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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
High school suspends 22 girls for ticktoc
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:17 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
And you're entitled to send to a school that may not have these rules.

Those schools are not easy to get into!
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amother
Coral


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:18 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
People don't choose which schools to send their kids to. The schools select the students, and because school is mandatory, parents have no choice but to send to whatever school accepts.


Untrue to some extent. What type of schools are you applying to? The ones who you know will have rules like this, when you know you won't enforce it with your children.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:19 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
Those schools are not easy to get into!


Where do you live?
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:19 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
What type of schools are you applying to?

All of them.
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amother
Green


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:21 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
All of them.


Apply only to schools that you belong in.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:23 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
All of them.


You're applying to chassidish, yeshivish, MO, and public schools, among all those in between these extremes? What
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amother
Green


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:23 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
People don't choose which schools to send their kids to. The schools select the students, and because school is mandatory, parents have no choice but to send to whatever school accepts.


People choose where to apply. If you send to a school you don't belong in, at least have the decency to follow the rules. It is terrible chinuch for kids when their parents are not on the same page as the school. If you allow your kids to break the school rules, you're subjecting them to consequences and punishment. Parents have to work together with the school.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:27 pm
amother [ Red ] wrote:
These girls are in high school this is their responsibility not their parents. As long as the school is clear with their rules and consistent, they have every right and should do something about the girls who ignore the rules.
When schools have rules that aren’t enforced the only ones who are punished are the girls who follow the rules.
The school is limited in how they can punish the girls. What else can they do.
Please parents do your children a favor and send them to schools where the school rules mesh with the chinuch in your home. While some high school children choose a different path than their parents I would venture to say that most of the 22 girls have parents who do not object to their children being on various forms of social media.

Being in high school doesn’t absolve parents of their responsibilities. They may have more freedom, but they are still kids and should still have their parents looking over their shoulders.
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:31 pm
Can someone please explain to me what tic tok is?
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:32 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
People don't choose which schools to send their kids to. The schools select the students, and because school is mandatory, parents have no choice but to send to whatever school accepts.

Yea they do. You apply to schools which align with your hashkafos. If you are ok with your hold having an iPhone in high school, you won’t apply to a school that doesn’t allow it. If you allow your daughter to wear knee socks or leggings to school, it would be a little silly to apply to a school which only allows tights.
I know what school this is, it came up over shabbos. There are other options in the area. The people who send to this school chose to send there. This isn’t like other communities, where you go to whatever school accepts you.
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amother
Green


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:33 pm
amother [ Lavender ] wrote:
Can someone please explain to me what tic tok is?


It's basically a video sharing app. You create your own videos and share it with the world to see. You can edit the videos to however you like it.
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:35 pm
Oh please, cut this BS about only applying to schools you belong to abd come out of your caves. Between looking for the right academic fit, being at the mercy of school who choose YOU (not vice versa), tuition considerations, and more or less aligning with your hashkafos, there is not much for you to choose from.
Don't tell me you don't know about many girls having a darn phone for school and a smartphone for home.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:36 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
Those schools are not easy to get into!

So? Rather you should apply to a school that doesn’t align with your hashkafos, and then get upset when your daughter breaks the rules and then gets in trouble? (No YOU, a parent) No school is perfect, and there will probably always be some rules that parents think is ridiculous or whatever, but your job as a parent is to say “Look. In our house, cuz is ok, but when you go to school, you are not in our house anymore. Just like you need to follow our rules, you need to follow the school rules too, and if they say something isn’t allowed, then we’d need to make sure you don’t do it.”
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:37 pm
My understanding is that the school in question is not so easy to get into either. I'm glad they didn't turn a blind eye to this. Sometimes families send to a school but arent interested in following the school guidelines. They want the kavod of what it means to send to that school.

There are instagram stars that send their children to Baiss Yaakov type high schools. The school doesn't seem to mind that the parents are instagram stars. I feel that parading your life, your face, your vacations, your children in front of the world is antithetical to what sending to Baiss Yaakov or Yeshiva Ketana type of schools are trying to accomplish. And then all the sheeple who follow this instagram star also rush to get into that school. And now everybody has lost site of what they were trying to accomplish to begin with.

To make a short story long. Its sad that the school had to suspend 22 girls. Even if it is a small percent of the whole. Its still a lot of girls. But I'm SO GLAD THEY DID IT. I have little respect for the schools that are happy to take the tuition dollars of some people they know don't have any interest in the school hashkafa. There are schools that would happily absorb these girls and not expect them to lie about their social media presence.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:37 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
Oh please, cut this BS about only applying to schools you belong to abd come out of your caves. Between looking for the right academic fit, being at the mercy of school who choose YOU (not vice versa), tuition considerations, and more or less aligning with your hashkafos, there is not much for you to choose from.
Don't tell me you don't know about many girls having a darn phone for school and a smartphone for home.


If you decide that an academic or financial fit is more important than whether the hashkafas align then that's a choice you have made and you need to adapt your practices to fit with the school rules. It's as simple as that.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:40 pm
Ema of 4 wrote:
So? Rather you should apply to a school that doesn’t align with your hashkafos, and then get upset when your daughter breaks the rules and then gets in trouble? (

There is literally no choice.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:42 pm
amother [ Blonde ] wrote:
If you decide that an academic or financial fit is more important than whether the hashkafas align then that's a choice you have made and you need to adapt your practices to fit with the school rules. It's as simple as that.

Exactly!!!! When you register your kid for school, one of the things you get is a handbook. Where’re you read it or not, by sending your child to that school, you are agreeing to follow the rules. It’s not like the rules ONLY apply to those for whom hashkafos align. If you chose a school for academics, the rules apply. If you chose a school for financial reasons, the rules apply. If you chose a school for prestige, the rules apply. If you chose a school for its hashkafos, the rules apply. Don’t blame the school for having rules that you don’t want to enforce.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:43 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
There is literally no choice.

In this community, where this school is, there are options.
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amother
Green


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:46 pm
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
There is literally no choice.


There is a choice. I didn't apply to schools I don't belong in that I knew we wouldn't follow their rules. If you do apply to a school you don't belong in, just follow their rules!! For the sake of your kids so that they should grow up as normal adults! It's not that hard. A teenager doesn't must have a smartphone and social media. It's actually quite damaging for them. How can you raise kids by teaching them that they don't have to follow the rules? How are they supposed to grow up and marry as normal people??
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Feb 15 2020, 9:47 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
People choose where to apply. If you send to a school you don't belong in, at least have the decency to follow the rules. It is terrible chinuch for kids when their parents are not on the same page as the school. If you allow your kids to break the school rules, you're subjecting them to consequences and punishment. Parents have to work together with the school.



But think about it. 22 girls (out of 300) were suspended. It stands to reason that many girls have tictok accounts, Instagram, Facebook, use social media, and weren't caught. My point is that in reality a large portion of the parent body is just fine with all this social media. It's the few people who run the school that are against it.
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