Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Interesting Discussions -> Inspirational
What life wisdom has age and life experience taught you?
Previous  1  2  3  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Amber


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:02 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
"When you're 20, you care what everyone thinks. When you're 40, you stop caring about what everyone thinks. When you're 60, you realize that nobody was ever thinking about you in the first place".

That means I'm about fifty. No one is thinking about me in the first place. But if they were I cover myself appropriately.

Thing is I'm barely more than 30.
Back to top

singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:07 pm
You only know a little part of the story. Even if it's your story.
Back to top

amother
Brown


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:13 pm
I'm in my 40s.
In my late 20s I learned to live my life for myself and not as my parents wish. Its incredibly freeing, even when they verbalize everything they think you're doing wrong.

Definitely dont sweat the small stuff. Think about what you want your kids to fondly recall about you - for me it's laughter and making our home a cheery, warm place that is full of love. No one eulogizes their mother and says "the dishes were always washed on the same night" Very Happy
Back to top

amother
Honeydew


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:21 pm
im almost 50.... no brain thinks the same....we all define things differently.... please dont get insulted..... think positive.....
Back to top

amother
Vermilion


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:22 pm
I don't really agree that people aren't thinking about you.

I've come across some very judgmental and nasty women over the course of my children's school years. I think they were very definitely thinking about me and judging me and my children. I saw it in their faces and I heard it in their tone of voice - besides for the hurtful comments.

But I do believe in karma. "Galgal hachozer." The wheel of fortune. Whatever you want to call it. Everyone gets their turn in some way. Whoever is on top, they also experience the bottom in some form or another.

So its important to tune out the people who aren't on your side, who don't give credence to your voice and to believe in yourself, your children, and your life choices. You only get one chance, may as well live fully!
Back to top

amother
Cerulean


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:30 pm
"mentch tracht un Gut lacht"

"gam zeh Yavor"

80% is siyatte dishmaya. The other 20 is in Hashem's hands.

I'v also become more humble with age learning on the way that regardless, ultimately, it's up to Hashem.

I'm in my 40's, married off 4 kids and a mother of 14. I've had quite a few teachers!
Back to top

amother
Amber


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:34 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
I don't really agree that people aren't thinking about you.

I've come across some very judgmental and nasty women over the course of my children's school years. I think they were very definitely thinking about me and judging me and my children. I saw it in their faces and I heard it in their tone of voice - besides for the hurtful comments.

But I do believe in karma. "Galgal hachozer." The wheel of fortune. Whatever you want to call it. Everyone gets their turn in some way. Whoever is on top, they also experience the bottom in some form or another.

So its important to tune out the people who aren't on your side, who don't give credence to your voice and to believe in yourself, your children, and your life choices. You only get one chance, may as well live fully!

Well firstly they might not have been judging you - you might have just interpreted it that way.

Secondly, in the rare instance that they ARE nasty yentas, that really has nothing to do with you - it has to do with them. So why bother yourself about it anyways?

The galgal chozer/ karma thing really bothers me. I believe that it is true but relying on it to make yourself feel better, seems like comforting yourself that other people are suffering. It just seems mean. (Not directed at you specifically, there were several others who posted this as well.)
Back to top

lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:41 pm
delete

Last edited by lilies on Wed, May 06 2020, 9:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother
Cerulean


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:45 pm
lilies wrote:
It's not about being happy that others are suffering. There are few greater pleasures in this world than the pleasure of seeing Hashem's hand in having your pain and suffering validated (that's not the right word, someone help). There are some Torah sources on this.
That reinforces "yesh borah imanhig" the world isn't hefker, everything has a cheshbon.
Back to top

amother
Amber


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 2:47 pm
lilies wrote:
It's not about being happy that others are suffering. There are few greater pleasures in this world than the pleasure of seeing Hashem's hand in having your pain and suffering validated (that's not the right word, someone help). There are some Torah sources on this.

It's validating, bchinat tzarat rabim chetzi nechama?
Because you know, tzarat rabim nechamat tipshim.
Back to top

amother
Scarlet


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 3:04 pm
Trust your instinct

Don’t rattle a young child’s nervous system. (Don’t overreact)

The first five years of a child’s life is the building blocks.

