What makes you a good mother?

Squash

Tue, Jan 29 2008, 2:33 pm

Y'know I must've read this thread about 5 times. Am I the only one who is having such a hard time coming up with something?

This is really bothering me btw. Now this feeling of not being a good mother is being validated. embarrassed

chavs

Tue, Jan 29 2008, 2:50 pm

These are mine in no particular order

I have a loving and communicative marriage.
I try to make sure my son has his 5 a day.
I try to make sure that all the different parts of my sons brain get stimulated.
I bake with him.
I laugh with him.
I talk with him.
I hug him and and affectionate with him.
I try to make sure to always be there for him.
I discipline him. No is always no for example.
I try to always keep my word.
I teach him manners.
We say brochos together.
We watch videos of the Rebbe together.
We sing niggunim together.
I try to limit my phone calls as well when he is awake.
I tell him I love him.
We talk about h-Shem (to the extent that is appropriate with a 2 1/2 year old).
I put his safety first. Car seat, plug covers, hold hands in the street and in public etc.
I try to be tznius around him.
I try to give tzedokoh with him regularly.
I read with him and sing with him.

ChossidMom

Tue, Jan 29 2008, 2:52 pm

Come on Squash!
Do you ever touch your kids? Do you feed them and nurture their bodies?
Do you ever daven with them? Do you ever tell them you love them? Do you ever hug them? I, for example, am so not a kisser with the older ones. But, so what? I show them I love them in other ways.
I think you really have to dig deep and come up with some stuff (you don't necessarily have to share it...)
You can do it, girl!

amother

Tue, Jan 29 2008, 8:07 pm

chavs wrote:

I try to make sure my son has his 5 a day.

Whassthat?

Quote:

I try to make sure that all the different parts of my sons brain get stimulated.

You know all the different parts? shock

You sound devoted. Smile

Squash

Tue, Jan 29 2008, 8:22 pm

So at chosidmom's urging I looked deep within myself and here' what I've come up with so far:

I greet my kids with a huge hhhhhhhhheeeeeeelllllooooooo and a hug and kiss when they come home from school.

I prepare a plate of cut up fruits on the table so they have something healthful to munch on as soon as they get home.

I set out their clothes at night so the morning is a bit more organized and less stressful.

I try to get them to have an egg for breakfast so they start their day with protein.

sometimes I blow dry my daughter's hair on thursday nights (she's almost 6 and it's a major treat for her).

I don't give my kids junk during the week - on shabbos they get like one taffy or lolly or some such.

I'm currently trying so hard to get everyone to eat healthier.

I daven every morning when I wake up (right after modeh ani) for Hashem to help me stay calm and be loving, kind, warm, considerate, a good mother and a good wife all day.

okay, starting to feel a bit better. Smile

Imaonwheels

Tue, Jan 29 2008, 11:35 pm

I would love to do the fun parts of the job and I used to. Today I only have teenage boys and am the only one who loves them enough to discipline them. I am the witch who makes them get up, makes them cut their hair, makes them go to school, even.

I am a good parent because I sit and talk with them. Because I believe in them even when their every other sentence is "Ein li koach". I don't dig in their kishkes and I give them room.

mimivan

Tue, Jan 29 2008, 11:49 pm

I am a good mother when I am always trying to improve my relationship with my kids and am not satisfied with the status quo.

When things are "too easy" something is usually wrong (I am probably on "cruise control' when a particular area needs my attention.)

ChossidMom

Tue, Jan 29 2008, 11:50 pm

Squash wrote:

I prepare a plate of cut up fruits on the table so they have something healthful to munch on as soon as they get home.

Don't laugh. I learned something here!

Quote:

I daven every morning when I wake up (right after modeh ani) for Hashem to help me stay calm and be loving, kind, warm, considerate, a good mother and a good wife all day.

I REALLY learned something here!

This thread is turning into a WINNER. Thanks to Ribbie and all the posters.
It's helping me to see what a great mother I am (since I do alot of the stuff women have mentioned....) Very Happy

Ruchel

Wed, Jan 30 2008, 5:26 am

I kiss her all the time.
I say shema and mode ani in front of her, morning and night
I invent parodies of songs for her, and she laughs, but probably more at the faces I pull than the weird lyrics LOL
I am a stay at home mom
I still refuse to give in to the pressure of sending her out “to teach her life”
I hardly leave her without me, except the obvious (toilets, shower)
I go out with her a lot. Even in “weird” places for a baby.
When a simcha or event has a baby sitter, I don’t send her. It has happened that she was the only kid left in the room, but I know she has more fun with me.
I take tons of pics and videos.

chavs

Wed, Jan 30 2008, 7:18 am

I still refuse to give in to the pressure of sending her out “to teach her life” I still refuse to give in to the pressure of sending her out “to teach her life”

I think that's really great because for you thats not easy, I just wanted to say I admire that.

