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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
5 yr old takes forever to decide anything



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 9:52 am
I am getting very frustrated with my five year old. She takes forever to make the simplest decision. Kids are on vacation now and I am letting them watch videos. It was just her turn to pick. It took her at least minutes. When I let her pick a snack bag - also five minutes. Before bed I let them pick a Music video that is five minutes or less she takes forever and time is of essence then. How do I get her to make up her mind faster?
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Rachel Shira




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 9:57 am
Some of those things are time sensitive and some not. For the time sensitive things - like a video before bed - can she pick it earlier in the day, without the time pressure? Or tell her - in advance - that later when it’s time to pick a video, she has two minutes to choose one and if she can’t make up her mind, it will be someone else’s turn that time. A visual cue like a sand timer or phone timer could either stress her out or motivate her, you can try it and see.
For the snack, that seems like something you could let her take her time with. Everyone else can choose first and then you can leave her with the basket to make her decision slowly.
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Rachel Shira




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 9:58 am
She might be overwhelmed with too many choices. If you narrow it down to 2-3, she might be able to make the decisions faster.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 10:17 am
Teach her how to make choices. She may have a problem with how to pick something.
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chasdie Hashem




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 10:18 am
Lol
It’s nerve racking-also have 5 yr old girl like that
I try to do like others mention
Is she also the type to save e/t for Tom ?
Like I found daughters sandwich from airplane under her pillow to save for df day?
& Shabbas party she eats last?..
If yes then it’s basically All same mindset
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 11:32 am
flowerpower wrote:
Teach her how to make choices. She may have a problem with how to pick something.


How do I teach her?

What do I do when she is taking forever? I don’t want to just decide it for she seriously tests my patience. I can buy a sand timer but what happens when time runs out? She doesn’t get said thing or I pick? I can envision a huge meltdown but hey then maybe she will learn....
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 11:35 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do I teach her?

What do I do when she is taking forever? I don’t want to just decide it for she seriously tests my patience. I can buy a sand timer but what happens when time runs out? She doesn’t get said thing or I pick? I can envision a huge meltdown but hey then maybe she will learn....

Yes exactly. When timer runs out you pick
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malki2




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 11:37 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do I teach her?

What do I do when she is taking forever? I don’t want to just decide it for she seriously tests my patience. I can buy a sand timer but what happens when time runs out? She doesn’t get said thing or I pick? I can envision a huge meltdown but hey then maybe she will learn....


Give her a choice of 2 options and tell her that she has 1 minute to decide before you decide for her. Some kids can’t deal with too many choices. (Some adults also!) Maybe also help her through the decision process like going through the consequences of each decision (unless it’s something simple like choosing between 2 snacks).
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chasdie Hashem




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 12:38 pm
Malki2 your right-I do that as well sometimes,but then she gets so aNoxious tensed & emotional frustrated which isn’t healthy either-
It’s impr to Try explain few times when she’s in a calmer mood -how impt it’s to make OWN decisions in short span times & if it didn’t work out the way she wanted to when she chose it(ex:didn’t taste so good so should’ve chosen other one...) it was BASHERT & gam z ltoiva

& when comes lmase -hint her that Nows the time to quickly decide ....
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