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PSA: It's okay to give Mishloach Manos that isn't creative

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:26 am
There's nothing wrong with using MM as a way to express your creativity; I just want to make sure that everyone knows it's not mandatory.
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amother




Orchid
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:33 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
There's nothing wrong with using MM as a way to express your creativity; I just want to make sure that everyone knows it's not mandatory.


I agree and I’d go a step further. I think the themes and need to compete and impress have gotten out of hand. I believe many people lose the entire purpose of MM when they’re so concerned with showing off their “creativity” and I don’t think that’s what G-d had in mind with this mitzvah and what it’s turned into. If you look at the most eidel—most genuinely frum in their heart people—even if they have money they’re not the ones making themes and showy MM ‘s. There’s a way yo give a nice—even classy -even expensive if you want- MM without putting the gashmius nonsense in
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:35 am
Our shaloch manos is literally two muffins with a small vodka in the center or stacked cookies with a mini grape juice. For nicer shalach manos, we give the same plus an expensive bottle of alcohol or wine.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:41 am
THANK YOU!!! Thumbs Up

I'm much more concerned with learning the actual halacha of mishloach manos, and making sure that I am fulfilling the mitzva the right way. Anything else that is cute, covers the whole neighborhood, etc. is just for fun. Focus on doing the main part properly, and then enjoy the rest if it makes you happy.

Do not make yourself crazy. Purim is a time of simcha, not keeping up with the Shwartzes. If you are making yourself miserable, you are actually violating the spirit of the holiday. Being joyful is a commandment!
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:43 am
amother [ Orchid ] wrote:
I agree and I’d go a step further. I think the themes and need to compete and impress have gotten out of hand. I believe many people lose the entire purpose of MM when they’re so concerned with showing off their “creativity” and I don’t think that’s what G-d had in mind with this mitzvah and what it’s turned into. If you look at the most eidel, most genuinely frum in their heart people, even if they have money they’re not the ones making themes and showy MM ‘s. There’s a way yo give a nice, even classy -even expensive if you want- MM without putting the gashmius nonsense in

I’m genuinely frum in my heart and I still have great pleasure using my creative talents and do themes for MM. I appreciate using the talents Hashem gave me and to use them when I can in performing mitzvos. I don’t think that being creative takes away from ruchnius and being frum in any way. All the creativity one has is a gift from Hashem, so its perfectly ok to utilize these gifts in an uplifting way and to elevate it and use it Lshaim Shamayim.
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little neshamala




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:44 am
I never make creative MM. Way too much ptessure for me.But I also enjoy and appreciate when others make creative ones.

I do not think people "need to stop" making themed MM if they get personal satisfaction doing it. For many it can be a healthy creative outlet.
I do think people need to practice the idea of doing whats right for YOU, and not doing things others are doing simply because you feel a nonsensical pressure to do so.

This can be applied to everything-what kind of upsherin you make, what kind of kiddush you make, how much you spend on your childrens' yomtov wardrobe, what kind of bas mitzvah you make, what kind of bar mitzvah you make, whether you send your daughter to seminary in israel, whether you send your daughter to seminary at all, what kind of shaitel you wear, whether you wear a shaitel or a tichel........ETC ETC ETC.

the bottom line is stop feeling pressure. Let others do as they like and focus on happily doing whats good for you

Eta-our Rav once mentioned (with a topic to do with this) that fancier Bikurim were given in golden baskets by the wealthy, and simple bikurim were given by others. No one made a takanah that you cant bring fancy baskets. Everyone do what works for you, and if it doesnt work for you, just dont do it and enjoy the show.


Last edited by little neshamala on Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:50 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Lavender
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:48 am
In my neighborhood where shul dues are $1500 a year we give simple ones in bags
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:51 am
nchr wrote:
Our shaloch manos is literally two muffins with a small vodka in the center or stacked cookies with a mini grape juice. For nicer shalach manos, we give the same plus an expensive bottle of alcohol or wine.


I’d love some muffins! Send one my way please!
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little neshamala




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:52 am
And in case anyone is wondering what makes little neshamala happiest, its when she finds baked goods, especially fruit cobblers, in her MM.
So if anyone knows me....and still doesnt know what to put in their MM....I really love your homemade baked stuff. Yum yum yum
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:52 am
thunderstorm wrote:
I’m genuinely frum in my heart and I still have great pleasure using my creative talents and do themes for MM. I appreciate using the talents Hashem gave me and to use them when I can in performing mitzvos. I don’t think that being creative takes away from ruchnius and being frum in any way. All the creativity one has is a gift from Hashem, so its perfectly ok to utilize these gifts in an uplifting way and to elevate it and use it Lshaim Shamayim.


Ditto. I love preparing themed mm and have done it long before themes were a thing!!
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amother




Indigo
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 11:57 am
amother [ Orchid ] wrote:
I agree and I’d go a step further. I think the themes and need to compete and impress have gotten out of hand. I believe many people lose the entire purpose of MM when they’re so concerned with showing off their “creativity” and I don’t think that’s what G-d had in mind with this mitzvah and what it’s turned into. If you look at the most eidel, most genuinely frum in their heart people, even if they have money they’re not the ones making themes and showy MM ‘s. There’s a way yo give a nice, even classy -even expensive if you want- MM without putting the gashmius nonsense in

I love having fun with my MM, it’s the one time of year I can let my funny, creative side come out. I love to spread joy and give to lots of people, even people I don’t know. I don’t care if I receive any in return. I don’t think everyone needs to be creative and have cute themes, but let those of us who enjoy it have our fun. I’ve gotten great feedback from the Rabbis we give to so I don’t think any of them find it inappropriate.
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amother




Navy
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:13 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
THANK YOU!!! Thumbs Up

I'm much more concerned with learning the actual halacha of mishloach manos, and making sure that I am fulfilling the mitzva the right way. Anything else that is cute, covers the whole neighborhood, etc. is just for fun. Focus on doing the main part properly, and then enjoy the rest if it makes you happy.

