What do you wish you would have known before first baby

amother

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:26 pm

What do you wish you would have known/someone would have told you before you had your first child?

About pregnancy/delivery or about taking care of an infant/starting a family/being a parent in general.

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:34 pm

Its hard in the beginning but once you get into a routine it gets MUCH easier

Also after I got home from my mother, I let my husband go back to kollel I insisted I was fine. I was NOT. I was in pain down there for six weeks because I thought it was no big deal to load/unload the washing machine and pickup the babys pacifier/blanket etc. If my husband was around more I think I would have recovered a lot faster

fleetwood

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:53 pm

Ask for the epidural the second you enter the hospital,even if not in pain. It can take hours until it gets put in.

Rachel Shira

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:06 pm

fleetwood wrote:

Ask for the epidural the second you enter the hospital,even if not in pain. It can take hours until it gets put in.

Alternatively, if for whatever reason you don’t want an epidural, know that it’s possible to have a manageable, beautiful, and even peaceful birth without one.

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:07 pm

fleetwood wrote:

Ask for the epidural the second you enter the hospital,even if not in pain. It can take hours until it gets put in.

It took me just a few minutes

asmileaday

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:11 pm

If you plan to nurse; I wish someone would've told me that your nipples can get really really sore! I was in agony. In birthing classes they said you can apply lansinoh cream to your nipples starting in your 9th, but I didn't do it. The first few weeks were soooo painful. B"h I preserved and had a beautiful nursing experience. But I did not expect it. Nursing looked so easy to my Mom and sister.
When my younger sisters were pregnant I told them about putting cream weeks before your baby is born. They did it and had a much better adjustment.

fleetwood

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:11 pm

amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:

It took me just a few minutes

With my second it was in the middle of the night,with only one anesthesiologist..he was in a csection. It took a while. BTW,this was a major hospital in Manhattan.

amother

Taupe

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:14 pm

fleetwood wrote:

Ask for the epidural the second you enter the hospital,even if not in pain. It can take hours until it gets put in.

Alternatively, walk around as long as you can. I walked around / ran around. I finally got on the table when it was time to push. (every so often I would get checked between contractions.)

I wish I knew I would not be feeling well after the birth.

I wish I knew that if the nursi g is not going well, there is help, and there are alternatives.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:17 pm

I don't know if this applies to everyone but it does to me and I wish I knew before.
Once you have a child, they don't just fit nicely into the life you had before. Becoming a mother shifts your whole priority list, your thought processes, where you dedicate your time and energy, the way you look at life etc. You can't just assume that after maternity leave you'll resume normal life with a cute little bundle at your side, you have a new identity and you need to be ready to explore that and let it develop. Otherwise you'll stress yourself out trying to twist into a pretzel and accomplish the impossible

amother

Violet

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:24 pm

It's OK if it's not love at first sight. It sometimes takes some time to get into it. Also, there may be times where you wonder what you got yourself into, or thinking you don't like it that much. That's ok too, it's not sunshine and roses every minute.

amother

Peach

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:25 pm

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....81039

There's another thread on with almost this exact title also, but I can't find it

nchr

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 1:30 pm

I would have liked to have known how to navigate the hospital better. The first time was miserable. I knew I didn't want an epidural, but the doctors and nurses were so annoying and really made the experience and labor awful. Because of that I chose to have two home births which were BH amazing experiences. However, I'm not sure if I would recommend a home birth. My fourth and fifth deliveries were at the hospital again (one of which was twins) and one delivery was not that nice just like the first but I advocated for myself afterwards and had a way better experience than those other times around. So it would have been good if someone could have helped make the first experience ok as well.

TravelHearter

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 3:21 pm

I BH gave birth to twins during my shana rishona...
The best thing someone told me: 'The days are long but the years are short.' so so true!! Each day seems like forever but all of a sudden they're into the next size and then they're not newborns and then they're crawling...time does move one!
Also- it's okay to go to the bathroom. Even if you're baby is screaming so loud you're actually afraid someone is going to call chuld services on you. And while we're on it, no kid remembers crying as a baby. It's okay for them to cry (obviously to an extent- if you're frying onions you don't have to drop everything and run. Baby can wait thirty seconds).

momof2+?

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 10:02 pm

When you are post birth and starting to feel stronger, but still bleeding, don't push yourself to be on your feet too much. It feels okay until you realize it was too much, and makes the recovery (and bleeding time) longer.

Amelia Bedelia

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 10:27 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

https://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=381039

There's another thread on with almost this exact title also, but I can't find it

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....80252

Boca00

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 10:51 pm

You may still look pregnant after you give birth! Even if your sister in law wore her sheva brachos outfit to her son's bris, you might need to wear maternity.