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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Rena K
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 Sat, Feb 08 2020, 10:28 pm
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Do you sing with your husband and family at the Shabbas table? What about your daughters?
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asmileaday
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Sat, Feb 08 2020, 10:32 pm
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I don't have daughters but yes I always sing along.
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amother
Slateblue
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Sat, Feb 08 2020, 10:32 pm
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Sometimes when in the mood
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amother
Ruby
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Sat, Feb 08 2020, 10:39 pm
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Depends if we have guests, and whether or not I am niddah. And on my mood!
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amother
Smokey
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Sat, Feb 08 2020, 11:00 pm
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I always sing along, ( besides for when we have guest other then my brothers.) My daughters sing along whenever they're in the mood.
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lucky14
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Sat, Feb 08 2020, 11:17 pm
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No but only because I'm not such a fan of my singing voice. Nothing to do with being a girl. I'd be toootally fine with my daughter singing along when she gets older.
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Rena K
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:30 pm
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If your husband didn't sing would you just sing yourself?
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shabbatiscoming
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:38 pm
We all sing at the table. When we have guests and we sing, everyone sings as well.
We love shabbat zemirot 
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bigsis144
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:46 pm
No, my sons tell me to shut up and will cover my mouth with their hands.
We never have guests so it has nothing to do with that.
My mother was the zemiros captain in my house growing up, and my sisters and I learned to harmonize by singing with her at shalosh seudos when it was an all-girls meal.
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asmileaday
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:53 pm
| bigsis144 wrote: | No, my sons tell me to shut up and will cover my mouth with their hands.
We never have guests so it has nothing to do with that.
My mother was the zemiros captain in my house growing up, and my sisters and I learned to harmonize by singing with her at shalosh seudos when it was an all-girls meal. |
That sounds very rude. I'm sure it doesn't play out the way it comes across on here. Care to explain?
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bigsis144
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 2:01 pm
| asmileaday wrote: | | That sounds very rude. I'm sure it doesn't play out the way it comes across on here. Care to explain? |
Yeah, they’re rude.
They’ve been in and out of therapy for many sensory, social and communication issues.
I have empathy for their issues and do my best to teach them while loving them unconditionally but it still hurts to lose the things I love in order to walk on egg shells my entire life.
(I’m in a very pained mood today, I’ve got literal physical bruises from one of my kids. But I don’t wanna derail this thread.)
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asmileaday
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 2:16 pm
| bigsis144 wrote: | Yeah, they’re rude.
They’ve been in and out of therapy for many sensory, social and communication issues.
I have empathy for their issues and do my best to teach them while loving them unconditionally but it still hurts to lose the things I love in order to walk on egg shells my entire life.
(I’m in a very pained mood today, I’ve got literal physical bruises from one of my kids. But I don’t wanna derail this thread.) |
Sending virtual hugs your way. I'm so sorry.
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naturalmom5
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 2:28 pm
| bigsis144 wrote: | No, my sons tell me to shut up and will cover my mouth with their hands.
We never have guests so it has nothing to do with that.
My mother was the zemiros captain in my house growing up, and my sisters and I learned to harmonize by singing with her at shalosh seudos when it was an all-girls meal. |
So if I am understanding you clearly..
There is a heter from R Ezril Hildesheimer , and the Chachom Tzvi of trei kolos lo mistamei
That a group of men and women can all sing together
There is also a heter for divri kedusha at the Shabipos table
BUT THERE IS NO HETER I KNOW OF FOR CHUTZPA AND LACK OF CIBUD AIM
And those are serious doreissas ... Some one needs to spend more time learning
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essie14
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 2:31 pm
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We all sing zmirot. men and women at the shabbat table. With company and without. We love to sing.
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amother
Smokey
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 2:33 pm
| naturalmom5 wrote: | So if I am understanding you clearly..
There is a heter from R Ezril Hildesheimer , and the Chachom Tzvi of trei kolos lo mistamei
That a group of men and women can all sing together
There is also a heter for divri kedusha at the Shabipos table
BUT THERE IS NO HETER I KNOW OF FOR CHUTZPA AND LACK OF CIBUD AIM
And those are serious doreissas ... Some one needs to spend more time learning |
Your rudeness is totally uncalled for. She said she's having a hard time with her kids, they have many issues & they're getting therapy. No need for such nastiness, no need to add to her pain.
I sometimes wonder if people bother to read all posts before bashing or are just waiting to pounce at any opportunity.
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bigsis144
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 4:29 pm
| naturalmom5 wrote: | So if I am understanding you clearly..
There is a heter from R Ezril Hildesheimer , and the Chachom Tzvi of trei kolos lo mistamei
That a group of men and women can all sing together
There is also a heter for divri kedusha at the Shabipos table
BUT THERE IS NO HETER I KNOW OF FOR CHUTZPA AND LACK OF CIBUD AIM
And those are serious doreissas ... Some one needs to spend more time learning |
Yeah I’m talking about 7 and 10 year old boys, not bochurim with frumkeit hangups regarding Kol isha who would be swayed by quoting Halacha at them.
Thanks amother Smokey 💙
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amother
Cobalt
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Sun, Feb 09 2020, 4:38 pm
My husband doesnt sing zemiros:(
I grew up in a home where we sang a ton, and we all love to sing.
My husband grew up in a home where they sang zemiros but it felt like a ritual to him. He has bad memories of being forced to sing.
Once in a while if we have guests and the conversation isn't going, he will song zemiros.
Me and the kids will sing sometimes, just random songs, not zemiros
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