Do not make yourself crazy. Purim is a time of simcha, not keeping up with the Shwartzes. If you are making yourself miserable, you are actually violating the spirit of the holiday. Being joyful is a commandment!

I want to Echo FF here about learning the halachos.
For starters, there's this massive misconception out there that the halacha is that the foods need to be two different brachos. (This is perpetuated every year in the frum magazines as well ). They need to be two different kinds of foods. Second, it is a hiddur to send real food that could theoretically be used for the seudah. Third, it is a hiddur to send it with a messenger.
Many years I recieved shalach manos from people that is basically nosh- but all tie into a theme...its cute, and I appreciate the creativity, but I dont know if it can be called mishloach manos.

There are more hiddurim , but the advice is to do at least one that satisfies all the hiddurim.
Also, you are supposed to spend more on matanos le'evyonim than mishloach manos.
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 12:14 pm
Oh please. We have this same thread every year. Everyone is aware of this, and everyone does what they prefer to do. I've literally never met anyone IRL who is doing it for competition or glory or insecurity or whatever. Oh, and I live in New York, so I'm not in some OOT place where no one has any social pressure. The people who do that themes LIKE doing it. It makes them happy. I don't like to do themes, I'm perfectly happy to do my yearly go-to of mini grape juice bottles and some hamentaschen. But I do get a few themed packages, and they're pretty cute, and the people who are making them are not trying to prove anything or taking on an unnecessary pressure. They genuinely have a good time with it. And half the fun for them is planning and executing the theme each year.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 9:53 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
I've literally never met anyone IRL who is doing it for competition or glory or insecurity or whatever.

There are people who exist in the world whom you have never met IRL.
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groisamomma




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 9:59 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
Oh please. We have this same thread every year. Everyone is aware of this, and everyone does what they prefer to do. I've literally never met anyone IRL who is doing it for competition or glory or insecurity or whatever. Oh, and I live in New York, so I'm not in some OOT place where no one has any social pressure. The people who do that themes LIKE doing it. It makes them happy. I don't like to do themes, I'm perfectly happy to do my yearly go-to of mini grape juice bottles and some hamentaschen. But I do get a few themed packages, and they're pretty cute, and the people who are making them are not trying to prove anything or taking on an unnecessary pressure. They genuinely have a good time with it. And half the fun for them is planning and executing the theme each year.


I'm with you all the way. I'll sit with my Sefer Shalach Manos and let the stunning MM roll in from unlearned but creative Schwartzes.

I don't do them, but I fargin them the pleasure, and I love to get them! I'm the one that reads every poem and tries to connect every item in the package to the theme. LOL
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amother




Coffee
 

Post  Sun, Feb 09 2020, 10:19 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
There's nothing wrong with using MM as a way to express your creativity; I just want to make sure that everyone knows it's not mandatory.


Unless you are an absolute nobody and completely invisible in your community. In such a case, giving out themed Mishloach Manos is the only way that anyone would even know you exist.
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blessedflower




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:56 am
Actuality I want to thank you OP for bringing this up. I'm a very creative person and love doing arts. Purin is my personal creative time. I always do fun things and create a costume for my dd myself.
This year I'm not feeling so well, b''h for good reasons 😉 and I must admit I was having a lot of pressure from Purim. I haven't prepared anything yet and I still don't know what to do for MM. So thank you from deep in my heart for reminding me that even creative people that get tons of pleasure out of making fun MM can also give simple ones if that's what's best for them at the moment.
So to bad for all of those that can't wait to see my fun MM this year, because reading the op made me realise that there is a difference between having fun and making myself sick from own made pressure so I decided to do simple 😊
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amother




Orange
 

Post  Mon, Feb 10 2020, 11:35 am
Whatever floats your boat.

I don't read the little verses that people include, other than Happy Purim From ....

The two gumdrops stuck in a plate with a piece of licorice, that is perfect for your theme, goes right in the trash. But if you enjoyed it, and it makes you happy, kol hakavod. I'm not upset. In fact, I won't remember who it was from by next week.

I used to buy beautiful containers and make mine juuuuuuuuuust so. Gorgeous (IMNSHO). I still spot the containers in various homes. No more. No time, Burned out. Paper bags it is. But if you want to do it, as I said, enjoy.

Or as the late, great Ricky Nelson said, you see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post  Mon, Feb 10 2020, 11:49 am
I don't mind the creative MM, if that's how you want to spend your time.
Some of them are pretty clever.

It's the painfully constructed poems I can't stand with the forced rhymes and uneven meter.

Just. Skip. It.

Please.
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:00 pm
I get (I give way more- don’t worry) a lot of mishloach manos. I won’t judge a single person based on their mm. Please do not turn it into a pressure. Anything goes. But here is the thing- I put in only edible stuff. If it’s baked I wrap and seal each item well with cellophane and close it tight. I want my recipients to enjoy it. I also make sure whatever I give is normal food. If I get cookies or a cupcake that is dried out and not wrapped then it will go into the trash. I feel bad for the one that gave it but do you expect us to eat a rock?
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