I feel like I cannot pull my husband away from it. Everything he watches or reads is kosher (I.e. educational clips, voice notes with friends) so that’s not my issue. It’s just that I have to compete with a phone and the phone gets more time then me. When I bring it up he claims that he needs to relax after a day of work and that’s his way of chilling. But fact is that the phone still gets more attention then me and yes that’s hurtful. Why should he want to play a board game with me or so some activity together if he can watch something fascinating on his phone. It is very very hard.


This is a very real issue-but the issue itself is self control, and if you think about it, it manifests itself in many many different ways.
People cant stop looking at their phones.
People cant stop overeating.
People cant stop gossipping.
People cant stop online shopping.
Etc etc.
All of these have the potential to seriously damage relationships, as well as ones self.
The bottom line to master is self control, whatever area it's in.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:58 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
I doubt you’d still be so casual about it if what happened to my friend happened to you- she caught her young teen son accessing [filth] on it. Still a great thing?


Meh.
P-rn viewage was nice and strong, even among yeshiva guys, a mere 10-15 years ago, and there were no smartphones then. Yes the smartphone makes it easier, but dont think it wasnt a HUGE and very prevalent issue before. It was. My husband says its like his classmates just had to take 10 extra steps in order to view it, as opposed to 2. Sure 2 is a lot simpler, but 10 was easy enough, and plenty of guys had easy access.
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amother




Khaki
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 7:01 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
I doubt you’d still be so casual about it if what happened to my friend happened to you- she caught her young teen son accessing [filth] on it. Still a great thing?


In a different generation he would have found [filth] in a different way. Nothing new under the sun.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 7:08 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
In a different generation he would have found [filth] in a different way. Nothing new under the sun.
this. The N.Y. subway stations had news stands and every new stand in the city sold the [filth] magazines. The men and bachurim used to buy them and hide them in brown paper bags. (Even before the days of the Internet ) . The magazines were passed around yeshiva dorms.
My son’s Rosh yeshiva requested that my husband buy my son a smart phone Of course it’s filtered. He teaches the boys how to live in the real world and face the nisyonos we have today, in regard to shmiras aynayim etc.
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