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What life wisdom has age and life experience taught you?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 12:42 pm
Looking for mature and experienced imamothers to share bits of wisdom that you feel you have gained through life experience.

Feel free to share your age if you choose!

Upper 30s here. Ok, almost 40 Wink

One thing I have seen.... As I get older, I realize more and more how there is so much we don't know about others, and I find myself becoming so much less judgmental than I used to be when I was younger.

Please share your life wisdom!
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Emotional




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 12:53 pm
40 year old here.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 12:55 pm
Everyone is in it for their own benefit. When offered something, check the person's motives. Only accept an offer if you're okay with the motives behind it.

No one really cares about anything other than what feels nice for them at a given moment.

Don't expect people to think - most people don't even know what that means.

Don't bother explaining yourself, other than to people who show an understanding of the issue at hand. There's no point in wasting time and patience explaining a complex issue to someone who will never get it.

Somehow I don't think this is the inspirational wisdom you were looking for....
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 12:56 pm
Emotional wrote:
40 year old here.
Don't sweat the small stuff.

And most of it is small stuff.

Before you get upset at your kids, think about what you're about to get upset over - will it matter in 15-20 years? If not, let it drop.

Pick your battles. Most things aren't worth fighting over.
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amother




Rose
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 12:57 pm
Yes, definitely agree that I have become less judgmental as I age.
I've learned to let go of most of the "shoulds" that were ruling my life. I have begun living MY life, not my parents'; not my friends'; the life I want to live. (50s)
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gamzehyaavor




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:04 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
Everyone is in it for their own benefit. When offered something, check the person's motives. Only accept an offer if you're okay with the motives behind it.

No one really cares about anything other than what feels nice for them at a given moment.

Don't expect people to think - most people don't even know what that means.

Don't bother explaining yourself, other than to people who show an understanding of the issue at hand. There's no point in wasting time and patience explaining a complex issue to someone who will never get it.

Somehow I don't think this is the inspirational wisdom you were looking for....

This a million percent. No doubt about it!!
And I agree with pp to the no sweating the small stuff. The other thing I’ll add is to just take life as it comes. Take it day by day and (and sometime hour by hour!) but main thing is to keep calm. Everything will fall into place.
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amother




Teal
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:04 pm
In my 40s
All my life I've trusted others opinion of me.
I didn't live for myself.
And I didn't appreciate that I know myself best.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:04 pm
That you can't be 20 and have the wisdom of 30. So I choose 30 over 20 more and more.
Because there's a certain wisdom that comes with age that cannot be acquired before and that kinda wisdom is amazing.

That people don't care about you as much as you care of what they care about you.

Laugh and love because it brings joy. And anything joy is worth it.

Invest in good relationships (whatever it means to you......marriage, friends, family).

Don't hate the dentist. Invest in that relationship every 6 months. Your teeth are worth it. LOL

I'm upper 30s
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amother




Peach
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:22 pm
Be a happy mother and happy wife
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Looking for mature and experienced imamothers to share bits of wisdom that you feel you have gained through life experience.

Feel free to share your age if you choose!

Upper 30s here. Ok, almost 40 Wink

One thing I have seen.... As I get older, I realize more and more how there is so much we don't know about others, and I find myself becoming so much less judgmental than I used to be when I was younger.

Please share your life wisdom!

Read the title and was immediately going to write the same. I'm also almost 40.
I'm dealing with a challenging situation and besides for the situation itself, an additional challenge is knowing that I'm being judged by others close to me who think I should be doing this or that differently. I have a couple of close friend I trust that I discuss things with, as well as my husband, and I know this is a nisayon from Hashem and we are dealing with it in the best possible way. But the judgement of others, especially ppl I thought would have my back, has been hard. made me humble and helped me realize that I should never judge either.

One more: all you need to deal with is TODAY. Tomorrow, next week, next month will come. Focus on dealing the right way with today instead of making poor decisions out of fear of the future.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:31 pm
"When you're 20, you care what everyone thinks. When you're 40, you stop caring about what everyone thinks. When you're 60, you realize that nobody was ever thinking about you in the first place".
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amother




Smokey
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:35 pm
Know what's happening with your money. Pay attention to your bank accounts.
No matter how much you trust your husband.
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Emotional




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:37 pm
Also,
People - all people - will never fail to disappoint you. So don't put too much hope in people. Only in G-d.
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:40 pm
that what goes around comes around. it may take a while but it very often does. I'm 45!
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Chaya123




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:44 pm
40 here bh!
Most things in life get resolved with just a bit of patience.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:45 pm
It really REALLY doesn’t matter what others think about you
50
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Chaya123




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:45 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
Be a happy mother and happy wife


Absolutely! This is more important than clean house, good food etc.
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Chaya123




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:46 pm
Emotional wrote:
40 year old here.
Don't sweat the small stuff.


similar to gam ze yaavor, this too shall pass. Almost everything passes eventually, no matter how great or intense the situation seems at the time.
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amother




Salmon
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:48 pm
Live your own life, not the one someone else designs for you.
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Emotional




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 18 2020, 1:57 pm
1) Don't be afraid to acknowledge that you've made mistakes
2) Don't be afraid to acknowledge that the people you admire and look up to also make mistakes
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