Teachers going to school dinner

amother

Fri, Feb 14 2020, 3:44 pm

I’m new to this school. So they are making a dinner. As it’s coming closer I’m seeing that it’s a very big deal and that staff is expected to go.

I never attended such an event. Please help me out. I’m from a different crowd as the school and don’t want to stick out too much.

1. What do I wear?
2. Do I give a donation? They collected ads (which was quite expensive) I didn’t purchase. Is there an enterance fee. I don’t mind giving l. Just want to be appropriated.
3.is it the type of thing I need to come on time to? Is it nerdy to come on time or expected. If I come late is it awkward to walk in . Like will they be in the middle of a speaker...
4. Is it literally a dinner. As in a served meal?

Thanks you all. I’m usually not so complexed or complicated. I’m new here and really far out of my comfort zone.

BetsyTacy

Fri, Feb 14 2020, 4:02 pm

I think it wil be helpful if you let us know what kind of school you are teaching--fancy "prep" school for Jews vs a bais yaakov.
The location, at least vaguely, will help imamothers in the know chime in.

groisamomma

Fri, Feb 14 2020, 4:06 pm

In Lakewood Bais Yaakov type and mainstream yeshiva dinners you would fit in if you come dressed subtly, like in a better weekday outfit or sporty Shabbos one. I wear black sweaters with a design on the skirt so as not to draw attention. Teachers dont usually come on time. In some schools, there is a separate table for teachers, and it will say Reserved for Staff or similar. There is no entrance fee and staff is not expected to purchase ads.

Hope that helps.

Wanted to add that sometimes there isnt a separate table so teachers will come, sit for a half hour or so, then leave. In those cases they stay long enough to be polite but not for the entire meal. If it's a separate staff table then many teachers enjoy the night out and stay for all the courses to socialize.

Also, if you see parents you know it's mentchlich to go over and say hi. It's not conferences so nothing long but a wave or a quick hello is nice. Not expected though.

Last edited by groisamomma on Fri, Feb 14 2020, 4:09 pm; edited 1 time in total

ddmom

Fri, Feb 14 2020, 4:07 pm

The best would be to ask other teachers in the school that have already gone in the past!!
Usually teachers are not expected to give a donation, they are invited to the dinner as guests!
People dress relatively fancy, shabbos wear not casual!
Most dinners I've gone too were pretty much on time, within 15/30 minutes of start time and end on the early side too(9.30/10.00pm)

amother

Beige

Fri, Feb 14 2020, 4:09 pm

When I started teaching, I was employed in three schools so I made myself a policy that I don't do school dinners. (3 teachers' meetings and 3 PTAs were more than enough.) Since then I cut down on my jobs but I maintained my policy. There are so many obligations that I simply can't go to them all and this is where I chose to cut.

No one ever held me to it, and I'm glad I established this from the start.

Fabulous

Fri, Feb 14 2020, 4:40 pm

In Brooklyn the dinner is fancy, wear shabbos. Yes it’s a served dinner and you don’t need to donate. Usually the secretary or office staff takes care of the obligatory staff ad for the principals (for free obviously)