Define dysfunction

amother

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 2:09 pm

Does dysfunction have a definition?
Is it your own projection? Is it universal?
Is it not having decent meals for the family but a warm mother?
Is it having warm dinner ready every night, clean clothing, but yelling mother?

Just wondering....

amother

Orchid

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 2:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's a loaded question.

I'm in bed.
My shabbos isnt cooked yet.
I have to unpack my 6 box order.

My children are sitting around the kitchen table reading a book about wolves. It fascinates them.

They ate cereal and milk for lunch.

I am so exhausted.
I work hard all week.
I crashed prematurely this week. Should've done the shabbos prep before falling into bed.

Is this dysfunctional?
I guess for many it is.

Do I think its dysfunctional?
No.

Do my kids feel they're growing up dysfunctional?
I dont think so.
We always have their backs.
We work hard so they are not hungry, they are dressed decent and they have money when they need.

They have a loving father and mother.

I spend money to discuss issues with a proffessional so I have an outside opinion.

I can be up schmoozing and laughing with my teenagers till the wee hours of the night on Shabbos (and on some other days.)
Dysfunctional? My children definitely dont think so.

To the rest of humanity- if you judge me dysfunctional- Go Fly A Kite

flowerpower

Fri, Jan 31 2020, 3:28 pm

It means lacking attention and love from the parents
Feeling like you don’t matter
Going to school dirty, not having homework done, missing the school bus
Not getting normal healthy meals for the most part- for the most part!
Raising yourself from a very young age when parents should be there to guide you.

LovesHashem

Sat, Feb 01 2020, 1:29 pm

Dysfunctional means not getting kids needs met.

- Emotional needs, like a healthy mom who is there for you and loves you and shows affection. Treats you well, not yelling etc. Sending a kid to social skills classes or therapy if necessary too.
- Physical needs - a warm bed, warm dinners (most of the time) food + snacks available and cooked for them, clean clothing that is from this century.

heidi

Sat, Feb 01 2020, 1:42 pm

OP raises an interesting point.
I tend to agree with the descriptions of dysfunction posted.
But what if Mom and Dad are uptight?
About everything.
Shoes off by the front door.
No snacking ever.
Cleanliness might just usurp Godliness.
Kids are clean, well dressed, well fed.
They're also scared.
Is that dysfunctional?