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New! The Imamother Sarcasm Squad!
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Feb 03 2020, 6:06 pm
You girls are all insanely funny.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Mon, Feb 03 2020, 7:03 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
Looking for a makeup zex artist in Brooklyn ...


Rolling Laughter
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 6:08 pm
Help, I am freaking out. It was before I had Imamother and I didn't know better. Years ago I wore drop earring that were apparently too long. I brought shame and tumah on my family. Now it has caused me to have an incestuous relationship with one son, and my other son is slender and wears tight pants and people think he is "happy ". My oldest daughter, who is married walks around her house in a shell. She doesn't have kids yet, I don't know if it is a bracha so that a nursing infant doesn't see her form, or if it is an anti-segulah, keeping her from being pregnant. And my young Daughter, Rachmunus etzlan, in her valiant and zealous attempts to restore kedusha to our family, only wanted to be super tnius and wears tiny stud earrings and in her shidduch picture wore pearl studs! I don't need to tell you how that panned out☹️.
Help! Can anyone recommend a therapist?
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 6:15 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
Dressing up for pushing? What are you talking about? Can't Believe It

Here I thought you are talking about lingerie in the bedroom lol
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 6:54 pm
Some imamothers are seriously funny.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 7:01 pm
Really, a hug?
I hope that is someone sending love and support for my family.
This is supposed to be a safe ( for sarcasm) space.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 7:17 pm
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
Really, a hug?
I hope that is someone sending love and support for my family.
This is supposed to be a safe ( for sarcasm) space.

As long as your shell covers your watchamacallits a hug is appropriately ok
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amother
Blue


 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 7:45 pm
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
Come to think of it- I’ve been meaning to ask-
Should I leave my husband?


Before I can answer that for you, I need to know the following:

Does he leave his socks on the floor and do you pick them up? (Read the surrendered wife NOW)
Are you on birth control? (which is assur and probably causing your marriage woes)
Do you breastfeed or bottle feed? (whichever you are doing is wrong)
Do you walk around in a shell? (You’ll lose custody if you do for obvious reasons)
What are your views on Donald Trump? (you deserve this for supporting/not supporting him)
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 9:25 pm
Quote:
Rachmunus etzlan
This is a very cute expression. Not sure if you made it up on purpose or it's one of those malapropisms?

So, see, the way I've always heard it (YMMV) was Rachmana Litzlan which is Aramaic (not to be confused with Yiddish or Hebrew) and I think if means, Hashem should listen to their prayers or something like that (but I am sure someone who knows Aramaic better than I can correct me) - but is similarly used to mean "G-d forbid" or "lo aleynu velo aleychem".

Whereas you've very cutely done a Hebrew phrase which means "pity on them" or more accurately, "pity BY THEM" which is, of course, a whole 'nother thread, but of course the essential meaning is about the same.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 11:08 pm
penguin wrote:
Quote:
Rachmunus etzlan
This is a very cute expression. Not sure if you made it up on purpose or it's one of those malapropisms?

So, see, the way I've always heard it (YMMV) was Rachmana Litzlan which is Aramaic (not to be confused with Yiddish or Hebrew) and I think if means, Hashem should listen to their prayers or something like that (but I am sure someone who knows Aramaic better than I can correct me) - but is similarly used to mean "G-d forbid" or "lo aleynu velo aleychem".

Whereas you've very cutely done a Hebrew phrase which means "pity on them" or more accurately, "pity BY THEM" which is, of course, a whole 'nother thread, but of course the essential meaning is about the same.

I may have misheard/misinterpreted the phrase, but I think that is what it is. I do not believe I have made anything up (or at least not intentionally as I am really not that witty.) I always assumed it was Hebrew and is pity on them, as in "the poor girl". I could be completely mistaken as I am quite far from a linguist, But that is how I have always known it to be.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 11:21 pm
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
Help, I am freaking out. It was before I had Imamother and I didn't know better. Years ago I wore drop earring that were apparently too long. I brought shame and tumah on my family. Now it has caused me to have an incestuous relationship with one son, and my other son is slender and wears tight pants and people think he is "happy ".

I can see that you're working on your tznius b'dibar LOL LOL LOL
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amother
Blue


 

Post Tue, Feb 04 2020, 11:27 pm
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:

Help! Can anyone recommend a therapist?

Bless your heart. I’ve added you to our prayer chain.
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mochamix18




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 05 2020, 12:16 am
I was single till 31. It was definitely the pearl earrings.....
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mig100




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 05 2020, 12:38 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:

Are you on birth control? (which is assur and probably causing your..


What's assur? To be on or OFF bc?

In ima it seems like it's assur to ever get off bc. It also seems like bc resolved all problems and difficulties. Hiding I can't possibly understand why anyone would NOT be on bc. Can u??

What's the question?? Hiding
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Wed, Feb 05 2020, 1:35 am
mig100 wrote:
What's assur? To be on or OFF bc?

Both.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Wed, Feb 05 2020, 8:41 am
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
Both.

Correct. Everything is assur and muttar here. I don’t believe that your Rabbi said it’s okay/not okay. Please post his name and number.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Wed, Feb 05 2020, 8:59 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
Correct. Everything is assur and muttar here. I don’t believe that your Rabbi said it’s okay/not okay. Please post his name and number.

I believe you’re suffering from cognitive dissonance. Please see a trauma informed therapist rather than a rav.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Wed, Feb 05 2020, 9:02 am
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
I believe you’re suffering from cognitive dissonance. Please see a trauma informed therapist rather than a rav.

Don’t you know therapy is a scam? I see a life coach and essential oil healer instead.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Wed, Feb 05 2020, 9:05 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
Don’t you know therapy is a scam? I see a life coach and essential oil healer instead.

Yes. I can see why you need that. I can feel your heart chakra through my screen and it feels all Phlegmy and clogged. Work on that
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 05 2020, 9:17 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
{Disclaimer:

Welcome to The Imamother Sarcasm Squad, founded exclusively for threads that play ring-around-the-posie in the adult version. When a thread about a mundane piece of basic clothing turns into an education fest, or when dressing up for pushing becomes a "thing", well, we step in to manage the situation.

You are welcome to join, no social security number necessary.


Seriously now, did you skip kindergarten? It's ring-around-the-ROSIE.

Rolling Eyes

That explains your whole need for sarcasm, OP. Kingergarten is an important part of a normal childhood. If you were skipped, you need therapy ASAP.
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