Most awkward things people said to you

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amother

Amber

Thu, Jan 30 2020, 10:27 pm

I’m going through IF. One year simchas Torah night in shul a lady who she herself didn’t have kids for maybe 15 years said to me,- I guess simchas Torah is reason enough to get you out of the house- as if to say I’m depressed and I never go out. Like how exactly would she know if I do or don’t go out?

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:07 pm

A couple of years ago we went through a very hard winter. DH was suddenly very sick and needed to be hospitalized and had major surgery. Then DD caught a serious bone infection that needed surgery and hospitalization. We basically went from one thing to the next. I can't tell you how many people said to me that hashem is clearly trying to send me a message that we must take on kabala upon ourselves. Someone even told me that it's because we have a smart phone! If you can't offer support, just be quiet!

amother

Linen

Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ugh. I can’t get it out of my head.
I was once at a chasuna
And I was enjoying a plate of pasta and sesame chicken and a bit of fruit sitting alone at a table when a woman and her teenage daughter sat next to me.
This was the food before the chuppah. The woman introduced herself and her daughter, asked me where I’m from etc etc and once she got that out the way and I continued eating (I was quite hungry) she says, in a I’m better than you tone,
“I’m teaching my daughter how to eat HEALTHILY.”

Uhm??????!!!!

I blush really really red.

But it doesn’t stop there!
She proceeded to say how she gives her daughter salads and other healthy stuff and wouldn’t let her eat so much carbs and starches while staring occasionally at my half eaten plate.

At that point I look at the daughter and I notice how incredibly skinny she was compared to me.

I’m by no meats fat, but I have a nice curvy shape. But back then I was then just a few weeks married. Let’s say I gained 27 pounds during my pregnancy and lost it post baby. Of course I’d have a slightly flabby belly! But back then, I was not pregnant. I had the same body shape minus the slightly flabby belly.

I nod politely and I couldn’t eat anything anymore.

I came home hungry, and cried to my husband.

I know she had good intentions, but just because I have a little extra shape on my hips and chest doesn’t mean that I’m making unhealthy choices or that I’m unhealthy or overweight.

This is why I have body issues now.
And the constant fat shaming and fat loss ads in frum magazines don’t help either.

Thank you woman for making me view my body despite its beauty as “unhealthy”!

#bringbackthecurves

OP, you are very kind to assume this.
I can't know her intentions or thoughts, but her words and actions were awful. I'm sorry that happened and really very sorry for her daughter who probably has an eating disorder from her mother.

For my most awkward....

Well, I was living in a place where there are very few frum jews so a non-jew wouldn't see a woman in a tichel and think: Jew. He'd just see a woman with a scarf on her head for some reason.

So I walk into a shoemaker and I'm greated with "Hi, I love your head scarf. Do you have cancer?" This is said with a giant ear to ear grin. I guess he thought I was in chemo but to ask a stranger such a thing with a giant smile like that? WEIRD!

amother

Pearl

Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:33 pm

I just moved into my appt after getting married I was skinniest I ever was and the neighbor walks out her door looks at me and asks when im Due.. im like what im.not . I was wearing a slightly big shirt and a riva Karen skirt .

I'm preganant and im.carrying small in my 8th month.. a random person in work I don't even know her name walks up to me "when r u due that your walking so funny ?" I'm like what.

A few weeks before was wearing a big sweater dress the only thing was that the dress kept sticking to my stockings was randomly staticy ..not enough to wear a whole slip.. and someine complimented me on it that I look so comfy.. and someone else goes well it's not tzanua to show your form . I was self contious the rest of the day . It was a huge sweater dress.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:39 pm

I got married didn't get preganant in 3 seconds .. a girl walks up to.me hi!!! How's the kids ??? I'm like what kids? She's like ur baby!im.like I don't have..........
Felt so bad for her lol

amother

Yellow

Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:44 pm

We arrived at the hotel on erev shabbos for my brother's shabbos sheva brochos. I was very hungry, having not eaten all day. We went to our room to drop off our stuff, and then went down to the welcome room where erev shabbos refreshments were set up. First I filled up a plate for Dh and served him. Then I saw my in laws coming into the room and sit down at our table. So, like the good daughter in law that I am, I filled a plate for my father in law and then for my mother in law. By the time I got a plate for myself, my husband was basically done eating (he's a fast eater.)
I took a large piece of kugel, some farfel and whatever else was being served and started eating. (I was starving at this point.)My father in law says to me, "you won't have any room for the seudah tonight."
I turned beet red.
Honestly, he often says awkward things unintentionally. He was probably just trying to make conversation, but I was embarrassed by the insinuation. He also may have thought that this was my second or third helping, since they came in after we did and dh was in middle of eating already.

