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Would you go ..



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Feb 17 2020, 8:01 pm
To a simcha like bar/ bas mitzvah or wedding with music live or recorded after pesach but before r"c. Would you go to one more then the other? Would you let your children go? I know it's more common to make simchas after lag baomar but some people still hold stuff at that time.
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Stars




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 17 2020, 8:02 pm
I would ask my lor
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yiddishmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 17 2020, 8:03 pm
Your rav will have the answer for you.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 17 2020, 8:04 pm
I would discuss it with my husband.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Mon, Feb 17 2020, 8:10 pm
Are you sure this is even a shaila to ask?

It's so common in my circles (right-wing yeshivish community) to make a chasuna between pesach and rosh chodesh and I've never heard of people not attending because of that.

Probably the baal simcha needs to keep the second half of the oimer (my family do that anyway), but for everyone else it's totally fine.

ETA: Interesting you say common after lag beoimer. By us it's the other way around, no one does it then.
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fleetwood




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 17 2020, 8:14 pm
Our LOR told us we could go.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 3:36 am
I would go. We've been invited to smachot like that as have my parents (as I remember growing up). We were told its fine to go, but I will assume everyone should ask their own LOR.
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blessedflower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 3:47 am
Is it going to hurt the bal simcha if you don't go. I can't imagine that would be okay in a time like sfira that we should be extra careful about others feelings
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 4:03 am
We were told that it goes by the minhag of the couple making the wedding, and we should go.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 9:01 am
We don’t make simchas that time, for the whole sefira. From pesach till after shvuos. Only on lag beomer.

If I would be invited to a wedding and it’s not very close I would skip it.

If my absence will hurt bal simcha I would ask a shaila
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 9:20 am
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
We don’t make simchas that time, for the whole sefira. From pesach till after shvuos. Only on lag beomer.

If I would be invited to a wedding and it’s not very close I would skip it.

If my absence will hurt bal simcha I would ask a shaila

So if you had a son who was born, like mine, on the last day of pesach, you would wait until lag ba’omer to makenthe bar mitzvah? Would you do something just on shabbos, at the right time, and not have something during the week?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 9:24 am
Yes

Rabbanim I know say it's no problem.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 9:26 am
If it was a distant relative or acquaintance, I would ask a shaila.

If it was close family, and shalom was at stake, I would go.

(I am not a rabbi. Please ask for yourself.)
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 12:06 pm
Ema of 4 wrote:
So if you had a son who was born, like mine, on the last day of pesach, you would wait until lag ba’omer to makenthe bar mitzvah? Would you do something just on shabbos, at the right time, and not have something during the week?


Does a bar mitzvah "have to" have music? In my circles bar mitzvahs are always on the boys birthday, a formal sit down meal, music totally optional.
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amother
Black


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 12:48 pm
My daughter is also born acharon shel Pesach! We're making her a bat mitzvah during sefira but there will be no music or dancing. She will be making a siyum on Navi and we'll have a meal and do a chessed project. We asked our Rav and he told us this is appropriate to do during sefira. If DD had wanted to have a big party with music and dancing then we would have pushed off celebrating until after Lag b'omer, when people in our circles start listening to music again. Alternatively we could have made the party before Pesach, but that's only possible with a girl since a bar mitzvah boy can't lein for the tzibur before his actual birthday.

I think your options are either to make a bar mitzvah during sefira that is appropriate to the time without music or to push it off until later. There's nothing wrong with making a bar mitzvah only on Shabbos without an extra party.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 12:59 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
Does a bar mitzvah "have to" have music? In my circles bar mitzvahs are always on the boys birthday, a formal sit down meal, music totally optional.

We are only doing shabbos, and I have no idea what the “norm” is here.
No, I don’t think a bar mitzvah MUST have music, but all the bar mitzvahs I have been to that we’re not on shabbos all had some type of music for dancing.
I was really asking a general question though, because that poster said we don’t make smachos during sefira.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:20 pm
I want to make a simcha at that time I was just wondering what people would feel about different simchas. There will definitely be music and dancing but not live music but I don't want people not to show it would be mostly my child friends. We hold the 2nd half so we would wait till after shavos but I kinda don't want to.
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