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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty

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mommy3b2c

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 4:50 pm

I wear leggings, sneakers, and a cute tee shirt or sweatshirt everyday. Also, a short black stretchy pencil skirt. Eyeliner, sometimes lip gloss. I did laser on my whole body so I don’t need to shave. People tell me I’m beautiful all the time. I guess I’m just lucky. I do wear heels when going to a simcha though. And I do shop all the time. But I never wear the clothes. I’m happy in my stretchy skirts and tee shirts.

saralem

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 5:13 pm

I work out of the house every day, for many years. We live OOT and the vast majority of people I come across have never met another frum woman. So, in addition to just preferring my appearance with full face of makeup, shaitel and nicer clothing, I also push myself to look extra presentable. A long time ago my husband (who doesn't especially go for the made up look) told me how important it is, to positively represent not just frum women, but Jews in general. I know that's totally not an issue in NY, but OOT maybe it is.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 5:36 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

I probably spend about $2000 per season ( summer and winter). I did laser so I don’t have to shave. I look pretty good. I spend a good amount on makeup because I love doing it.
It makes me feel good to look good Smile

When I get home , I’m in my mimu maxi skirt and pointe top and I think I look pretty cute then too.

Can you link the clothing?

amother

Plum

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 5:42 pm

Honestly, right now I have young children and a minimal beauty budget. But I fully intend to indulge myself in all things beauty, fashion, jewelry and accessories when we can afford it and my kids are older. (Probably minimum 40’s haha but I guess better late than never!)

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 5:57 pm

Are there really perfect looking women? I never noticed.

amother

Wine

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:02 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Are there really perfect looking women? I never noticed.

Same!
Is there such thing? To me, if someone looks happy and comfortable in their own skin, then they look perfect.

amother

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:05 pm

amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:

OP gave herself away when she let slip that her dh expects it. There u go, she feels pressured by him to always be on show and maybe even is threatened by him looking at other women instead.

My husband expects a put together woman, not an up to date. These are two different things. Clean, neat but comfy too. He actually begs me to wear lace up shoes with big soles and he very regularly tells me my face looks better without make up. So no, no pressure from him.

All of you saying it takes a lot of money to look good, let me tell you how I do it. I wax myself, even my bikini. My waxing kit costed a few bucks nothing much. Im able to do my nails as well. As for make up, the only expensive product is my foundation which is about $35. Clothe is probably the most costly, but what should I say, ive gotten so many compliments for some stuff which were dirt cheap but up to date, Ive learnt where to look by now.

small bean

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:07 pm

I always wear a slinky and either a tshirt or zip up. I like to be comfortable over anything.

I never wear makeup. I think it is fake and smells and uncomfortable.

I do wax for myself. I like to be free of body hair except arm hair, because I think it looks gross to have no arm hair.

I do what feels best for me. I dont care much about what others think about me and I dont care how others look. I hardly notice.
.

amother

Green

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:16 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So I suggested starting a s/o DH expecting perfection thread so here I am!

I do look like the perfect mother always fully dressed and made up, hand bag and sharp shoes. I update my wardrobe every few weeks. I wax all over so I continue giving off that image even in the swimming pool (I go weekly) Im lucky DH looks sharp too because its important to me.

Not trying to brag at all but I very often get the feeling im one of the only ones here with this lifestyle! Like you'd never put me behind those inspirational posts I put up here LOL

Do any of you look like this daily? How do you manage being a good mother and looking all posh and dignified? Do you feel like you need to be this way because you work or maybe opposite, are you able to keep it up because you're a SAHM?

So ill let you in on 1 of my secrets. First of all I take 1 day off - Fridays! not always but very often. Friday is my one and only shlompy day. Which I define as slinky, snood, make up less and casual top. For me its hard to believe women dress this way every day! Doing this once a week already makes me feel ich for some reason.

What are your thoughts? How do you dress, are you at peace with it or would you like to look differently if only circumstances allow you to?