amother

Yellow

Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:51 pm

My neighbor's single sister was visiting her and she came over to my apartment to borrow something. My 3 year old son went to the door and said "you're fat!"
The girl turned crimson. For a second I was speechless. then I tried apologizing, but she fled.
She was NOT even fat. And my son had never said that to anyone before or after so the whole thing was weird. I called my neighbor to apologize and she said her sister was so embarrassed and upset. 😟

malki2

Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:57 pm

Most of these do not qualify as “awkward”. They qualify as “absolutely zero common sense”. Sad to see how many people in this world were born without brains. As Albert Einstein said, “Two things are infinite: the Universe and human stupidity. And I’m not so sure about the Universe.”

amother

Taupe

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 12:15 am

I was at a kiddush at shul, took some food on my plate when a stranger behind me said that’s a lot of mezonos Mad

she meant it as a conversation starter but I sure felt judged

amother

Apricot

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 12:20 am

My sil was talking about the government help her mother was getting. I said "how does one even know to ask for that kind of assistance? I would never even think that something like that is offered"

SIL responded "Intelligent peopke would know"

(And I always considered myself smart before this)

amother

Gold

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 12:47 am

malki2 wrote:

I take it you have never, ever said a stupid thing?

amother

Ecru

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 1:30 am

When pretied bandanas came out and I started wearing them my Mil hated the look.
She tells me "you look like a cancer patient".
Note this is a few months after I was diagnosed and had surgery for cancer (no chemo b"h). She knew about it but it was kept secret from the rest of the family.
My jaw was literally hanging open. Like, did she really just say that????

asmileaday

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 1:33 am

"Oiy you had a miscarriage?"
Said to me when my youngest was about 7 or 8.
I said "no, I'm just fat and lost some weight".
Gosh she felt worse than me!

amother

Blue

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 2:22 am

Someone came over to me when I was @ the gym and asked me why I always look anxious that I never look calm and then she added she's also anxious sime times but a lot calmer then me , tho I did not even feel anxious when she told it to me. Now im complexed to go back to the gym and I didnt go back the next day.

Rappel

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 8:23 am

FIL phoned me up when we were married 9 months and congratulated me that we didn't have a shotgun wedding.

I was furious and embarrassed, but in his world, that was the only way he could make sense of a short engagement and then getting pregnant right away. LOL

amother

Forestgreen

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 8:28 am

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

Many people are only intelligent when it comes to applying for all types of assistance they're not eligible for.

amother

Forestgreen

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 8:30 am

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

I don't think it's rude or awkward when you're in your 8th month and someone asks you when you're due.
Sometimes we think we carry small or don't show but we really do.

amother

Blush

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 8:49 am

When I was in my upper 20’s and still single a married girl in my office said to me, “we decided that you’re not getting engaged because you’re too picky “. When I finally did get engaged I did not invite her to my wedding.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 9:03 am

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

Come on, isn't that a compliment? Everyone over the age of 23 who isn't married yet is either defective and not desirable or to picky. There is no other reason in the world one wouldn't be married (no such thing as not having met the right person yet, not being ready yet, not wanting to be, having a different set of priorities or goals at this time in your life- just to name a few, these ideas are far from comprehensive). Clearly she was complementing you. She was saying that you were beautiful, smart, competent, confident, nice, and every other quality one would look for in a zivug. The reason you are not married is because you are picky, not that nobody wants you. See, she is lovely and said nothing wrong.

Please take my comment as tongue-in-cheek. I am by no means justifying or OK what she said. It is not cool.

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 9:09 am

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

Many people are only intelligent when it comes to applying for all types of assistance they're not eligible for.

You’re bad,
but so right.

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