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I don’t eat out/ buy my food.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Feb 08 2020, 11:57 pm
Do you find someone selling homemade food out of their house but with a policy that they won’t eat by anyone else’s house off putting? Like, “I don’t trust your kashrut, but you can trust mine!”
It’s bothering me. Am I being petty?
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Sat, Feb 08 2020, 11:58 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Do you find someone selling homemade food out of their house but with a policy that they won’t eat by anyone else’s house off putting? Like, “I don’t trust your kashrut, but you can trust mine!”
It’s bothering me. Am I being petty?


Many people only buy food out of the house if they have a reliable hechsher.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:01 am
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
Many people only buy food out of the house if they have a reliable hechsher.


Ok. But not sure how that’s relevant. She doesn’t have any hechsher. None of the ladies who do small scale catering or baking out of their homes do here.
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:11 am
She can decide from whom she eats just like you can. Don't see a reason to be offended
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:12 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Ok. But not sure how that’s relevant. She doesn’t have any hechsher. None of the ladies who do small scale catering or baking out of their homes do here.


Oh. So I wouldn't buy from someone that doesn't eat at other people's homes. I wouldn't trust her.
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amother




Teal
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:53 am
OP,
I 100% hear and agree with you.
I would find it terribly self righteous and off-putting.
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amother




Copper
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:54 am
For years I ran a private chef company out of my home.
No hechsher. Never pretended to have one.
I was constanly amazed by the amount of people who said that I'm obviously trustworthy bcz. I cover my hair. Huh??
It was their peragotive to use my services.
What would that have to do with where I eat?
I have since moved and now live in a place where there are lots of home food businesses. I only use the ones I know personally and would eat at their house for shabbos.
But the home meat smoker, herring maker, cake designer who I don't know and who don't have hashgacha don't get my business.
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amother




Saddlebrown
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 8:05 am
There’s a difference between inviting someone to your home and providing for the masses.
Even if I do trust the person and eat from the home, I wouldn’t buy from their home business without a hecksher.
I know a lot of ppl do have businesses and buy
Ask your LOR
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simcha2




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 8:12 am
I don't buy from anyone who doesn't have hashgacha, even if I would eat in their home as a guest.

The halacha where financial incentives are involved is much stricter.

Honestly, I would be uncomfortable eating in the home of anyone who bought from someone who doesn't have hashgacha. I wouldn't trust their standards.
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amother




Red
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 8:13 am
How do know 'kashus' is the reason she isnt eating at anyone elses house?

Could there be a different reason?
I make food for people and always reject their food if they ask to make for my family.
1) maybe her family is extremely picky, but she loves cooking, so she sells her food to people who will eat it, but knows her family wont eat anywhere else
2) maybe they have sensitive allergies and she doesnt want to be a bother!
3)maybe her husband said no and she has no say in the matter
4) maybe her family prefers her food (I cook meals for people, we have ppl over for shabbos meals but my husband doeant go out, he prefers to eat my food and prefers to stay home, so we dont go out for meals ever and I'm okay with that cuz I love cooking)


Are you thinking this through? Or just assuming? It sounds petty to me.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 8:18 am
I think it's very personal, and that everyone has the right to decide where and what to eat. I have several friends who don't eat by anyone else's home, but are very generous hosts to anyone in need. I also have friends who will not eat at any restaurant, no matter how mehadrin the heksher.

I also have friends who will eat by anyone who goes to their shul, without a second thought. I don't judge.

When I'm a guest I don't inspect other people's kitchen or pantries, but I am careful who I accept invitations from. It has to be someone I've known personally for quite a while, or someone who comes highly recommended from someone I trust.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 8:19 am
I only buy food from people who have hashgocha.

But there are certain people I won't let my family eat from because we have many allergies in our family, and these people have been quite dismissive of allergies in general or my family's particulars. So I won't trust that they were careful and cautious about all the ingredients.
It has nothing to do with frumkeit, and everything to do with health.
If they get insulted, then I'm sorry. There's not much I can do.

But that's not what OP was talking about, probably.
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amother




Linen
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 8:31 am
My father works in the kashrus industry. He does not eat out. He is very machmir.

One of my siblings opened a small home based take out / catering. She only uses ingredients approved by my father. She does not have hashgacha as she's still very small and starting out. She doesn't make enough to cover the kashrus fees.

Growing up in my parents house, she knew many of the reasons for the chumros, hiddurim and halachos. She will not eat out by most people. She mainly eats by family who have the same standards as her.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 8:44 am
🤦‍♀️
This isn’t about buying food without hashgacha.

This is about someone who sells food from her house (no hashgacha) to this community AND YET will not eat in any home here as a guest.

The message I get is: I don’t trust your kashrut at all but you should all trust mine.
Feels very superior. It rubs me the wrong way. Glad at least one Amother above gets it.

Again, people are certainly entitled to take on any chumras they like and are entitled to only eat where they like. But to make a blanket statement to the community that we are strict about kashrut and won’t eat by any of you — but please come buy my kugels, challahs, etc. that I make in my home kitchen with no official supervision—? It’s like using self-righteousness in place of hashgacha. Since I’m so holy that I don’t eat out of course you can eat everything out of my kitchen!
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 8:52 am
Yes its self righteous and annoying. But why is it triggering you? Its up to you to decide where to buy food from, you can decide not to give her your business. And its also up to you to decide not to invite her or send her food.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 9:23 am
I know someone who does this.
She doesn’t trust the Kashrus of some in the community so she has a blanket rule they don’t eat by anyone.
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 9:27 am
I hear where you are coming from, but we also had to make this blanket statement because there are 3 families where we wouldn’t eat by and how can we eat by some and then say no to others, so we made a blanket statement we dont eat out.
I still cook and bake for others all the time and I guess its their choice if they want to feel hurt by this.
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amother




White
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:02 am
Making a blanket statement that she won't eat by anyone is probably coming from a place of trying NOT to make the few people with questionable kashrus feel bad/hurt when she won't go to them. I guess it backfired because you feel hurt instead...
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sleepybeauty




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:13 am
It doesn’t bother me. Some people are stricter on certain things so it’s difficult for them to eat out. There could also be other personal reasons. I would have no problem eating in their houses or buying their food (assuming I trust them).

Last edited by sleepybeauty on Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:23 pm
I don't see what the problem is. She's not forcing anyone to trust her kashrus. I don't post pictures of my kids online. Yet, I'm a photographer and am very grateful that some of my clients allow me to share their photographs online. I completely understand those of my clients who don't want their images online too. It's called freedom of choice. She's offering a product to those people who would be comfortable with it. Who cares?
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