Laundry got ruined at relatives, WWYD?

amother

Rose

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:42 am

I once had my nephew by me. His shabbos shirt got dirty so I put it In a little pail to soak with soap. My cleaning lady thought it was a rag to clean with. She washed my walls with it. I panicked!! Bh it washed out nicely. I hate having such a pressure of the kids clothing that I watch. I wouldn’t mind so much if it was my own kids shirt

essie14

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 11:07 am

I bought DD a bib specifically to leave at MILs house for when DD visits. MIL "forgets " to put it on her. I dont say a word because it's a huge favor when MIL watches DD. I just try to put on clothes that are already a bit worn.

amother

Bisque

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:19 pm

essie14 wrote:

Do you ever get criticized for not sending DD in clothing that is brand new and perfect? Some MILs are like that, and if you send a child in a slightly worn shirt, she's going to complain that you are being lazy or neglectful.

When it comes to anything by relatives, it's nearly impossible to do anything right.

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:21 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Bubbies who care about clothes typically care about bibs and keeping s clean and neat appearance.

allthingsblue

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:29 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Most grandmothers are NOT like that. Most grandmothers love their grandchildren, no matter what theyre wearing.

Op good luck getting the stains out. Next time send cheaper clothing that you don't mind if it gets ruined. You're lucky you had someplace to send your DD! I hope it was for a good reason, like vacation!

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

DD stayed at a relative when I had a baby. Lot's of her clothing came back very stained, the stains do not come out. They're relatively new clothing & it's unwearable now. Would you do/say something? Or just chalk it up as part of a child staying at others??

You have to swallow the loss.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:34 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

I had a baby bh.

essie14

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:34 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Thankfully, no. she very rarely criticizes what my toddler is wearing.

momof2+?

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

When I borrow clothing, I always say to return it unwashed.
But DD doesn't have 10 dresses, she needed her laundry done.

You have a very nice relative -she hosted your kid for 10 days!!!??

cnc

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:41 pm

If I got such a comment from someone I would be extremely hurt and upset. Hosting a kid is very hard work- even if it’s a big kid that takes care of themselves. It’s a huge favor.

amother

Goldenrod

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:43 pm

Mazel Tov! Just sayin no matter how old and “independent” hosting another child is a huge responsibility not to mention logistics food and the like. Hope the laundry comes out ok it is a shame but sometimes I’m afraid to do someone else’s but feel bad not doing so- B”H no mishaps as of yet.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:56 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Sure, 100% it's a huge responsibility to have an extra child.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:57 pm

momof2+? wrote:

amother [ OP ] wrote:

When I borrow clothing, I always say to return it unwashed.
But DD doesn't have 10 dresses, she needed her laundry done.

You have a very nice relative -she hosted your kid for 10 days!!!??

Yes bh, I'm very thankful.
I had a very traumatic birth experience, it's been taking me a while to get back to myself.

singleagain

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 1:03 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The stains are these gray stains front loader machines leave on white clothing. It usually means the machine is broken or needs to be cleaned.
I guess it's a lesson learnt to send old clothing.

Wouldn't it be best to let them know if you think the machine is broken?

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 1:03 pm

cnc wrote:

If I got such a comment from someone I would be extremely hurt and upset. Hosting a kid is very hard work- even if it’s a big kid that takes care of themselves. It’s a huge favor.

Yeah I agree it's a huge favor. That's why I'm not telling her anything, just asking the ladies here for advice.

Marigold

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 1:09 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

First of all mazel tov.
I’ve had this several times but was usually able to get the stains out most of the time.
For whites, I’d soak (literally fully immersed in water) in nature bright paste that was made with boiling water. I Even allow it to sit in a pail overnight. For very difficult stains I’d empty it after a few hours and do a fresh paste.
Dark clothing that has grease stains, I find spraying it with zout, like drenched, and allow to sit for several hours works very well.
And sometimes we just say gam zu ltova, but def don’t say a word to the hostess.
Best of luck.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 1:15 pm

stayed OOT with relatives, all white shirts were stained, I wonder how they handle their own large family laundry. asked to use machine as a favor (didnt stay ion that house). would be nice if they warnted me machine had an issue. all husbands shirts gone. Nothing I can do, and I didnt say anothing

kollel wife

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 3:33 pm

As a Bubby and a mother, I thought I'd chime in. We all do things differently. Watching your own child, you know what to look out for, when they'll get dirty. When to insist on a bib, etc. With someone else's child, even one you see often, you're not as familiar.

Diaper accidents can happen, unexpected messes. We're older, more tired, not as quick, to run everything as well as we did when it was our own children. Maybe we mostly dressed them in dark colors. Whatever it is. It's a lot of work.

Not deliberately we fed them what you would not have preferred, they wore the Shabbos thing by mistake on a weekday etc. What's obvious to you as a pagama versus a shirt is less obvious to us. We're really trying our best. Please forgive our mistakes. Maybe it was my daughter that took the load out of the wash and put it in the dryer before I had a chance to tell her not to put it in the dryer.

Perhaps you can bring up the stains, as ... I noticed a stain on his pagama - not important, doesn't bother me, but I think that type of stain means the wash machine may need a repair, ....