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On Fridays I yell (help me stop)

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 1:55 pm
Fridays are so freaking hard. My 5 and a half and 2 and a half year old are home by 12:30. Cleaning woman leaves at 1. The second they eat lunch no matter what it is, they make a mess. Chicken soup, bagel, pasta, cheese, cereal- you name it, they make a crumby or greasy mess for me to clean. Then they fight a bit, or mess up the folded laundry that my husband hasn't yet put away (I know it's stupid of him to leave it out but he won't change, he just gets angry when the kids mess with it). And make more mess. I get so angry, and spend the day bending down to pick things up + yelling. I want to stop yelling but it's so hard...
They get to watch a video on Friday but that's not much of an incentive for them, doesn't seem to get them to stop making a mess. (I'm pretty sure the message is age appropriate and it's usually just regular kid-eating-mess, not on-purpose-mess, but it pisses me off because it's Friday and re cleaning lady was JUST here.)

I have no energy to take them out of the house on Friday (I'm late in pregnancy, then ill iy"H be nursing a newborn and I get exhausted on Friday).

I just need to stop yelling.
Argh.
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ellacoe




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 2:58 pm
It sounds like Fridays are giving you a hard time. What can you do to make it easier? From your post it seems that the mess that the kids make with lunch and toys on Fridays are causing you the most difficulty. What can you do to make less lunch time less messy or easier to clean up? It could be changing the menu, or laying down a disposable plastic table cloth that you can just roll up and throw out. Perhaps think about some changes you could make around lunch and playtime on Fridays that would lessen the mess.
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 2:59 pm
ellacoe wrote:
It sounds like Fridays are giving you a hard time. What can you do to make it easier? From your post it seems that the mess that the kids make with lunch and toys on Fridays are causing you the most difficulty. What can you do to make less lunch time less messy or easier to clean up? It could be changing the menu, or laying down a disposable plastic table cloth that you can just roll up and throw out. Perhaps think about some changes you could make around lunch and playtime on Fridays that would lessen the mess.


I agree with this. When I pre plan and prepare myself mentally for what can go wrong, I barely yell.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:02 pm
Thank you- tablecloth is a great idea. I'm going to buy a box on Sunday!!!

It's also the general stress of having to have them bathed by shabbos (they run around etc and I can be physically exhausting to get them to the bath, bathe them, dress them and cut their nails). Dh is not available to help due to work, and we cannot hire any help. But I think a simple little tablecloth will do a lot of good for my sanity! Thanks
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:10 pm
Will your 5 year old shower? I find it to be soooo much easier then baths. All of my kids 3,5 and 9 shower. My oldest was a bed wetter and I could not bathe him before school so I taught him to take a shower instead and now all of my kids take them. My 9 and 5 year olds shower themselves so I just have to help my 3 year old
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amother




Cyan
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:14 pm
I used to get very nervous on Fridays. Kids, mess all over, laundry etc etc.
I started shabbos preps on Thursday no matter summer when zman is late or especially winter when zman is early. Most foods are cooked on Thursday: fish, soup, kugels, etc. And I also make sure to set the table. By the time Friday rolls around it's baths and small last minute things.
When my kids were younger, I used to bathe them Thursday nights for shabbos in the winter and only if they needed it on Friday. Otherwise, Motzei shabbos was another bath from after shabbos.
Also a plastic tablecloth for friday lunch is a must!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:25 pm
amother [ Cyan ] wrote:
I used to get very nervous on Fridays. Kids, mess all over, laundry etc etc.
I started shabbos preps on Thursday no matter summer when zman is late or especially winter when zman is early. Most foods are cooked on Thursday: fish, soup, kugels, etc. And I also make sure to set the table. By the time Friday rolls around it's baths and small last minute things.
When my kids were younger, I used to bathe them Thursday nights for shabbos in the winter and only if they needed it on Friday. Otherwise, Motzei shabbos was another bath from after shabbos.
Also a plastic tablecloth for friday lunch is a must!