I do always look perfect - except Friday’s (like you) but I spend WAY less time and energy and money on it. I think Your overthinking / overdoing it. I do my mails myself every week and a half, the gel top coat is amazing and makes them look professional. I use waxing strips and wax myself every month or so (except hard to reach areas- I go to European wax center for that) I keep a small makeup bag in the car and put on makeup at red lights or traffic. Mini perfume and brush And tweezers in my bag. (Why do chin hairs show up only in rear view mirror??) Usually no time for that at home. I rarely shop. I have a small wardrobe “10 item wardrobe” style. But the little I have is high quality and classic and I have trendy shoes and boots and hats/ accessories so I look good without spending money and most importantly - I don’t have to think when getting dressed! It’s Super fast and easy like a merino turtleneck and basic skirt, with whatever footwear, earrings, and something on my fall. It probably helps that I’m naturally skinny.
I’m a professional and a mom so I need to be dressed at all times for double duty.

amother

Violet

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:04 pm

The only women I know who really look stunning every day have money.
It all boils down to money.
Having a stunning sheitel, nice coat, up to date cloths, and a pair of shoes to match each outfit, not to mention handbags costs money!

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:15 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

THIS!

I work full time every day but sunday. I always wear full face makeup (and not cheap stuff). my shiatel always is fresh and I get a couple of new tops and shoes each season. but, I'm yeshivish and look it. my wig is 6 years old so its not the most updated style but still nice and good condition. my new clothes I get are also not the cheapest thing, but the things I chose to buy are not trendy since I'm not that type. my shoes also are just plain class. I always look neat, put together and fresh. But you probably will look at me and say 'drab, nebby etc.'

you can do everything that you, OP, does but depending on your taste and style each m=person that 'copies' you will look very different than the next!

amother

Pink

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:27 pm

The need to change your body to feel ok about yourself comes from deeply rooted insecurity.
Most women do SOMETHING at least SOME of the time to their bodies, but you sound very extreme. Refua shelaima.

amother

Puce

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:29 pm

OP, do you enjoy people looking at you when you are all dressed to simply go to the store? Like many women, I do get dressed up to go to a dinner or event, but am very happy to dress simply, sans makeup, to run daily errands. I wear light makeup to go to work, and classic clothes. The women I work with, who are all professionals, do as I do. If they wore more makeup and were very fashion conscious, I think they wouldn't be respected for their minds.

amother

Puce

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:33 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

I know women who put their husbands in deep debt by constantly shopping. They were not wealthy, and many ended in divorce. The need to always look perfect is a deep insecurity.

hodeez

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:39 pm

What does it mean to update your wardrobe every few weeks?

amother

Pewter

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:44 pm

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

That is not nice. Don't judge others.
I imagine you are not a dressed up fancy person. Would you want OP to judge you and think that if you are not well dressed and out together that you are not worthwhile or important?

You imagine wrong. And I didn’t say anything about worthwhile and important. But there are some frum ladies that get very overdressed for casual occasions and they do look a bit silly to others.

amother

Pewter

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:50 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

I don’t find that. Those women might look fancy or up to date but not necessarily stunning. Real beauty is mostly natural.

allthingsblue

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:52 pm

There's so much judgement against perfect looking women here.
Why can't people come to terms with the fact that to some women, fashion and accessories and a certain look is very important to them? Just like some people like music/reading/other hobbies, this is a hobby of sorts. If they're doing it happily, what could be wrong with that?

lilies

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 8:15 pm

There is nothing wrong with being fashionable and up-to-date but I would not compare it to a hobby when done excessively.
I have yet to meet the person who would be tweezing and waxing if stranded on an island, but know plenty of people that would be happy to read/music/gardening in peace.

tigerwife

Thu, Feb 06 2020, 8:25 pm

Looking good does not have to mean maximum effort and stress. It just comes easier to some than others.

This conversation reminds me of the comments I got when I was very skinny- “Oh, of course you’re so thin, you don’t eat anything!” It’s hard for people to accept that some people just are naturally thin or have good taste and looks and can look fabulous with minimum effort.

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