Laundry got ruined at relatives, WWYD?

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:07 am

DD stayed at a relative when I had a baby. Lot's of her clothing came back very stained, the stains do not come out. They're relatively new clothing & it's unwearable now. Would you do/say something? Or just chalk it up as part of a child staying at others??

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:18 am

I feel for you. This happens when I send my kids to my MIL. She ruins clothes. I have started only sending them in their oldest, plainest clothing so I’m not devastated when things come back shrunken or stained. I have never said a word of complaint. She is doing me a huge chessed taking the kids so DH and I can have time to ourselves.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:22 am

The stains are these gray stains front loader machines leave on white clothing. It usually means the machine is broken or needs to be cleaned.
I guess it's a lesson learnt to send old clothing.

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:22 am

I know people who ask relatives who are hosting their kids not to do the laundry for them. They send enough clothes for the duration, and prefer to do the laundry themselves, so as to do it their own particular way, and to treat stains rather than rely on relative to do so.

I am like this if I ever lend out clothes (like niece wants to borrow particular color blouse for performance....) I ask them to return it unlaundered.

Otherwise, OP, I think that's a risk you take when you send child to relatives.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:23 am

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

Did you pay them to babysit her?

If they did you a favor, I would not say anything. It can come across as very ungrateful.

No I didn't pay them.
This is my dilemma, I don't want to sound ungreatful. I guess it's part of the expense of having a new baby.

ra_mom

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:23 am

Do not say anything. It will come across as ungrateful for all that they did for you including taking care of all needs for your child, loving them, being their guardian, and washing their clothes.

It's very hard, I get it. I send enough clothes for the whole stay and mention that I don't put any clothes in the dryer so I would appreciate if they don't wash the clothes.

Btw, if it's oil or food stains (stains darker than clothes but can't figure it out), you may still be able to get them out with some hard work. Make clothes wet, with your palms rub in a little Dawn dish soap, let sit, scrub, rinse and wash again. Repeat if needed.

Last edited by ra_mom on Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:24 am; edited 1 time in total

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:24 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The stains are these gray stains front loader machines leave on white clothing. It usually means the machine is broken or needs to be cleaned.
I guess it's a lesson learnt to send old clothing.

Try soaking in an oxy solution for at least overnight and re-laundering. I've seen oxy do wonders on whites.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:25 am

Chayalle wrote:

When I borrow clothing, I always say to return it unwashed.
But DD doesn't have 10 dresses, she needed her laundry done.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:26 am

Chayalle wrote:

Try soaking in an oxy solution for at least overnight and re-laundering. I've seen oxy do wonders on whites.

I tried. These are grease stains, usually there to stay.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:28 am

ra_mom wrote:

I will try the dish soap.
I did ask her to please not put anything in the dryer only underwear, and she put everything besides dresses in the dryer. Some things faded terribly.
But I guess it's just too bad, part of the deal.

ra_mom

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:30 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

When I borrow clothing, I always say to return it unwashed.
But DD doesn't have 10 dresses, she needed her laundry done.

It's worthwhile to buy an extra 3 $15 dresses from target to send along in such a situation or send from last year something that's a bit too small or a bit summery. It's easier for you in the long run, and easier for the person you sent to not to have to wash either.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:32 am

ra_mom wrote:

Right, I'll know this for next time.

amother

Rose

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:42 am

I just had my little niece staying by me. I love her to bits and pieces but boy was it a lot of work. I was so relieved to send her back with all her finger and toes intact. It’s a big responsibility watching someone’s kid (and a lot of extra work... and extra laundry..)
I did try to treat her clothing with respect... but I would be very hurt to get a comment about the way I washed her laundry. There’s just so much you can expect from people to do for you.

ra_mom

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:44 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Let the soap sit on the wet garment at least an hour or overnight in a laundry sink or in a bathtub. Go in a few times while it's sitting to scrub at the stain with a toothbrush. Wash out all soap suds before putting in machine because HE machines cannot handle suds. Good luck!!

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:53 am

ra_mom wrote:

I will try this, thank you.
I did oxi twice, hope this will help.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:54 am

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

My daughter is a big girl that takes care of herself, but you're right, it is hard to have someone else's child staying by you.