Food is all cooked on Thursday. All I'm doing is warming up food. Thursday nights are way too hectic for baths, and I'm the type who can't stand sticky shabbos party hands Wink so baths on Friday are non negotiable.
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Stars




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:27 pm
Don't cut their nails on friday! I do it on whatever evening is the calmest one of the week. Second if it's possible to switch the cleaning lady's hours so she's still there for at least an hour after the kids come home do that.
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:32 pm
If you must bathe, don't cut nails. Save that for another time. And make it part of your routine to move the laundry basket into your room or an inaccessible area in the morning.

But really, it's Friday afternoon. The Satan works extra hard to get us then. I sometimes think of it like a computer game. I must move through every task and complete them, but the Satan is the villain, following me and trying to get me. Each time it does, I lose "life points"- because our quality of life goes down. I am determined to not lose to him and complete my mission.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Jan 24 2020, 4:12 pm
When I need things to be a certain way. I give the kids a picnic on a disposable table cloth on the kitchen floor. It really minimizes most of the mess for me.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Jan 25 2020, 1:43 pm
Weather permitting, have them eat outside if you have a balcony or fenced yard. Indoors, I second the plastic picnic on the floor.

While they are busy eating, can you put the laundry away, or at least move it somewhere safe?

No baths. Have them in the tub, soap them up, and then shower them off. Zehu. Try to make it a game if you can.

The second they start fighting, put on the video. Better yet, do it the second BEFORE they start fighting. Is there something particular they fight about, or is it just anything that sets them off? Try to troubleshoot in advance.

Definitely keep Shabbos food simple and easy to prepare in advance. During the week make double batches of things that freeze well. If you have the oven on anyway, one pan of chicken cooks just as fast as two pans. Same with kugels, etc.

In my marriage to my ex, he said exactly one nice thing to me in all those years. He said "I'd rather have canned soup for Shabbos, than have a stressed out wife."
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Sat, Jan 25 2020, 10:18 pm
Move baths to.thursday night until pesach time. Only do friday baths in the sticky seasons. I will stick a kid on a bath if hes very dirty and juisdo a shower neck down. Face wash before entering shower so no bending. Hair doesnt neeed to get washed as often unless baby witth stiicky hands
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amother




Natural
 

Post  Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:25 am
Can the cleaning lady come in later so she leaves closer to 3:30
This way she can clean the kitchen later and maybe have enough time to spruce up the bathroom
Or maybe get some extra hrs.
You can put away your husband’s laundry
Do as much as possible on Thursday so you can sit with your kids
What about charts and incentives
When my kids were little they would come home
Eat lunch
Shower and dress
Then we would cuddle in my bed with a Parsha/kodesh video- we would “rest” together
Some times they actually fell asleep.
I would gently remove myself and get the food oven blech ready
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:31 am
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
Can the cleaning lady come in later so she leaves closer to 3:30
This way she can clean the kitchen later and maybe have enough time to spruce up the bathroom
Or maybe get some extra hrs.
You can put away your husband’s laundry
Do as much as possible on Thursday so you can sit with your kids
What about charts and incentives
When my kids were little they would come home
Eat lunch
Shower and dress
Then we would cuddle in my bed with a Parsha/kodesh video- we would “rest” together
Some times they actually fell asleep.
I would gently remove myself and get the food oven blech ready


Ooh that sounds lovely. Where did you find such videos?

Thursday: my thursdays are packed as is, I go to sleep exhausted and do as much as I can but cannot do any more than that. The food is prepped and ready to be put right into the pot/oven, the laundry is washed or ready to be washed, etc.

I ordered tablecloths, I can see that really helping me. I won't get so mad when they make a giant mess anymore!
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abound




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:36 am
Expect the mess, If you keep expecting it to be clean when every week it does not stay that way, then expect the MESS! If you know what is coming and do not expect things to be different then you will not find it that upsetting.
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healthymom1




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:47 am
Bathe them Thursday night. I used to take my son in the shower with me cuz there was no time but now that I have 2... I just give them Thursday night. No reason to rush around when I dont have time.
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