S/O Perfect looking women

amother

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 1:50 pm

So I suggested starting a s/o DH expecting perfection thread so here I am!

I do look like the perfect mother always fully dressed and made up, hand bag and sharp shoes. I update my wardrobe every few weeks. I wax all over so I continue giving off that image even in the swimming pool (I go weekly) Im lucky DH looks sharp too because its important to me.

Not trying to brag at all but I very often get the feeling im one of the only ones here with this lifestyle! Like you'd never put me behind those inspirational posts I put up here LOL

Do any of you look like this daily? How do you manage being a good mother and looking all posh and dignified? Do you feel like you need to be this way because you work or maybe opposite, are you able to keep it up because you're a SAHM?

So ill let you in on 1 of my secrets. First of all I take 1 day off - Fridays! not always but very often. Friday is my one and only shlompy day. Which I define as slinky, snood, make up less and casual top. For me its hard to believe women dress this way every day! Doing this once a week already makes me feel ich for some reason.

What are your thoughts? How do you dress, are you at peace with it or would you like to look differently if only circumstances allow you to?

amother

Smokey

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 1:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I do look like the perfect mother always fully dressed and made up, hand bag and sharp shoes. I update my wardrobe every few weeks. I wax all over so I continue giving off that image even in the swimming pool (I go weekly) Im lucky DH looks sharp too because its important to me.

Not trying to brag at all but I very often get the feeling im one of the only ones here with this lifestyle!

Ok then.

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 1:53 pm

can you give us tips on how to look so sharp, pretty and put together? Would you say you have a talent and knack for it, or do you feel like you learned to be this way over time? I would love to be like this but for some reason, maybe because of my dysfunctional upbringing and never being made to feel I was pretty, it's really difficult for me to be so put together and perfect. Any advice?

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:00 pm

I dress down everyday (I'm now a SAHM). I look at women who are perfectly coiffed and do feel a sneaky prick of envy. They really do look wonderful! But I know the truth - its just not a high value for me. If that was my goal and value, I would work to achieve it. I definitely appreciate the aesthetic of it and admire it. But when I put all my eggs in my basket, I know that I am sensory, that I prefer being comfortable, that I dislike the way makeup feels, and that I get tense from being in places or among people where I feel that I am pressured to look a certain way that goes beyond appropriate. So if I had to dress up and wear tights to go to work, I would do that because keeping my job is important. But to dress up and wear tights to please myself?? nope. it just doesn't make my list.

amother

Ruby

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:07 pm

I was exactly like u for years. Then I had 2 kids very close together. They’re both home with me full time. So now I make sure to go out dressed perfectly 2x a week. I do put makeup on everyday even though I will b home all day in snood and slinky. I totally get your feeling of feeling yuck and shlumpy. My older baby will be going to school next year. Can’t wait to have more opportunities to go out dressed up again!

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:08 pm

Wish I hadn't read this post. Now I feel worse about me looking like a half a shmattah every day (I work from home, nobody to impress) but of course I like to look good. And I wish I was able to wax all over but it's way to painful for me. And whose even talking about swimming once a week?? Wow, at least can you impart some wisdom on how to achieve this level of self care?

allthingsblue

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:12 pm

I don't!

I like comfy shoes, I can't afford too many wigs so I wear a tichel during the week, I hate getting dry clean clothing dirty (from cooking or watching the kids), I hate too much makeup (I wear eyeliner and blush but take good care of my skin).
I workout so I am fit and thin.
I can't afford a new wardrobe each season.
I don't like spending time putting on and taking off makeup.
I like being comfy and cute, and looking perfect is not on my list of priorities; luckily Dh loves that about me (and is very similar to me).
But I am happy for you that you look the way you do, because I can see it's important to you and your Dh!

amother

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:18 pm

Disclaimer: Wasn't trying to put others down, just honestly want to know what people out there do. Maybe I have peer pressure and dont realise it...

Actually DH does think I have too much pressure especially the make up part...the rest of it he likes; more expects.

Rappel

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:21 pm

Lol. I used to be fairly put together when I was single. Now that I'm raising a family, however, we simply don't have a "beauty budget." I'm not going to pick between our small, necessary savings and my look. Updated wardrobe, waxing every week? Please! If I ever do have money to burn, then I hope I'll remember to put it somewhere more worthy than make up or hair.

Last edited by Rappel on Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:32 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Black

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:25 pm

Rappel wrote:

But Rappel, who is to say what is "worthy"? Obviously many women would not feel confident and happy without said "beauty budget."

Rappel

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:31 pm

amother [ Black ] wrote:

But Rappel, who is to say what is "worthy"? Obviously many women would not feel confident and happy without said "beauty budget."

I need to respond, but this is going to sound preachy when all typed out. I apologize in advance:

I can put hundreds of dollars into makeup, or I can give it to any cause (soup kitchen, Torah learning, medical assistance etc.) that seems worthy at the time.

דע מעיין באת, ולאן אתה הולך.

When my beautiful body is rotting in the ground, and insects are burrowing into my putrefying flesh, which will make me more happy? That I invested in my looks, or that I used any spare cash I had to help others?

amother

Black

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:32 pm

Rappel wrote:

Hmmm, interesting point

allthingsblue

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:35 pm

Rappel wrote:

It does sound preachy. I'm sure many women give to charity and spend on themselves too.
In Tanach it's clearly expected that women will buy clothing and cosmetics.

It's really not either/or.
We're not talking about multi millions of dollars spent in clothing.

amother

Indigo

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:36 pm

I actually pity people that are always looking polished. As a woman, I know what it takes, timewise and moneywise.

I am slim and look young. I wear a bit of makeup, never in heels, simple clothing..I dont like a jammed closet with junk. I dont like spending unnecessary. I am comfortable and everything is washable. I love it, and so does my husband. He sometimes gets comments that my daughter and me look like sisters.

I dont like getting all dressed up. It looks so fake. Just simple and clean.

allthingsblue

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:37 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

I actually pity people that are always looking polished. As a woman, I know what it takes, timewise and moneywise.

I am slim and look young. I wear a bit of makeup, never in heels, simple clothing..I am comfortabl and everything is washable. I love it, andcso does my husband. He sometimes gets comments that my daughter and me look like sisters.

I dont like getting all dressed up. It looks so fake. Just simple and clean.

I'm very similar to you, except I don't pity perfect looking women because most of them choose it because they like it.
I would only pity women who feel obligated due to peer pressure or pressure from Dh to do it despite their wishes.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:42 pm

Sorry, op, but what you are saying is not realistic for many ppl. You need "extra" money to be able to keep updating your wardrobe and the better makeup that makes women look better...is more expensive too....basically, one needs extra time and money for ....

Also, I'm curious, if you feel "ick" dressing down"" does that mean you "look down" at others who "dress down" or wear no makeup etc....??

thunderstorm

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 2:46 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you doing this for YOURSELF or for someone else?
I for example dress the same indoors and out. Some days I just want to have a full face of makeup and be all dressed up, and I won’t even leave the house and nobody sees me. It’s all for ME. That’s something I can understand. But I also go out in a snood to the grocery with a makeup free face and I’d go to work makeup free too if that was my mood that day. It’s all based on ME and MY feeling. I don’t relate to when people dress for OTHERS and what OTHERS will think of their trendy look. I can’t relate to that . (And I usually could relate to people and their meshugasin . This is one part where I just can’t.)