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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
notshanarishona
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 5:28 pm
allthingsblue wrote: | There's so much judgement against perfect looking women here.
Why can't people come to terms with the fact that to some women, fashion and accessories and a certain look is very important to them? Just like some people like music/reading/other hobbies, this is a hobby of sorts. If they're doing it happily, what could be wrong with that? |
Buying new clothes every few weeks is like throwing money in the trash. I have never heard of a bigger waste money .
I understand that richer people have different lifestyles and even buying more expensive clothes I wouldn't judge but just complete wastefullness I can't comprehend .
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amother
Coral
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 5:30 pm
My daily makeup is a little eye liner and blush. Most of it is gone by the evening so there's really nothing to clean besides for washing my face. (For weddings I'll do lipstick, some shadow, under eye cover which I also use to even out some skin imperfections, but no base.)
For a recent childs' week of sheva brochos I did makeup (what is a full face for me) every night. And as I was cleaning my face at night I though, "I can't believe there are people who put themselves through this every night!"
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amother
Scarlet
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 5:51 pm
I guess in theory I wish I could look and dress more polished, but alas I am busy, lazy, like to be comfortable, and work from home. I wouldn't mind looking more put together, but I also hate wearing stockings and tights, much prefer leggings and don't like the feel of makeup. I DO feel prettier in makeup even just a small amount but full face and when I wear it I think to myself I should do it more often but I dont really have the patience for it and my husband doesnt care for a face full of makeup
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amother
Green
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:07 pm
amother [ Scarlet ] wrote: | I guess in theory I wish I could look and dress more polished, but alas I am busy, lazy, like to be comfortable, and work from home. I wouldn't mind looking more put together, but I also hate wearing stockings and tights, much prefer leggings and don't like the feel of makeup. I DO feel prettier in makeup even just a small amount but full face and when I wear it I think to myself I should do it more often but I dont really have the patience for it and my husband doesnt care for a face full of makeup | my hack for this is wearing boots when I leave the house! No one can see I’m wearing leggings. Also just lipstick or a lip stain can make a big diff and you’ll look like you’re wearing makeup when you’re not.
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allthingsblue
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:09 pm
notshanarishona wrote: | Buying new clothes every few weeks is like throwing money in the trash. I have never heard of a bigger waste money .
I understand that richer people have different lifestyles and even buying more expensive clothes I wouldn't judge but just complete wastefullness I can't comprehend . |
She probably meant buying a few more things, not literally an entire wardrobe. And if she donates her nice, gently used clothing, that's a great form of tzedakah.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:23 pm
allthingsblue wrote: | She probably meant buying a few more things, not literally an entire wardrobe. And if she donates her nice, gently used clothing, that's a great form of tzedakah. |
I meant to say that I refresh. A new pair of shoes/boots can give a complete new look especially in the winter when wearing a thick coat which covers clothing. And I continue wearing the older stuff. Sometimes I get my wig styled very differently.
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amother
Blonde
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:46 pm
My thoughts?
Ok. I hope you realize that you are blessed with the money and time.
I used to look great. But now I am too busy to take care of myself and cannot afford full waxings and updated closets.
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FranticFrummie
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 6:53 pm
Rappel wrote: | I need to respond, but this is going to sound preachy when all typed out. I apologize in advance:
I can put hundreds of dollars into makeup, or I can give it to any cause (soup kitchen, Torah learning, medical assistance etc.) that seems worthy at the time.
דע מעיין באת, ולאן אתה הולך.
When my beautiful body is rotting in the ground, and insects are burrowing into my putrefying flesh, which will make me more happy? That I invested in my looks, or that I used any spare cash I had to help others? |
This comment is truly beautiful. When DD was little, I asked her "When you are dead, what do you want people to say about you. She was the most popular girl? She was the prettiest girl? She was the kindest girl?" DD said "Kindest, of course!" She was only 6 years old, and she already understood what was important in life.
One of the things I love about her, is that she's totally comfortable with her body type, and that she dresses to please herself. (She gets that from me. )
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amother
Lawngreen
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:05 pm
What are people referring to, when they say that women look silly being so overdressed for doing errands?
I posted earlier that I consider myself put together, and I think others would agree. But I don’t consider myself fancy. I always wear a polished-looking outfit, jewelry, makeup, tights and nice shoes. But I don’t wear heels during the week, or anything that looks like shabbos clothing. Is that so silly looking? Yes, my makeup is always fully done (no foundation though, BH I don’t need it), but I don’t think I look too glamorous. Just plain, old put together. It’s how I feel comfortable.
Really, how many women do you see in gowns and heels in the supermarket? Do you really think people look silly shopping in a sheitel and a nicer outfit?
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amother
Wine
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:08 pm
amother [ Blonde ] wrote: | My thoughts?
Ok. I hope you realize that you are blessed with the money and time.
I used to look great. But now I am too busy to take care of myself and cannot afford full waxings and updated closets. |
Time? Soon enough we will all be gray and wrinkled. What's the difference.
I hope by then our neshamas will be as sparkling clean from imperfections as our physical bodies.
Our sole purpose for taking care of our bodies is in order for the neshama to be able to perform mitzvas.
Levushim for our neshamas are maasim tovim. May we update our souls' wardrobe often. It might even be free.
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amother
Pink
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:22 pm
Truly beautiful women look MORE beautiful when they try less. Just get up, maybe a drop of tinted moisturizer and mascara, a simple outfit, and be done. Even in a snood they will look beautiful. Or nothing. This catagory of women looks best the most vulnerable and natural they present.