I hardly leave her without me, except the obvious (toilets, shower)

I know the feeling! I have to go, and ds is pounding down the door, it doesnt make "going" easy!!!

Tamiri

Wed, Jan 30 2008, 7:44 am

I don't know whether I am a good mother or not, but one good thing about me, along with my husband who is the father: we are never at a loss for what to do right by our children. We are always strong and come up with solutions to their issues, B'H and nothing there should ever change poo poo.
Whatever the case may be, we will help them find a way to succeed, on their own. We will find the keilim to allow them to get where they need to be. We have, if I say so myself, done amazing things for different children of ours, when needed. I am not sure that every parent would and could do what we have done.
Our kids run the age gamut from 3 till 22 1/2 so "been there, done that".

Squash

Tue, Feb 12 2008, 10:22 pm

At the end of a long, exhausting day I'm so glad to feel like a great mother!

I took my dd and 3 (!) of her friends to Chuk E Cheese's. They had a grand time and came home with some shmatte prizes and their beautiful tiara cups.

AND although I was extremely exhausted by the time we got home and the boys started coming home I was able to stay calm and happy and smiley for the rest of the day and evening/bedtime. Boruch Hashem!!!

I'm so thankful for that and it's a great feeling!!! LOL

happymom

Tue, Feb 12 2008, 11:13 pm

I feel good knowing that my kids and family are my first priority, most important then anything/anyone else. So I feel I am being a good mother when (an example of this) I dont talk on the phone while I am with my kids, or eating dinner with my family, or my daughter is telling me about her day etc... I like that I treat my kids with respect, and dicipline them in a positive way, (for example if my daughter is doing something wrong, I deal with it the way I would want someone to deal with me If I was doing something wrong) gently, and in a non embarrasing way that can motivate her to learn and want to do whats right. I like the fact that I look at my kids as precious neshomos given to me to guide them towards making the right choices, and therefore, when they do the wrong thing, I dont get upset or judge them, I just gently help them learn the right way...the thing I am most thankful for is that I do not yell at my kids.I speak to them.

gryp

Wed, Feb 13 2008, 9:55 am

I'm obviously not perfect all the time, although I try to be, but I take good care of my kids' needs and well-being in all areas- physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Physically- They always have clean clothing, clean faces, clean diapers, food and drinks 24 hours whenever they're hungry or thirsty, and bathed 5-6/7 days a week.
Emotionally- I care about how they feel, and don't disregard their feelings just because I'm too tired or not feeling well, etc. I encourage them in the right direction and teach them to be menchen.
Mentally- I set up challenges for them to accomplish and help them succeed. I teach them to think for themselves and be responsible instead of allowing them to learn that I will do everything for them if they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves.
Spiritually- I teach them Yiddishkeit actively and passively. Their main and primary chinuch is from home, not school. I also better myself, always striving towards new goals, so I can be a better role model for them.

I should really write "we" for all of this, because I couldn't succeed in all of this without my husband. We are on the same page in all of this and keep a home with an atmosphere of Sholom and Ahavas Yisroel (and Hiskashrus to the Rebbe).

momtomany

Sat, Feb 16 2008, 8:23 pm

*I make sure they eat healthy food, no candy, and (almost) always a salad for supper.
*I listen to them whenever they tell me their long stories.
*I ask them about their day at school and try to find out always if there is something they are embarrased to mention, I make sure they are comfortable sharing anything with me and I wont be angry. for example sometimes they get candies and eat them when they know they shouldnt. I make them feel safe to confess it by not yelling at them about it, though I do show my disapproval with a sad face.
*I am always teaching them. throughout the day I use every opportunity to teach them something new.
*we try to always eat dinner as a family
*I express my excitement and proudness (?) when my son comes home with a prize or got the student of the week.
*out of the blue I take my kids and hug them and tell them I love them so much and they are such good kids. I make them feel special
*when my oldest started to feel superiour to his younger brother and would boss him around, I quickly made the younger one feel that he's good too, and is just as capable as big bro. I let big bro know that little bro didnt appreciate being told what to do, and now they work as a team without anyone lording it over the other.
*I try to have patience with them, even when its really really hard.