If all goes to hell. Just put one foot in front of the other. Eventually it will get you somewhere.

Even bad people do good things.

Even if you thought you were so good. In a lifespan you will have done some pretty bad things too.

We are all human.

We need to practice forgiveness. And know Hashem is full of compassion and forgiveness.

Blame isn’t productive.

Life is like a dream. It goes by real fast.

Be kind. Be kind. Be kind.

There is nothing other than Hashem.
Back to top

busy mommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 3:34 pm
you choose to be happy! no matter what the circumstance is you can choose to be happy.
Back to top

amother
Navy


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 3:40 pm
Control is an illusion. We can make our own choices, but there is no guaranteed outcome. It's all from HKBH.
Back to top

amother
Turquoise


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 6:09 pm
Love this thread! I'm amazed how much life experience can change a mindset and bring so much insight and wisdom into our lives.

Im 30 and am already in awe at how much Ive gained, I can't wait to see whats to come!!

Ive learnt that you can NEVER judge anyone, and especially in our society where dresscode is so closely associated with identity, dont assume anything!! The more I speak to people the more I realise every single person is unique, everyone has a rich history and upbringing, a strong inner world, an individual identity that runs so much deeper than what you see.

Ive learnt that the people who seem to be so out there and have it perfect are usually suffering the most. The facade is never real. Its the quiet, boring people that keep to themselves who are actually most content.

Ive learnt that we all live in our own heads, its impossible not to. We can make an effort to see other perspectives and hear peoples views and look at the world with an open and receptive mind, but ulimately we are still limited by our own minds. I find this makes forgiving people much easier.

Ive learnt that not only is life never perfect, its often the imperfections, the struggles, the hard times that are our greatest achievements. Its those moments that give us a glimpse into the depth of life and keep us on a path of growth.

Ive learnt how powerful human connection is. We all crave relationships and connection. Its what keeps us infused on this long journey called life.

Ive learnt to listen to my gut. Without fail, every negative experience/ relationship/ job I fell in to, I could have avoided if I listened to my instincts.

Ive learnt that confidence and a strong sense of self will carry you farther than anything else can.

O I can go on... reflecting is so therapitic! Thanks for giving me the oppertunity!!
Back to top

amother
Pink


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 6:27 pm
Remember that your children are their own people. They are not "mini-you's" and successful parenting does not equal punching out carbon copies of who you or your husband are. You were entrusted to nurture and see to the health of their נשמות, but you must let them be true to themselves and allow each his/her own relationship with Hashem. They need to always feel your love and acceptance. Always encourage their curiosity -- and always encourage your own! Never stop learning.

Age=43, mom to a number of independent and lovely people
Back to top

amother
Khaki


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 6:48 pm
The more I think I know the less I actually know.
You can only control your own actions/ emotions/ responses, not anyone else's and it’s not healthy to even try.
It’s all about perception.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.

And that Amother turquoise is a very wise woman.

Early 50’s and a grandma.
Back to top

amother
Royalblue


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 6:52 pm
Trust your own inner voice even if others don’t trust it.
Back to top

amother
Natural


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 6:52 pm
Two quotes:

"I've learned at times its best to bend 'cause if you don't, well, those are the breaks." Jim Croce

"You're fat. I'm ancient. We're gorgeous." This is Us
Back to top

amother
Lemon


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 6:53 pm
Don’t expect much from people my mother died two people came to her shiva and no one called
Back to top

amother
Royalblue


 

Post Tue, Feb 18 2020, 6:57 pm
Shallow people are often at the centre of popularity. Often There’s not much under the nice exterior.
Surround yourself with quality people even if they’re more quiet.
Back to top
Page 2 of 3 Previous  1  2  3  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions -> Inspirational

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Clean library books for age 13 14 Today at 2:50 pm View last post
Have never been so tight financially in my life
by amother
25 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:17 pm View last post
[ Poll ] Until what age do you consider your child a baby? Poll
by amother
49 Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:45 am View last post
Wisdom teeth removal anywhere in NY that takes Fidelis
by amother
12 Mon, Mar 18 2024, 7:55 pm View last post
Ketamine changed my life for the better AMA
by amother
42 Mon, Mar 18 2024, 12:25 pm View last post