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amother




Jetblack
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 10:12 am
Librarian - heres a book for you to take out of the library - how to win friends and influence people Smile
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forgetit




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 10:24 am
amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:
Librarian - heres a book for you to take out of the library - how to win friends and influence people Smile

I'm sorry, but I think that's rude. She clearly said she supports being nice to people, but that it isn't right of employees to feel entitled to kind words.
I feel rude myself calling out someone else for being so, and I apologize for that, but I still think this must be said.
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amother




Apricot
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 10:33 am
When my employer hands me my paycheck at the end of the week (or nowadays when I see the money deposited in my account) to me that's positive reinforcement. That means that he's willing to pay money for the work I do, and therefore he must be happy. But It could be I'm old fashioned.
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amother




Apricot
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 10:35 am
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
I could tell that you are an old timer.

Millenials aren't grateful to just have a job. And employers do have to make employees feel good. (If they want employees)


Well they should be.

There's a big difference between no feedback and abuse, though. A huge difference.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 10:38 am
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
When my employer hands me my paycheck at the end of the week (or nowadays when I see the money deposited in my account) to me that's positive reinforcement. That means that he's willing to pay money for the work I do, and therefore he must be happy. But It could be I'm old fashioned.
As long as you are employed your employer needs to pay you. That does not mean your employer is happy with your work.
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amother




Apricot
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 10:51 am
thunderstorm wrote:
As long as you are employed your employer needs to pay you. That does not mean your employer is happy with your work.


Some people (including me) actually work for the money. Even if the boss does not compliment me, if I know I am doing a good job it's good enough for me.

But I meant that the boss is paying a decent or above average salary. Why would he do that if he wasn't happy with my work?
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gamanit




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 10:54 am
The attitude that the employer is the giver in the situation isn't exactly 100% accurate. While it's true that the employer is providing employment, the employee is providing labor. It's supposed to be a fair exchange. Regarding getting feedback; you can generally get a feel for how people feel about you but you can always ask, especially in regards to specific projects.
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ora_43




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 11:00 am
amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:
Librarian - heres a book for you to take out of the library - how to win friends and influence people Smile

I really but really don't understand what Librarian is getting criticized for. How many times does she have to say that a good boss compliments their employees?

It's just that it's important to be clear on the distinction between a bad manager who dislikes/mistreats their employees, and a manager who's just mediocre.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 11:02 am
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
Some people (including me) actually work for the money. Even if the boss does not compliment me, if I know I am doing a good job it's good enough for me.

But I meant that the boss is paying a decent or above average salary. Why would he do that if he wasn't happy with my work?


He's paying you to get the work done. Happiness doesn't come into the equation.
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costanza




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 4:02 pm
Librarian is 100% right. The anonymous poster is wrong. If they were not happy with your work you would know. Be careful what you wish for. If you expect or need reassurance and praise for the good work you do, be prepared to hear the criticisms when you do things that are not so great.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 8:53 pm
The atmosphere in the place I am employed is extremely transactional. You do you work, you get your paycheck and have a nice day. If I dropped dead tomorrow or quit my employer would literally not flinch. Im saying that in all sefiousness. If that is how most offices operate then I'll just stay but if there is an opportunity to work in a more bakovadike place, treated as a human not a cog,I'd love to know if such places exists. I come from a completely different field where I was tremendously valued so all this tit for tat is a hard pill for me to digest.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Wed, Feb 12 2020, 9:27 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The atmosphere in the place I am employed is extremely transactional. You do you work, you get your paycheck and have a nice day. If I dropped dead tomorrow or quit my employer would literally not flinch. Im saying that in all sefiousness. If that is how most offices operate then I'll just stay but if there is an opportunity to work in a more bakovadike place, treated as a human not a cog,I'd love to know if such places exists. I come from a completely different field where I was tremendously valued so all this tit for tat is a hard pill for me to digest.


Yes. Other places will have a different culture to where you are now. Look for another job if you aren't happy where you are.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 2:26 am
Yes this is the new. Any managing course today will tell you to boost worker morale, talk about teamwork, giving incentives besides for the pay for better & more productive work done.
The old way to manage was to bark orders & if you didn't follow, you were fired.

That being said, it depends, are you working under a male boss? A very frum right wing person? Then they just might use minimal speech between opposite gender that is necessary for the work to get done, meaning technical business like language.
Once they get into the realm of compliments, they might consider that more personal & not appropiate if they want to keep to strict tznius boundaries.
Sometimes you might take those compliments to make you feel something towards your boss instead of just feeling good about your work.

It can also escalate. It can start out as innocent like "Good job done!" and you respond "Thank you for appreciating my work!" "He will say, of course, always, you are the best! You know I can't manage without you or I love your work more than anybody else's" then you feel flattered etc..

That's why many male bosses will keep things very neutral & pareve!


Last edited by dankbar on Thu, Feb 13 2020, 2:31 am; edited 2 times in total
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 2:30 am
gamanit wrote:
The attitude that the employer is the giver in the situation isn't exactly 100% accurate. While it's true that the employer is providing employment, the employee is providing labor. It's supposed to be a fair exchange. Regarding getting feedback; you can generally get a feel for how people feel about you but you can always ask, especially in regards to specific projects.

The view that an employer is a "giver" is partially responsible for keeping wages low.
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