If you have a specific flaw (acne, double chin, hyperpigmentation etc), but are otherwise nice looking, so fix the flaw and move on. Again, less is more. Who wants to be friends with a plastic doll?
If you are mamish not pretty, so go ahead and do whatever you need to to feel confident.
If you enjoy the relaxation and artistry of primping, gezunteheit.
But that's not what im hearing from OP, im hearing you feel pressured to always look perfect and wonder why other people dont.
No one should feel like they HAVE to dress up for the world to be a worthwhile human being.
We are worthy no matter how we look.
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amother
Blonde
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:30 pm
amother [ Wine ] wrote: | Time? Soon enough we will all be gray and wrinkled. What's the difference.
I hope by then our neshamas will be as sparkling clean from imperfections as our physical bodies.
Our sole purpose for taking care of our bodies is in order for the neshama to be able to perform mitzvas.
Levushim for our neshamas are maasim tovim. May we update our souls' wardrobe often. It might even be free. |
Thank you for responding to my comment! I’ve been having a hard time with the fact that I don't take care of myself and all that.
Sincerest thanks for the perspective. I will try to remember this next time I feel ‘deprived’ over something that does not matter in the long run.
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SuperWify
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:47 pm
Hey op good for you. I’m just confused about the point of this thread. Was this a humble brag?
I dress nicely every day even though I work at home. I wear makeup, my wigs are always fresh, I get new trendy pieces and shoes every season. I’m big on Jewlery. I do laser. I always wear a fresh perfume.
That all being said come Friday and I’m in a slinky and sweatshirt and I’m the most comfortable and happy all week! Yes, this is the truth. I feel better when I’m comfortable without tights and a itchy wig and my worn ugg slippers.
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amother
Amber
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:54 pm
lilies wrote: | There is nothing wrong with being fashionable and up-to-date but I would not compare it to a hobby when done excessively.
I have yet to meet the person who would be tweezing and waxing if stranded on an island, but know plenty of people that would be happy to read/music/gardening in peace. |
My friend used to live in Brooklyn and then moved upstate. She has no neighbors close by and her backyard is a swath of green grass and trees. She says her needs for dressing herself and her kids up has been reduced to a fragment of what it used to be.
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amother
Wine
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 7:55 pm
amother [ Blonde ] wrote: | Thank you for responding to my comment! I’ve been having a hard time with the fact that I don't take care of myself and all that.
Sincerest thanks for the perspective. I will try to remember this next time I feel ‘deprived’ over something that does not matter in the long run. |
Your selflessness and inner beauty shines through.
Sometimes we may need to spend on something that makes us feel taken care of. To give us a little boost to continue doing what we do every day. But that is a means to the end, not the end in itself.
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amother
Yellow
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 9:07 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Disclaimer: Wasn't trying to put others down, just honestly want to know what people out there do. Maybe I have peer pressure and dont realise it...
Actually DH does think I have too much pressure especially the make up part...the rest of it he likes; more expects. |
When I read the first post I thought to myself about what the price may be. Either you may be high strung, or selfish (because of the price this lifestyle costs), or your kids suffer because a kid can't grow up healthy if everything needs to be just so all the time, or who knows. The possibility of pressure whether it's a reality or not, can be a reason.
It's not humanly possible to live and behave 100% normal if everything must be perfect at all times.
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Rappel
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 11:13 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | My husband expects a put together woman, not an up to date. These are two different things. Clean, neat but comfy too. He actually begs me to wear lace up shoes with big soles and he very regularly tells me my face looks better without make up. So no, no pressure from him.
All of you saying it takes a lot of money to look good, let me tell you how I do it. I wax myself, even my bikini. My waxing kit costed a few bucks nothing much. Im able to do my nails as well. As for make up, the only expensive product is my foundation which is about $35. Clothe is probably the most costly, but what should I say, ive gotten so many compliments for some stuff which were dirt cheap but up to date, Ive learnt where to look by now. |
Good for you! I'm glad you found a way to make it work for you.
Last edited by Rappel on Thu, Feb 06 2020, 11:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rappel
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 11:16 pm
FranticFrummie wrote: | This comment is truly beautiful. When DD was little, I asked her "When you are dead, what do you want people to say about you. She was the most popular girl? She was the prettiest girl? She was the kindest girl?" DD said "Kindest, of course!" She was only 6 years old, and she already understood what was important in life.
One of the things I love about her, is that she's totally comfortable with her body type, and that she dresses to please herself. (She gets that from me. ) |
And FF wins "mommy of the year" award again. That's so sweet. I hope my kids gain that value.
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DrMom
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Thu, Feb 06 2020, 11:27 pm
SuperWify wrote: | Hey op good for you. I’m just confused about the point of this thread. Was this a humble brag? |
That's what it sounded like to me. Maybe even a little light on the "humble" part?
It's nice that you (OP) have a nice hobby. But not everyone shares these same goals.
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amother
Taupe
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Fri, Feb 07 2020, 1:53 am
I have no desire to look all 'put together' when I am out for errands.
I don't admire women who are all polished and put together more than women who are more casual.
In fact, my personal taste is that casual and natural looks better. I don't like the 'trying too hard' look. I mean, if that's your taste then enjoy; everyone does their own thing. I don't expect you to dress to my tastes, just like I don't expect you to decorate your house to my taste.
But personally I have no desire to look like someone who 'refreshes' her wardrobe every few weeks.
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